He was definitely doing what I think he was doing, wasn’t he?

[ArgumentativeAardvaark]

DH went to bed before me this evening. He has a heavy cold and was coughing a lot and generally miserable. Our bedroom is above sitting room and has a wooden floor and squeaky bed so I could hear every time he tossed and turned. After about half an hour I noticed the noise getting more rhythmic....I guess he stoped turning and just concentrated on the tossing...

Eurgh. We haven’t had sex in weeks (toddler, illness, tiredness etc- our relationship is fine). I feel sad that he did that instead of asking me to come up to bed with him, and pretty grossed out to be honest. I know he was probably just trying to get to sleep but.... eurgh.

(I am not averse to a bit of self- pleasure myself but only when alone in the house).

You're poor mum. I'm sure theres plenty of other lovely things to remember her by. Try and see her as a whole person and grow up. You seem v immature and judgemental. Take a day off.

I find that sends me to sleep and often masterbate before DH comes to bed as a way to fall asleep. I think saying it is urgh is weird anyone but especially if you don't have a problem with the act itself but just because you are in the house.

I think it's weird that you were grossed out by your DH. That says a lot.

No, I most definitely have not seen him having a wank! (Nor my previous DP of 5 years or any other boyfriend).

It's nothing for him or you to be embarrassed about, if it makes you feel uncomfortable you need to mention it so it doesn't happen again.

If we are apart my husband has been known to tell me he is going to have a wank in reply to a 'what you up to' text and he quite often watches me have a wank which leads to sex if we have the house to ourselves,

everyone has different options there is no right and wrong

Have a wank off, problem solved then you will both be comfortable with it. On a serious note I would have gone to watch and joined in.

Everyone on here claiming they’re so liberal but I bet anyone I asked would feel exactly the same the same as you OP. I know I would

Just pretend you didn't hear.
A non event, in some ways thoughtful if he's not feeling great.

I bet anyone I asked would feel exactly the same the same as you OP. I know I would

Do you think everyone is exactly the same as you then?

Meh you could always have gone up and offered to give him a hand (job)😂

I bet anyone I asked would feel exactly the same the same as you OP. I know I would

Oh do please walk about town with a survey and official looking clipboard

I love my DH but I'm chuffed when he amuses himself as it were and leaves me in peace. Especially if he was likely to give me his germs when ill. Don't take it personally.

I’ve only read the first page OP, I wouldn’t like this either.. I’d also be pretty offended and also grossed out by this!

He didn't want to have sex. If he did that he would have to think about pleasuring you as well unless you have a relationship where both of you are happy with you tossing him off just for the relief?
So he just decided to pleasure himself instead of involving you and making it a longer event.

Like most pps, I think you are being very precious and uptight, op. This is your husband - surely you can talk about anything?

I was quite surprised by "I refuse to believe that the average married couple chat regularly about wanking". Me and my partner talk about wanking all the time. Are we being unreasonable?

Can’t see the problem to be honest, I would have asked my partner if he enjoyed it 😂

Op why did you want to have sex with him when he's poorly and snotty?

I wouldn’t like this either... and also grossed out by this! OK I get this, I dint really want to think about my DH wanking but of course him doing so is normal and fine. What's he wanted into and will I accidentally find it in tbe washing basket etc.
But I can't understand i’d also be pretty offended. Do you expect your husband to have sex with you if your full of cold and snot?? Honestly?? Pp

You're taking this way too personally.

As others have said, he's an adult in his own house and his own bed.

FYI though: I get the whole toddlers, tired etc... but that's not an excuse to not be intimate with your partner. You need to get on that right away. If you're not having sex for weeks your relationship is NOT fine.

My grandma gave me some sage advice when I married: sleep with your husband because if you don't, someone else will.

Best piece of advice I've ever been given.

We’re all different, aren’t we? There’s no right or wrong here. Personally wanking makes up a very fun part of our relationship. Doing it, watching it, talking about it. But I can understand it’s not everyone’s cuppa. I guess I feel a little sad that the OP finds the thought of her DH doing it embarrassing because to my mind it It can be a very healthy mutually enjoyable pastime! But like I say, we are all different!

I'm sorry, but watching my DP wank is one of the sexiest things I can think of. We talk about it often (not all the time, but certainly often when 'in the mood') and he was hugely supportive in me having the confidence to masturbate in front of him in the early days.

It's so freeing to be that way with each other. I can't believe you don't yearn for that kind of openess OP.

how boring, you don't want to watch him wank or talk about him wanking? It's one of the most arousing things to watch. I also find it hard to believe that he doesn't want to watch you masturbate, guys LOVE that. Well, the ones I've been with have... 😏

I am a really shy person myself but He is your husband and you should be able to talk to him about anything. Especially sexual stuff. Every single guy does this and it’s actually pretty normal. Mine does it loads and we have a very regular sex life. I know I would be able to go upstairs and help him out esp if he’s feeling unwell too. Afterwards I would say you know I could hear you downstairs. Then suggest we buy a new bed or put a rug down or something.

@Toneitdown

preach it girl!