He was definitely doing what I think he was doing, wasn’t he?

[ArgumentativeAardvaark]

DH went to bed before me this evening. He has a heavy cold and was coughing a lot and generally miserable. Our bedroom is above sitting room and has a wooden floor and squeaky bed so I could hear every time he tossed and turned. After about half an hour I noticed the noise getting more rhythmic....I guess he stoped turning and just concentrated on the tossing...

Eurgh. We haven’t had sex in weeks (toddler, illness, tiredness etc- our relationship is fine). I feel sad that he did that instead of asking me to come up to bed with him, and pretty grossed out to be honest. I know he was probably just trying to get to sleep but.... eurgh.

(I am not averse to a bit of self- pleasure myself but only when alone in the house).

Perhaps I am just over-sensitive about the need for masturbation to be private after I found a massive black dildo in my late Mum’s bedside drawer after she died suddenly

Did ye, aye?

Well my brother found it actually, then showed me. I wish it were not true but it is.

Well this has taken an unexpected turn!

My kids can look forward to finding an assortment of toys. Maybe I should leave a little warning note on the lid of the box? TBH though I hope they would find it funny.

My brother (who is in his 30s) phoned me up one day to tell me that he had found little blue pills and lube in my dad's bedside cabinet. When I asked him why he told me he said "If I have to have the mental image of our parents having sex then so do you"

My main concern I think is that I was embarrassed for him that I heard

It's just a shame you didn't have friends around. Now THAT would have been embarrassing for him...

To me, you've got a wierd relationship, I have no problem talking about wanting with anyone, especially my partner, if he was embarrassed hearing me, I'd tell him to catch himself on tbh. It's a normal function of human sexuality, would you embarrassed hearing him go to the toilet, getting undressed, farting? I find it hard to believe that this is a genuine issue

I'm not really sure what your late DM's sex toy has to do with anything?

Presumably the, sexual, relationship you have with your DH is pretty different from your relationship with your mother.

It was a lighthearted anecdote Cohle.

I just think it's a little odd that you think "the need for masturbation to be private" between a parent and child is particularly relevant to being able to discuss masturbation with your spouse!

@ArgumentativeAardvaark well if you find it that embarrassing don’t say the word And why would your husband be that embarrassed that you knew about it?

I’m really not getting this out all. Sorry.

Sorry phone deleted some bits.

If you find it that embarrassing don’t say the word wanking

I don’t Cohle. Mentioning the thing with my Mum was supposed to be gently poking fun at myself by humorously suggesting the two situations were similar. I guess that humour doesn’t work too well when written down.

I've definitely never laughed at the written word.

@RRJR

You are weird and controlling

And you are nasty. 🙇🏻‍♀️ why do you have to insult the OP to make your point?

OP tbh me and my DP do talk about masturbation with each other and masturbate in front of each other (not to each other) as part of sex sometimes.

Have you ever spoken to your DPs about wanking? It sounds as if you were open about discussing it at the beginning of your relationship but he closed the convo down?

We don’t talk about masturbation either.

who cares? for most men it's as routine as taking a dump. i certainly would be grateful he didn't expect me to get involved 😷

I can’t imagine being embarrassed to hear your partner having a wank. That implies youve never seen him having a wank? I find that more unusual than discussing having a wank. 🤷🏼‍♀️

No, I most definitely have not seen him having a wank! (Nor my previous DP of 5 years or any other boyfriend).

This is hilarious. I've even read some bits to my husband. Shock horror.

I'd have felt the same and I'd be outraged he hasn't even Asked me for sex

I think you should relax, and masturbate in front of each other as part of your next sex. It’ll break the ice, and you won’t need to feel embarrassed if you ever hear him wanking again. HTH 👍🏼

This thread is, funnily enough, absolutely full of wankers, and not in a fun way.

Frankly, your real issue is that your floorboards are in a really bad way and if you don't do something one or more may snap.