Dating thread 167: Help, I need somebody - but not just anybody

[CassettesAreCool]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you. 12. Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Appswww.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Happy birthday Jesuis! So glad the meet went well x

Happy birthday @JeSuisPrest , glad it went well.
Going to name my iron Mr Spark. We've been dating 2 weeks and exclusive since the first date. He is very much a gentleman and has driven to see me 4 times in a week. He lives 30 minutes away so an hour round trip. He had a really tiring day today and drove to me so we could see each other for 30 minutes as I'm heading to Cornwall early tomorrow until Saturday.
Babysitter is booked (nan) for Saturday night and I'm spending the night and day with him 😍. I know I shouldn't get too invested but I really have 🙈.

Sorry to hear you've had a trying day today @Ant330 , as someone said, hopefully you can get some closure now.

I’m afraid I have to add to the thread sadness as MsM&M feels she has to end things. Fairly brutally she feels she can’t love me; it’s just not happening for her. I am really gutted. I shan’t be swiping for a while. Not sure how you guys can just dive straight back in.

I’ve asked for her to reconsider but I got shifted around a bit over the past couple of weeks so I suspect that was a sign of her equivocation. I will sleep on things then send a message to wish her luck as she deserves someone great.

Sorry sunshine and Marlbs - I'm joining you! God, I got such a slaying on that other thread! Been crying all eve over splitting with MrWow. He's made me feel really bad about myself. He didn't know about my 'other options' and it wasn't really about them anyway. I've done the right thing and no going back this time. I've blocked him everywhere. Feel shit though. Not going to run off with the other options, think it was just a distraction which made me question our relationship. If I truly thought he was 'the one' I wouldn't have felt confused. I wanted too much from him obviously.

WhatsApping with my POF crush. Score!

I read the thread and took the advice, except I couldn't bring myself to block, but I deleted all the WhatsApp messages, and guess who just spent most of today pinging me little messages and then a lovely 2 hours chat. now if we can just get back together physically...

@Ant330 - so annoyed by miss H(f) literally the one day things should have been about you after your mums interment and she turns all the drama onto her. She is a bloody disaster. Just get through tonight. We are human and have a drive to connect - she is familiar. Don't reach out to her tonight. Put your needs first. Hope you feel better tomorrow.

Ah fuck. I went on Tinder to look at Mr Bucket’s profile; he’s been on today as this is the first time his location has moved since I met him. Obviously I’ve been on it sporadically, so being a massive hypocrite, but am a bit sad about it. He told me he wasn’t chatting to anyone else when I asked him a couple of weeks ago; I guess that was just a time-specific answer! He’s so wrong for me on so many levels but I had fallen for him. He’s been messaging me every day so I thought that he was still interested; I guess he’s also hedging his bets. Do you think I can just delete my Tinder account? It brings me no joy. My only thought is that he may think I’m trying to take things to the next level with him when really it’s just because it makes me sad.

Well, I deleted it. So that’s me done with OLD I guess!

Oh @HairyArsedMan and @TooOldForThis67  not another two. Sorry to hear this.

@Marlboroandmalbec34 I just mean that you know he's not right for you but you just can't let him go. I'm guilty of that one frequently. But maybe it really is time now? It reminds me of me and mr u is all I was referring to- I have no great new take on it for you it was all about me. Sorry...

Oh @HairyArsedMan I'm sorry to see you back too. Your also deserve someone great.

@twoold mr wow is a prat. I'm sorry he hurt you

Sorry hairy and tooold That’s it now he misery bench is full.

Is something in bloody retrograde?

I’ve had a cry and a nap and a bottle of wine and realised I just don’t want to sleep with someone who is sleeping with someone else and actually that’s perfectly fine! I have had fun but it’s time for something new! onwards and upwards.

Well I've just put mr perfect into a taxi. it is a bitch he still lives in London but may possibly relocate here (Scotland) as hes having interviews. Excellent in the sack, interesting, similarish work things, kind. Fuckinell

marlboro yay! You wont regret this. It's hard as hell, meeting or talking to people that just dont seem to stack up to the excitement/chemistry. But in the end, you took a gamble on yourself. Always a good bet in my book. Upwards indeed

@marlbs you are exactly right and it's great you didn't compromise what is rightly important to you

Sorry @HairyArsedMan and @TooOldForThis67

But very pleased for @supercali77, we needed some good news!

@SimonJT heeheeee! You were up late, me too. Couldnt sleep with my cheese meister grin. Sadly though unless he moves here it's just a one off or maybe when hes back up. Still it gave me some faith!

@HairyArsedMan really sorry to hear that....it is really hard, I think I took 2 months off the apps after the last one.

It's strange how the thread moves in waves. Like synchronised dating. I had a great evening but I am shattered now and some bastard knocked my wing mirror off last night. Grrrr

Oh I'm sorry about all the sadness in this thread!! I hope things look up soon for people.

Not much from me....no more messages from mr 50 miles which is good but have realised that we are going to be in the same holiday destination at the same time in October #awkward!!

Thinks are looking good with my new iron mr Irish. I'm desperate to hear that Irish accent!!

I've mentioned me Pining for my ex whom I split from 3 months ago. I'll call him mr bald. I think I might be ready to delete the WhatsApp thread..... I need to buy the final feeling hurts. I know it's not going anywhere though

Everyone seems to be having a run of rotten luck! Seeing Mr Chips tonight but still no exclusivity chat and to be honest I don’t expect he’ll instigate one later

Oh blimey this thread is a heart wrencher! Sunshine, marl, ant, hairyarsedman and toooldforthis I'm just going to leave a big tray of assorted good gins, mixers, chocolate, ice cream, cake and hugs here, help yourself.

Sunshine - that sounds like a PTSD type of action - If he's (ex?) SAS that could fit. Get close, feel unworthy, push away, rinse repeat. Nothing doing to fix it, but worth being aware he might come back for another repetition or 10 of the cycle if you let him

Ant, big massive ehugs, you did a lot of hard stuff in one day there. Please remember that you are a decent man, and deserve a partner who will connect and communicate with you when things get a bit hard, not just emo vomit all over you when they finally realise they've already pushed you too far too long after you've been trying to tell them that for bloody ages.

Jesuis I'm glad it went well you made me smile saying he's more sensible than you. Same here, 5in1 made us calm down ("this is loving time not sexy time now") so I would drive home safely the other night and made us go home at a decent time because I had lots of work to do the next day. I was all for reckless abandon and screw the consequences, that's tomorrow I can't resist him, that's the problem! but I had just as lovely a time with him chilling out chatting as dtd - i always do.

His birthday is in 3 months - I feel like we are at a weird teeter point on do we plan for that or not? He was talking about booking a weekend away with mates, and well I've had my eye on somewhere i think he'd love as a mini break for us for his birthday. Not sure whether to get him to save a different date and go ahead and reserve (on the assumption I can hopefully cancel if we split up before then, it is still early days after all!) or wait until a bit closer to the time to avoid jinxing it What do you reckon?

@supercali77 I have to check my blood sugars at 1:30, if they’re not great I have to do it again at 3:30. Absolute ball ache.

@coffeeandchocolate9 Is it something you could take a friend to if you booked it and it couldn’t be cancelled?

So sorry for everyone who is having a difficult time at the moment- sending hugs. A couple of months back I met someone who I really clicked with - could spend hours with him and chat non- stop. We dtd and all good there but I didn't know where I stood with him - he was emotionally unavailable and I knew I would get my heart broken so knew I had to finish it. A week later I matched with someone else and when we met up we really clicked but this one is totally heart on sleeve - so different and refreshing. It's early days and we haven't dtd yet but we both feel like teenagers (we're in our early 60s). I suppose what I'm trying to say is that you need to close the door on something that isn't working for you before you can open the door to something that just might.

Feeling a bit better after a good sleep in my own bed last night.

Going to delete MrSAS today and draw closure. We've had a lovely few months but he's not for me. I'm not sure he's for anyone right now.

@SimonJT oh god that is a pain in the arse!