The fucker continues the abuse of kids

[greenberet]

So yesterday I posted how proud I was of both dc getting great grades and first choice uni places and the relief after too many years of worry

Just to point out how well Ds did - he is the second highest in his year point wise - which is bloody fantastic - he had the opportunity to upgrade but has stuck with his choice. The school I believe had written him off!

Well it didn’t last long.

Ds has to secure his accommodation by Sunday - he is off inter railing on sunday for 3 weeks with friends - all paid for by himself from his weekend job - he has been working both sat & Sunday for the last 8 months or so - originally it was just to Christmas but he managed to keep it up.

He is working tomorrow his last day and trying to pack.

The x has said he will pay £250 of his £550 accommodation deposit - he has told ds to phone his GF - x DF - to ask him to release some of the money he holds from the death of x mother - probably in some account that needs notice - and a possibility that GF will not agree - what then?

Ds is now panicking saying he doesn’t want to go - he is getting overwhelmed by the emails coming from the uni - this is typical behaviour of ds - all of which could be eradicated by x just paying the deposit

Will he fuck - he would rather have ds worrying about this for the next two days and not being able to go off on his holiday - ds was already meant to be at a leaving do tonight but has bailed out.

This is all so reminiscent of the school fees saga - x has to have a hold over them both - he was quite happy to attend school with ds yesterday no doubt to take some of the glory despite not paying the school fees for the last two years.

I’ve paid it despite my own precarious financial situation- I would rather not eat than see ds worry.

I’m documenting this still as I’m in liaison with Women’s Aid -

The sooner the kids can cut loose from this fucker the better.

By the way his maintenance will now stop - he’s £840 a month better off - but still holds the kids to a fucking ransom

Howdyalikemenow

I know where its from, which isn't the point, the point was to say just why use something so inappropriate given the context you are writing in.

Was it your purpose to do this? To ignore, or add to the pile-on of mental health/PD type accusations at OP

I think you are aware of exactly what I'm saying.

@energyvamp yes she’s said this on other threads

I had hidden this thread today but was alerted to it from my emails.

I was in the midst of a reply but lost it

I have felt my anxiety levels rising reading some of these comments just like when I had to deal with the x during the divorce process.

I feel like I have been giving a kicking and that whilst I am down several posters have joined in with more kicking

I have got all the posts - I have just printed this thread off

@Sunflowers211 - you are either off your head or a really nasty bully

You obviously missed expats post to me this morning when she apologised.

I had the insight to realise that I had probably trigerred off something by the emotional strength of her reply. My intention is not to cause further harm to anyone.

The rest of you - just sheep

Sunflowers

I am very sympathetic for Op who has clearly been rumbled and left the thread, but she is abusive to all and after reading the way she spoke to @expatinspain I can no longer sit in agreement with her behaviour

I have not left the thread you have no sympathy for me whatsoever - do not pretend that you do -

@Mumsnet - will you please confirm on this thread that truth and I are not the same poster please

@Ornery - as I said before your poor friend - if only she knew how you really felt about her - what’s the saying with friends like this ....

I am shaking - my body is telling me that these people on here are threatening me - just more abuse that I have already been subject to from a place of support

To clarify i am not pursuing legal action against the X but I am still dealing with the professional negligence of the barrister that did not turn up - I have already successfully found my solicitor at fault.

My assumption as to why you continue to read this thread - because you want to see me fail - the x didn’t succeed in destroying me and so you are trying to do this instead

They say that abuse is often repeated and the victim becomes the abuser - this can clearly be seen on here - so very very sad.

@expatinspain - I am really sorry for what you have been through x

Here:

I have the text chat with my Ds documenting his abusiveness to me but also his distress and anger that I also believe is wrongly directed at me - he believes I have an obsessive hatred to x - no I have an uncontrollable need to protect my kids from the manipulation that they are subject to -but I can't get them to see this - they want to believe it is me - that I'm schizo according to my Ds. I can't go on much longer like this - they now have carte Blanche to abuse me from their DF

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3151326-Not-sure-how-much-longer-I-can-go-on?msgid=75207922 although it was Scotsman and not psychotic (although I’m sure I’ve read that on another thread)

Greenberet, am I reading it right? You are now confirming you have been abusive?

@greenberet yes I apologised as I was on nights in between jobs and I initially commented after reading your opening post. I caught up with @expatinspain post then replied calling you out.

No I am not a bully but you are out of order and I stand by that. I personally have been through the same as you but don't vent my anger and frustration out on anyone who try's to help. I have reported you and the thread for your own mental well being.

Guess sometimes the truth hurts

@Sunflowers211

*think Green has every right to be hurt, angry and destroyed at how he Ex has treat her and her DC, I truly get it I do, I just do not like the way she speaks to people on a public forum who have been through similar or worse. She is angry at the wrong people.

Green I am sorry I was harsh, but I do get the way you feel, more than you know, but being abusive to others unacceptable and you know it.*

Do not give me this false sympathy - your posts have been deleted but incase you forgot what you said I will remind you

And you continue to talk about me behind my back thinking I have left

Its really not ok to accuse posters the way many are on here

I came here in good faith, and far from it being the case that any disagreeing with OP get a kicking, its been the case that any agreeing with her must be wrong, or in fact be her?!?

This is wrong thinking, and it does mean that some no longer trust anything in this thread, so if you don't believe any of it, please step away.

That 'schizo' post looks to have been totally taken out of context to use against OP. You cannot claim her dc say shes psychotic based on that!

It totally discounts the way that dc are manipulated and used by an abuser.

I dont think there is any point in me doing any justification of who I am, as the posters here do seem determined to shut down any talk that might support OP, and have now proven to me that they are working on the wrong assumptions and do not believe the word of an abused woman, or those that are offering support.

there is nothing wrong with my MH - thank you for helping me to see this

The issue is dealing with people who think they are helping when Infact they are doing the bloody opposite

What did I say earlier - stab me in the back with a smile on their face - how true!

@TruthOnTrial can you link to schizo post please

I have reported you and the thread for your own mental well being.

These kinds of statements now ring very hollow after reading pp comments on here.

Always aserting the abused woman is mentally ill, rather than supporting her, in belief.

You dont believe, so stop making arguments.

I have only come across these types of continue attacks in FWR! All the circular arguing and picking apart of everything said.

Its horrible to see.

Oh and how dare anyone disagree with you because if we do we are bully's and abusive? just behave @greenberet

People who have a difference of opinion to yours are not abusive, but hey that's your only line of defence same old same old.

Print out whatever you want I could not care less, I apologised for being harsh but pointed out I was replying whilst reading through the thread.

I am not going to agree with you if I think your wrong, you have been abusive, argumentative to everyone who did not share your point of view.

So your now calling me a bully blah blah blah, until someone else comes along to vent your anger towards.

Your DC will be learning from you, I hope to god you have not portrayed the same level of anger and hostility in RL towards their DF as you have on here. You are in denial if you think they will accept your level of thinking.

As for the money, it's for them to sort out not you. Get off your arse and get s job instead of hiding behind your 'Depression' that your own GP thinks you need to further intervention with. Your Ex probably is everything you said he is, but he does not care about it one bit so you living in resentment will not change anything.

No one is threatening you
No one is abusing you
No one is destroying you
No one is waiting for you to fail, it's just a thread on a forum. You're determined to be victimised, I agree with a PP who said that you identify as being a victim of abuse. You need to identify as something else.

I wasn't going to post on here as I didn't want to get caught up in it. I know Green of old. Green I have FB messaged you so you know who I am. I just want to say that, going back to the original post of the thread, yes I get it, the subtle non cooperation that just grinds you down. I too still deal with this, fortunately not too often as my circumstances are different to yours. But when I have, more recently, yes it brings it all back. And sometimes, it's not enough to eye roll, as someone put it, you need to vent and get it out of your system. Yes I get it. I've name changed because my ex also stalked me on MN. And yes I also know that you only ever post on MN when you need to vent. Quite why some men feel the need to be so awkward towards the mother of their children, I have no idea. All I know is that in my case, it drives their children further away.

I have copied below Whitershadeofpale post from ^thread

whitershadeofpale

Here:

I have the text chat with my Ds documenting his abusiveness to me but also his distress and anger that I also believe is wrongly directed at me - he believes I have an obsessive hatred to x - no I have an uncontrollable need to protect my kids from the manipulation that they are subject to -but I can't get them to see this - they want to believe it is me - that I'm schizo according to my Ds. I can't go on much longer like this - they now have carte Blanche to abuse me from their DF

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3151326-Not-sure-how-much-longer-I-can-go-on?msgid=75207922 although it was Scotsman and not psychotic (although I’m sure I’ve read that on another thread)

Is this what you meant OP?

@TruthOnTrial projecting again?

I agree she has been abused so if she is mentally well there is no excuse for her vile behaviour towards other posters.

Many of us have been through much much worse, I see it every day in my job. Your support of @greenberet is not helping her, your just telling her what she wants to hear.

@TruthOnTrial
Not inappropriate. Not malicious and not in any way an attack on the op. I think you're projecting.

Oh I’ve seen it - we are really scraping the barrel now aren’t we Dragging up posts from January 2018 - what 19 months ago

What are you trying to prove here @whitershadeofpale?

Just come out and say it -

And it’s me that has an obsession with the x?

I asked on here upthread who had reported me to MN with concern about my MH - no one had the guts to own up - was it you @over50andfab

@Sunflowers211 - what is your job?

Or, did you mean this post?

@Sunflowers211
whitershadeofpale

hear hear @Sunflowers. But is she doesn't listen when her own children tell her she's money hungry and psychotic then she sure as hell won't listen to us

Hi all,
We are going to lock this thread now as it is quite clearly not helping anyone. This will give everyone the opportunity to take a step back and consider whether they have anything helpful to contribute should this OP post again.
If anyone has any concerns about any particular posts, please do report them and we will take a look.