The fucker continues the abuse of kids

[greenberet]

So yesterday I posted how proud I was of both dc getting great grades and first choice uni places and the relief after too many years of worry

Just to point out how well Ds did - he is the second highest in his year point wise - which is bloody fantastic - he had the opportunity to upgrade but has stuck with his choice. The school I believe had written him off!

Well it didn’t last long.

Ds has to secure his accommodation by Sunday - he is off inter railing on sunday for 3 weeks with friends - all paid for by himself from his weekend job - he has been working both sat & Sunday for the last 8 months or so - originally it was just to Christmas but he managed to keep it up.

He is working tomorrow his last day and trying to pack.

The x has said he will pay £250 of his £550 accommodation deposit - he has told ds to phone his GF - x DF - to ask him to release some of the money he holds from the death of x mother - probably in some account that needs notice - and a possibility that GF will not agree - what then?

Ds is now panicking saying he doesn’t want to go - he is getting overwhelmed by the emails coming from the uni - this is typical behaviour of ds - all of which could be eradicated by x just paying the deposit

Will he fuck - he would rather have ds worrying about this for the next two days and not being able to go off on his holiday - ds was already meant to be at a leaving do tonight but has bailed out.

This is all so reminiscent of the school fees saga - x has to have a hold over them both - he was quite happy to attend school with ds yesterday no doubt to take some of the glory despite not paying the school fees for the last two years.

I’ve paid it despite my own precarious financial situation- I would rather not eat than see ds worry.

I’m documenting this still as I’m in liaison with Women’s Aid -

The sooner the kids can cut loose from this fucker the better.

By the way his maintenance will now stop - he’s £840 a month better off - but still holds the kids to a fucking ransom

@expatinspain

because they have used a word/phrase that you don't like

Nah they’ve used a word/phrase that contradicts the message they think they are giving

I can’t even be bothered to reply to the rest of your thread - it’s not worth my headspace

Night night - sleep well

So many on here really need to learn to read what is being said and not come up with some cock and bull

that during therapy your ex was referred to as a narcissist

you have got this COMPLETELY WRONG - can you not read? makes the rest of what you are saying bollocks -

I expect my kids would tell you to fuck off -

your judgement of me and my kids is based on complete and utter shite - not what I have said but what you have imagined I’ve said - personally I think you need to do a bit more work on yourself

No wonder we are living in a world where abuse is so prevalent and people are so fucked up!

I can’t even be bothered to reply to the rest of your thread - it’s not worth my headspace Because you can't spin the 'what do you know about depression' bollocks with me. When you've spent time in a hospital with people with psychosis, BPD during their worst episodes, people so traumatised that they can't even communicate and people who are catatonic, people like you with your victim mentality who use a diagnosis as an excuse for their poor behaviour make me fucking sick to be honest.

You know I’d like take this thread to WA and get them to comment!

- and just to defend myself again - the counsellor who met us both told me he was narcisstic - so a professional opinion as much as you can get one < your post, no?

jealousy on this unbelievable

Yes we're all jealous of a woman who has spent 5 years moaning about lack of money from her divorce settlement. We're all jealous of a woman who still cannot move on from the divorce. We're all jealous of a woman who has such bad depression she can't get out of bed but still has the emotional energy to spout shit on MN.

I expect my kids would tell you to fuck off I expect they'll tell you the same in a few years, when they're independent, if you carry on as you are.

Expat - I think you need some more help to be honest - somehow I seem to have triffered off a reaction in you which was unintended - my Diagnosis is not an excuse - it is recognised with PIp.

I could easily have been you - there for the grace of God - my son could easily have been you - maybe some people are stuck in victim mentality as you put it because they haven’t yet got the strength or catalyst to propel themselves out of it - maybe they have given up the fight. For someone who has witnessed this first hand you appear very judgemental.

My Dm was sectioned - I visited her in hospital. We all have our own battles - it is not a competition - maybe we all need to show a bit more compassion - myself included

So what’s your issue @Teachermaths - you obviously have one ?

over50andfab

Truth It's your dcs money, over50 and he owes it them.

They deserve that, and its for their support

If you mean this is the OP’s DC’s money, then from what I understand this is money left by

No, that isn't what I meant. I made a reply directly to you which is why I wrote it to you and your DC, not OPs.

I wrote:

It's your dcs money, over50 and he owes it them.

They deserve that, and its for their support

I dont know how else I could have said that directly to you, named you and directed it at your DCs and their money, but you have made it about OP

Do you mean “I” instead of “we” Or do you need moral support on this - what if no one else agrees with you does this mean you are jealous?

You're the one with multiple issues.

Your self centred approach to everything is the most obvious one.

Your utter bullshit is the next one (as expat has shown... You can't even keep up with your own shit).

If a medical professional actually read this thread I'd be horrified if they said you are managing life effectively.

@expatinspain - now I’m getting confused here - some are saying they are adult which means they are independent already - yes!

Some are saying as adults they should know their own minds - yes?

Well if you have read all my threads you will know a few years back I was having lots of battles with the kids - not now - the only time any “tension” occurs between us is when the x had been involved in some way or another - otherwise it’s pretty happy days - I’ve just had text messages from them both telling me they love me - both are out the country with friends -

I’m sure if they were as damaged by me as most seem to think I would be getting nothing from them don’t you?

Well you are a maths teacher I presume not a medical expert - just shows your own what arrogance? Ignorance?

Actually you have dropped yourself in it - because I said Women’s aid - you know the abuse specialists!

I can keep up with my own shit - I cant be bothered to keep up with the shit of how many?

Talk about fucking bullying! Never mind abuse!

people like you with your victim mentality who use a diagnosis as an excuse for their poor behaviour make me fucking sick to be honest

Do you put yourself above and better than OP with this sort of behaviour, exactly?

There are pp on here name-calling, and making awful, spiteful comments. All thinking they are somehow coming across as better

Noone seems to have dealt with the fact that DS money promised is being used as financial coercion.

Is anyone going to acknowledge this in all the spite?

Truth, sorry but I don’t get it which is why I thought you mistyped...what money are you referring to that he owes to my DC, given that they are adults?

Support during uni can be done 2 ways if not forthcoming from an absent parent - written into a consent order, as I did for DC2 (not able to for DC1 as getting divorced at the time), or applied for by the DC themselves through the court. That said, DC2 hasn’t spent hers - perhaps a car in the future 🤷‍♀️ . No contact with their dad necessary.

@over50andfab why are you still reading?

Green, for the same reason I am posting, which I already explained.

Btw this is an excellent idea and one you might find helpful
You know I’d like take this thread to WA and get them to comment!

Truth, sorry but I don’t get it which is why I thought you mistyped...what money are you referring to that he owes to my DC

So, I'll go back to your original words, which were:

I have no contact and neither do my DC. They don’t need their dad and certainly not his money.

I made a direct response to your words with:

It's your dcs money, over50 and he owes it them.

They deserve that, and its for their support

This is a fairly standard response to ensure men fulfill their responsibilities to their DC - fathers owe this to their dc, and it should be pursued for the benefit of the dc.

Its money for the dc. Its something that WA would promote in support of the welfare of dc and what fathers owe.

@over50andfab I cannot see that you have said why you are still reading

You have said you have been reading my posts for 4.5 years and that I do not listen to advice that is given to me?

So why are you still reading -?

@expatinspain reading your post it sounds like you had a very tough time of it and have come out an incredible strong woman. Being able to access, accept and engage with any help offered, together with wanting to do it for you daughter is what I am guessing got you through it. You should be very proud of yourself. 🙌

If WA agreed with me over50 what would you say then?

Specifically obviously wrt supporting dc, as this was being discussed, whether fathers were adequately contributing, or not, DCs do need financial support, and legally, when dependents.

Once in higher ed this no longer applies, but up until then it absolutely does.

Actually you have dropped yourself in it - because I said Women’s aid - you know the abuse specialists!

WTF are you talking about here?