Husband stole from me (again)

[Damsel77]

I am at my wits end.

I have only been married 3 months. 2 days ago I checked my bank account and found out my lovely husband had taken my personal cheque book (which I never use, it’s just been lying around the house) and written himself a cheque for £100.00. He’d not bothered to tell me. I felt physically sick and devastated.

This is not the first time this has happened. Around a year ago, I noticed items on my credit card statement I didn’t recognise, and sure enough, after a lot of lies and digging, found out he’d been using it behind my back. At the time I went baliisitic abd told him if he ever did this again I wouldn’t marry him. Now here we are, married, and he’s at it again.

What makes it worse is that there’s no real explanation, other than ‘I didn’t think you’d mind’, which is another lie as he knew from the last time I would be furious.

I can’t get my head around it. He works, has a good job and earns a good wage. But always seems to be broke. I’m pretty sure there’s nothing going on like gambling or drugs, he’s just terrible at managing his money.

I feel like the trust is completely broken and my initial reaction was divorce. He says I’m completely overreacting.

The big problem is we are in the middle of a very long, difficult TTC journey. I am 39, he is 44 and we were supposed to be going abroad for IVF in 2 months. I know this is terrible but I’m genuinely scared that if I end it, I’m also ending any chance of being a mother. There’s no way I could go it alone (say, with a sperm donor) as I don’t have any support.

I am so torn about what do do, and so hurt. I feel like whichever way I turn, I’ll be unhappy.

Zombie Thread 🤔

Bloody zombie!

I know it's a zombie but it's still helpful to others in a similar situation. Can only hope the op sorted things out and has her much wanted baby.

This is an awful situation but I’m posting as someone who was told in early 30s that her fertility was poor and yet had first DC at 33 and second DC at almost 41 neither with ivf in the end. I know that feeling of panic but please don’t trap yourself with a man like this .
You need to change PIN numbers and secure cheque book if you consider taking him back. You need to change your joint bank accounts so he cannot access it, only pay into it by SO.
You need to go through your accounts with a fine tooth comb and work out how you will account for that £100 in your business accounts.
I couldn’t live like that, to be honest. You will want to save for your children - but you will have to be thinking about stopping him accessing the money.
Can you really live with someone that you can’t trust? DH and I have our own accounts plus joint account which we pay into from salaries and which we pay bills from. I manage it - but we trust each other completely over money.

He forged your signature to steal from your business account. He could have asked you to help him out and explained why he needed the money. Please think about the choice he made.

He waved a big red flag in front of your face and you 'still' married him! What made you marry him?

Zombie. Thread.