Devastated

[MarthasGinYard]

Have had an up and down relationship with a good DP for almost 12 years. I would say last 12 months much stronger.

Very Early worries of trust have always made me a tiny bit suspicious, but hand on heart nothing has ever really happened.

I found something the other night which didn't quite add up. My anxiety made me have a search through his things which is something I haven't done in years. When he came in from work, I asked him to just explain and he did completely. Felt much better but forgot to admit I'd had a dig around. He found I'd looked through his drawer. He went absolutely mad and I was honest and told him I'd had a snoop and reasons why and apologised.

He wants to call it a day says he's not happy. He can barely look at me. I feel terrible. I don't want my little family to split up. I've begged him to change his mind. We've been through similar once before. He says I've pushed him away and will never trust him. I actually do. I love him very much. probably haven't shown it enough. I've taken him for grafted and we are in a bit of a rut I guess.

Just need a hand hold through this. I have work today a long shift where have to be smiling and on the ball and don't know how I'll get through it. Haven't slept a wink. Please try to be gentle.

I'm in my 40's and I feel so vulnerable and worried about the future. I'd literally do anything to try and make things better. I think it might be too late.

If you have got this far

Thank you

Hope you’re ok OP

I've just RTFT I hope you're enjoying the holiday.

Everything crossed for you that you come through it together

How are you @MarthasGinYard?

More support coming from me op....it's not you its him.

Thanks so much for kind wishes.

The holiday was ok with some nice times, we had the odd hug and slept together once. At times I felt at arms length and at other times still a couple, still a family. Dd met a friend who had a lovely family to chat to and socialise a little with, so that broke it up a little too.

Sometimes I feel as if I'm just tolerated, other times it feels better. He gets very grumpy with Dd and me at times and I don't like it. He's had awful early starts again which aren't helping. Dd is back at school today so some routine may be good. It's strange though, he's so stubborn it's almost as though even if he feels happier, or thinks things are a bit better he would never admit it.

I'm really not sure what will happen in the long run, I'm doing day to day at the moment no expectations really. He was clearly angry when suggesting we leave and he must realise this isn't just going to happen. Maybe I shocked him, maybe he expected me to start arguing about money, houses etc and I did neither. I don't know.

Texts no longer contain kisses at the end, almost a statement I feel as he always did, but I feel a little pathetic typing that. He does however refer to me as usual endearing Nic name a couple of times a day. Silly things but realise how for granted these things were taken by me.

When we got back he kissed Dd yesterday and she said 'mummy wants a kiss too' and he did. She must realise things are different.

I said at the weekend he needs to lighten up a little, as all the humour and light hearted laughs seem to be rationed, and I struggle with that as we could always at least laugh together. I'm not someone who can cope with atmospheres.

Seeing the solicitor certainly armed me with some good advice. I was with her well over an hour and I certainly won't be leaving our home or settling for an uncertain future in that respect.

Who knows.

What I do know is how much the support on here has helped me. I haven't name changed. No point.

Thank you

Morning .
You are right about your daughter . She will have noticed.
Hopefully it will all turn out right for everyone.
Glad the holiday turned out fine .

You don't have to live like this...hoping for little scraps of love.

You deserve more. Call his bluff.

It doesn't sound like he is happy to me. Maybe he thinks he is trying but it seems very half hearted. You can live like this. Hoping for crumbs he is throwing you. I'd continue looking to separate as life is too short. Your DD must be really on edge as well.

mmmmm... I read your post a while back and came back to it.

I find it odd that he states he used Viagogo to print the concert ticket, but Ticketmaster is not linked to Viagogo and you just print it out after Ticketmaster emails it to you or you download it. That sounds super odd. Viagogo is or was a trading platform for tickets already sold, unlike Ticketmaster. They are kind of different things. Sounds like you did smell a rat to me.

Last gig I went to, my friend bought her ticket on Ticketmaster and just used her phone or ipad, whichever it was, at the door of the venue. I printed my ticket out after Ticketmaster emailed it to me.

Viagogo is definitely separate. He is lying to you about that. You can check with Ticketmaster if you like, but someone buying a ticket from there has zero need to use another app or software or any other third party website to print their tickets out.

www.ticketmaster.co.uk/h/print-at-home.html

@Gemma1971 - ticketmaster is very much linked to Viagogo and GetMeIn. If you go to Ticketmaster to buy a ticket and it is a sold out event, you will be redirected to a third party ticket seller through their website.

if OP's partner bought a ticket through, Viagogo, the original seller would be Ticketmaster. I have bought tickets through Viagogo, and the ticket i received is shown as Ticketmaster, and yes, i printed my ticket out through Viagogo, not Ticketmaster so i did need another app to do that!

In any event, the OP and her partner are working things out and trying to move on. Casting doubt on things he has said in the past is really not going to help moving forward is it.

Ah ok, well that's a good sign. I thought she said he had bought it on Ticketmaster but printed it out using Viagogo. Viagogo are resellers, right? So he bought it on Viagogo....

Casting doubt may not help, but if the things people say are not entirely clear, then of course they will be questioned.....

yeah Viagogo are re-sellers so the original seller could have been Ticketmaster, i know this has been the case on the previous occasion i used Viagogo (would never use them again though, paid through the nose)

agreed