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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Thinking of cheating on husband

194 replies

Isthischeating · 07/08/2019 08:14

I’ve nc for this.
We have been married for 7 years and very much love each other with a active sex life but I feel like there’s something missing.
A few week ago I met a man who is also married and we have been chatting which has now turned to sexing and sending pictures that have both of us planning on getting a hotel together. I’ve never cheated on him but this other guy just seems special. It would just be a once off and dh would never find out. I don’t know what to do

OP posts:
DecomposingComposers · 07/08/2019 19:53

I’ve decided not to tell my husband as it will only cos pain and I met this guy though his work so he sees him most days

No chance that OM will tell DH then? I wouldn't be so complacent that this affair will remain hidden forever, particularly as you were silly enough to provide written evidence.

ThatCurlyGirl · 07/08/2019 19:56

Wait he works with your husband?! No way that's too douchey of anyone to be true.

nespressowoo · 07/08/2019 20:00

Your poor DH

AnneKipanki · 07/08/2019 20:05

Step away from this thread now @Isthischeating
You are only going to get more abuse with that bit of information.

Original poster
Isthischeating · 07/08/2019 20:12

I’ve spent all day thinking why and I won’t say it but I think I was trying to hurt my husband for something that happened ages ago not that it makes it any better

OP posts:
Original poster
Isthischeating · 07/08/2019 20:13

i know it’s worse as the know each other well

OP posts:
Coffeeandcherrypie · 07/08/2019 20:18

I don’t think he should be judged as he has a problem marriage and you can’t help how you feel

Ugh you’re a whiney brat and probably a crap lay.

Go and ahead and do it. Hopefully DH will find out and get with someone better than you.

Bumbags · 07/08/2019 20:18

Well done for blocking him.

Concentrate on your marriage and spoil your husband instead of looking for ways to cheat on him.

Dadaist · 07/08/2019 20:25

OMG OP - they know each other?? -every time he sees your DH the OM knows something about your marriage that your DH doesn’t.?? That’s really grim OP. Some fracked up stuff there!!

Everafter1 · 07/08/2019 20:31

Thats another reason to quit this before it gets any further. It would be a worry that he'll come home from work & someone has told him.
Did you meet this man through your husband & did he pursue you?
Did your husband cross the line with another woman?

MirzyMoo · 07/08/2019 20:31

I think you are just an attention seeker, you are now getting the attention you crave from us now your not pursuing your married man Confused

Schwibble · 07/08/2019 20:39

OP you come across as very immature and naive. Is it really worth risking your marriage for a fling with this man? Think of how things will be in a few months time when your DH finds out.

MsDogLady · 07/08/2019 20:40

So you have put your DH in the position of interacting most days with a colleague who has your nude photos and sexual messages? And you say you “love” him?

unknownn · 07/08/2019 20:44

This thread isn't even worth a reply. Praying for your husband and I hope you cheat on him so he can get you out of his life and find somebody who has at least the basics of respect for him.

Original poster
Isthischeating · 07/08/2019 20:56

Iam 100% the guy won’t tell dh and he’s deleted pictures and messages like I have so his wife won’t find out. Both of us have so much to lose by taken this further

OP posts:
DecomposingComposers · 07/08/2019 21:14

Sorry OP but yiu have no way of knowing that's true. He might have told you that he's deleted them but how do you know that's the truth? Maybe he mentioned something to someone at work or maybe one day in the future he'll throw it in your husband's face. That's a terrible thing you've done to your husband.

ThatCurlyGirl · 07/08/2019 21:14

What @MsDogLady said. 100%. Gross.

VikVal · 07/08/2019 21:14

Fuck is wrong with you? Seriously, break from your DH and get some professional help. You're mentally in a bad place right now and everything is going to blow up big time. Stop playing with fire or being a slag, whatever you want to call it and get help because this is not healthy. You have a great marriage life but still want to cheat on your DH? WTF?!?!

AnyFucker · 07/08/2019 21:20

Your pics are probably posted to "Reader,'s Wives" or whatever the equivalent for lowdown sleazebags is these days

Wank fodder for every slippery fingered, sweaty no-mark on the www. That's a lovely cosy anecdote to tell your grandchildren.

GameofPhones · 07/08/2019 21:25

The guy will boast to other men, it can't be kept secret. You would put yourself in his power, he will be able to blackmail you.

readitandwept · 07/08/2019 21:32

Imagine needing a bunch of total strangers, people who mean absolutely fuck all to you, to talk you out of cheating on the person you're supposed to cherish above all others, with his colleague.

That's puts your husband at the bottom of quite a pile of people, OP!

sleepynewmumxo · 07/08/2019 21:33

Coming from someone who has just found out her husband cheated, don't do it. Unless you want to destroy your husband.

WTAFisthis · 07/08/2019 21:38

Don't be a fucking idiot: it's a lifetime of guilt ahead if you do it.

Ginger1982 · 07/08/2019 21:43

Well at least you've seen sense.
But sending dirty pics and sexts to a married man or woman is pretty trashy and classless plus your woeful attempts at explanations just make you sound of pretty low intellect.

I feel for your husband and his wife. You (and he) would be hurting both of them.

Moondancer73 · 07/08/2019 21:47

Plainly your husband deserves better