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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

he wont marry me because im overweight

114 replies

unloved · 19/09/2004 13:19

me and my dp have been together for 6 years and have one child,
he says he love me (but not for my looks) but he wont marry me bacause im so overweight i really dont no what to say to him how can i love somone who is ashasmed of me

OP posts:
Twiglett · 19/09/2004 13:20

message withdrawn

unloved · 19/09/2004 13:22

ho said if i lost weight he would marry me when i met him i was very slim but after dd ive pilled on the weight

OP posts:
Flossam · 19/09/2004 13:22

Complete pig and not someone worth marrying anyway. Surely someone who truely loves you could never be so shallow and hurtful. You poor thing.

Twiglett · 19/09/2004 13:23

message withdrawn

Twiglett · 19/09/2004 13:25

message withdrawn

unloved · 19/09/2004 13:25

it does bother me but not as much as it bothers him i eat cause im sad and sad cause i eat

OP posts:
unloved · 19/09/2004 13:25

id love to marry him but not if he is ashamed of me

OP posts:
KateandtheGirls · 19/09/2004 13:27

Why would you want to marry someone who says that to you? You're good enough to have a child with, but not good enough to marry?

unloved · 19/09/2004 13:28

i wasnt big when he meet me though and we had dd

OP posts:
KateandtheGirls · 19/09/2004 13:28

It shouldn't make any difference.

unloved · 19/09/2004 13:30

he says he looks at other women because im so fat

OP posts:
unloved · 19/09/2004 13:31

and that really hurts

OP posts:
KateandtheGirls · 19/09/2004 13:32

What do you want us to say to you? He's a jerk.

hmb · 19/09/2004 13:33

What a hurful, shallow pig of a man!

Shit a brick, girl, in the end (if we live that long) we all end up old fat and wrinkled like a prune, or old thin and wrinked like a rasin. Shit! It is what we are that should make people love up, looks are transient unimportant nothings.

unloved · 19/09/2004 13:35

i just want to no if u think i should try and lose weight to make him happy

OP posts:
KateandtheGirls · 19/09/2004 13:36

NO!!!!

If you want to do it to make you happy, and/or because of concern about your health, then that's great.

libb · 19/09/2004 13:39

What a git - .

I am overweight by about 2.5 stone but my DP wouldn't dare comment on it (he'd be one to talk anyway?!)

What would happen if you lost the weight? would you really want to spend your life with someone so shallow? Do you think you would have the same feelings for him now he has said this to you? sorry, lots of questions there but weight issues should Never be a factor in a relationship.

Did I say what a git!?! grr!

libb · 19/09/2004 13:40

But what then? once you have lost the weight? it serves no purpose to do for another person.

What is his build like?

cuppy · 19/09/2004 13:41

Definately not!!! LOse weight for YOURSELF if you think it will make you happier , but not for him. He is very very shallow and you probably cant see it cos you love him.
Try this .... imagine a thread on here titled - "he wont marry me cos I'm a brunette" (nothing against brunettes - just a random example) What advice would you give?
His excuse - and it is an excuse - is totally absurd!!!

unloved · 19/09/2004 13:45

he is very muscley and takes steriods, he keeps buyibg me exercise equiptment to hint to me, i no he stll loves me but im just hurt i suppose

OP posts:
KateandtheGirls · 19/09/2004 13:46

You say he still loves you. Sorry, but that isn't what real love is about.

unloved · 19/09/2004 13:48

he said he doesnt want people to say bad things about me because of my weight

OP posts:
Beccarollover · 19/09/2004 13:48

tell him the steroids are making him bald and making his d*ck shrivel and you wont marry him until it grows a bit

sorry but how dare he say something so hurtful

charliecat · 19/09/2004 13:48

What a twat, if you did lose weight, not that youdd have to, there wouldnt be a pullout clause in the vows that if you got to a certain weight he could then divorce you...SOOOOOOO for you!!!!!!

fuzzywuzzy · 19/09/2004 13:52

He doesn't want other people to say bad things about your weight so he's getting in there first??? I certainly am not the same weight I was when dp and I got together (I was 19 when we met), but if dp ever told me to lose weight or some such I'd hit him over the head with the nearest heavy blunt object to hand. Hell he aint no Ben Affleck either....
Mind you if he's taking steroids he needs help himself.

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