he wont marry me because im overweight

[unloved]

me and my dp have been together for 6 years and have one child,
he says he love me (but not for my looks) but he wont marry me bacause im so overweight i really dont no what to say to him how can i love somone who is ashasmed of me

echo Twinkies statement, couldn't agree more.

Show him that you are stronger than he thinks by proving to him that you have a life of your own and you'll soon realise yourself how much happier you feel and what a better life you have.

I too think you need to concentrate on yourself and what you need at the moment. And yes, that includes needing love and wanting a partner - but ALSO means going to college, having a good time with DD, maybe doing something to lose a bit of weight and get fitter IF YOU WANT TO. And maybe thinking a bit about if there's anything else you can do when you're sad instead of eat to make yourself feel loved and cared for. All those cliched things like hot candlelit baths with nice oils, a break with a book, a bit of time on your own or a game with DD...concentrate on YOU and looking after you.

i hope that troll thread wasnt aimed at me because i changed my name

I'm sure it wasn't, I missed it all.

Do you still live in Bedfordshire? fancy that meet up sometime soon?

And try reaching for fruit and veg cut into bits when you are sad - it does work you know. But most of all don;t let him do this to you please please please.

where is the meet up f ??? do you meen the one in watford

bumpxxx

Hi, didn't mean Watford, didn't knwo there was one in Watford actually. Must have missed that. I meant we could organise one for Beds are...

...for beds area... (even)

don't reckon anyone thought you were a troll nic. anyway all that was superseded by another very nasty trolling incident a couple of nights ago (all deleted now tho).

the more I think about it the angrier i get with your p - that it's all power games with him. you and dd don't need someone like that taking up your energy.

What a shallow prat.
I was 9 stone when i got married (12 years ago tomorrow)
I am now (after two lovely children and a spot of ill health) 13 stone.
My dh would not dream of being unkind about my weight, it is not how much you weigh that counts, i know i am heavy and it is a bit depressing (as i look at photos of me then and photos of me now and can see the change) my dh loved me then loves me now and says he would love me if i was twice my current size.
Also being abit on the big side dose not make you unsexy or ugly, are you sure its a weight thing and he is not making excuses because of something else? You deserve better, next time he says he looks at thinner/younger/better looking woman just give him a pitiful look and say something like yes dear but i am sure that if they looked back they would soon lose intrest when they find out what a rude, uncaring, shallow bag of s* you really are.
He will get the message.

Hi - ditto others, lose weight for yourself, as a message to yourself that you're worth looking after - eating fruit & veg, walking as much as you can, whatever and little by little you'll start to feel happier & more confident as well as being more healthy. Personally, I don't agree that having children is a justification for being overweight, but something that can happen easily when as you say you feel sad and this is combined with the stress of looking after kids. maybe this is what you should deal with first- what you can do that's positive when you feel sad - talking to friend/going down pub/gym/taking up running/reaching for pieces of fruit whatever. Then maybe once you feel less sad you can decide if HE'S worth marrying.

Hi unloved, and all,
When my DH met me I was a size 8, after 8 years together and two children(also lots of his lovely cooking),I was a size 18-20. I knew DH didn't find me as physically attractive as when we first met,but he never made any hurtful comments or told me to lose weight.
I started taking gental exercise last year and in May joined a gym and started dieting.I've now lost 2 stone in weight and am down to a size 12.I still want to lose another stone if possible, but I already feel fantastic,more attractive and have bags more energy.
DH is thrilled, he can't believe his luck, and can't keep his hands off me,(which is great motivation to keep to my diet). He is so proud and keeps telling me how slim and attractive I look.

I think if you want to lose weight for yourself then fine, but don't just do it for your DP. If he was the right man, he wouldn't make hurtful comments and would have enough respect for you to marry you.
I reckon you should lose weight for yourself, dump him and find a much nicer bloke

I haven't read the whole post, and have to admit only read the title. My exb who I was with for 12 years and who I thought I would marry and have kids with ( we always talked about it) always said that I was too fat (size 12/14). Anyhow we split up as he wanted a break 'its not you, its me' type thing. I lost weight and got a new man (who is now ddddh), didn't tell exb about it until we were engaged and he was gobsmacked. Have put weight on and off with dh, and he still loves me. I have to say if he says it before you are married he is always going to be like that and that you deserve better, will you leave him if he loses his hair?