Anyone up? Need a quick opinion on whether to let my dp sleep in and be late for work.... urgent!

[fedup1981]

My dp usually has to leave about 7am for work, he's lying in bed asleep. He can sleep through any alarm. I've called him and got an increasingly ratty response four times, and the last time was 6.35 and I said "I'm not calling you again, either get up now or lie there and be late, I don't care"

Normally I get up and start making him a coffee, breakfast and his sandwiches for the day, but he's gotten so used to me doing it (so he just has to roll out of bed and put clothes on) that now he sleeps for another 30-40 minutes while I stand downstairs fretting and trying to wake him up.

I haven't made his breakfast or lunch today because I feel like he's treating me like a mug.

Do I go and wake him up and possibly get a mouthful and him stomping around, or leave him to sleep and be late for work and possibly even more angry?

hmmm, i'd be tempted to leave him, it's not as if you haven't tried is it? If he's late will he be in big trouble?

He's a grown man, he can get himself up! What a cushy life he has living with his second mummy .

what about waking him up and not making breakfast sandwiches etc?

Well if you are confident that it won't cause him to lose his job, i would leave him. Leave the house quick and pretend that you thought he got up last time .

"honey, I don't know why you are mad at me. I told you it was time to get up before I left."

Agree with kittywits. You feel like he's treating you like a mug because he is. Is he incapable of making his own breakfast and lunch? Weird.

I have done what leati said before
I would do that

Just read the OP.

My children do that. They're 7 and 8. Say no more!

Can't leave the house as I have nowhere to go (baby due later this week)

He won't get fired or anything but he will be FURIOUS with me if I let him sleep much longer. But I'm sick of getting a mouthful of abuse when I try to persuade him to come down and eat the bloody food I've made for him.

Rock. Me. Hard place.

Tell him you have one child on the way - you don't need another one.

What will he do when baby arrives?

Stop infantalising him; let him make his own coffee, breakfast and sandwiches. This evening you need to tell him that you are no longer going to do his morning catering service for him as it is interfering with his waking up early for work.

Why are you doing this, ah I know; there's MUG printed on your forehead!. He's taking you for a fool, he knows you will make his breakfast hence his longer and longer sleeping time.

Honestly I have no idea. I feel like I'm in groundhog day repeating that sentence to him over and over about the same issues.

So in your opinions, should I wake him up now so he has just enough time to shove clothes on and race to work? (he'd have to sort his own breakfast/lunch) or should I leave him to sleep and face an almighty row?

Wake him now so he is not late for work.

Then tonight sit him down and explain that he now needs to take responsibility for getting himself up and fed and to work on time.

leave him to sleep and then tell him he'll have to sort his own food from now on

by the way I know how hard that is going to be
my dh used to do what yours is doing, was an absolute bugger to wake up so one day I just didn't other waking him

it was an almighty row but now he has a mobile that has a very loud alarm

Is he up yet?
My alarm goes off at 6.30 so i can come here and have a bit of me time before work, DH's alarm goes off at 6.45 if i don't hear him getting up by 7 i take a cuppa up to him, he then watchs tv in bed til 7.45, showers,dresses and leaves. I do make both our sandwiches about 7.40.
I then go and have my shower at 8 and leave for work at 8.30.
He does say he'll make his sarnies, or he'll go and buy some if we have any cash.
But seeing as i'm up i don't mind just yet.
Probably be different when baby comes along (i'm 18+2)
(My dad makes his the night before)

I'd give him one more chance. How can he tell you off if you've told him to wake so many times?

If he gives you a mouthful of abuse then give him one back! You are not his mother; he is not a child.

ohhh god, dilemma. I have had the discussion with him several times about him lying there expecting me to get him up but giving me abuse when I try.

He just knows that I can't let him sleep in, that my conscience won't let me. I'm so angry about this because he's completely taking advantage of my nature. Why do men take the piss instead of appreciating what they have?????

I really don't need yet another row right now. I'm so fed up of this shit.

No, haven't got him up yet, he's going to be mega late and it'll be "all my fault"

my god. you're his mother and he's a teenager.

leave him and don't accept any abuse. it's HIS responsibility to get himself up and to work. the rest of the world does it without moaniing.

hope he doesn't go too mad and he realises soon that he's gottta get up himself.
Get a louder alarm maybe?
My DH doesn't hear mine on my mobile.
He's got a ferrari one that revs the hell out the gears. Men and their cars. tut.

no, it's not your fault.

get out and go for a walk, sit on a bench somewhere and read a book.

Pretend you've fallen asleep on the sofa.

He has the radio blaring out, and three alarms on his phone which are mega loud. Yes he can and does sleep through them, but what am I supposed to do get a nuclear device set up next to his ear every night? Fact is if someone said to him "when this alarm goes off in the morning you'll get £500" he'd hear the alarm.

Instead, mug here has all the alarms on her side of the bed because the combined sound is bedlam and I have to turn it off. I am his human alarm and he bloody knows it.

Piggy, that's a rather good idea!