Dating Thread 165: The bravest thing you will ever do is love again ❤

[JeSuisPrest]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Appswww.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Is anyone else having trouble with the thread? I’ve just had a load of messages appear in between those I’d already read? Weird

What @FMFL said!! We are all in the same boat trying to figure this dating mind field out.

FMFL thank you. I was worried you all would somehow vote me out and have me evicted. Yes some issues on mumsnet today I think

@Marlboroandmalbec34 I'm pleased for you. Look at how happy @Sunshineandflipflops is. We're not all looking for LTR. Mr B is making you happy. That is all that matters. Mr U is not a LTR or in it for the long haul. We're exclusive. But he is a BF and will never be a partner. It will end and my heart will break for a bit. But someone else will turn up. It is what it is. Go for it.

@Notcoolmum I'm sorry to hear that but yes better to be absolutely certain. There will be someone. Just a matter of time and swiping.

@Marlboroandmalbec34 no judgement from me either but and a hug.

Are you sure you're happier with Mr Big in your life? I can remember being on a date in early April and I went to do a loo update and you were really upset because he might be dtd with someone else. That's over 3 months of anxiety caused by him. If you'd ended it that night you'd have forgotten about him by now.

Haha stealth I remember it well! I had actually introduced him to another women as was trying to be cool 🙈 thankfully he sent interested

@marlboroandmalbec34 I think my date assumed I was constipated I spent so long in the toilet!

Well.

I just had a chat with Mr TDB about our overnight the other day and I said it felt very couple-y (he agreed) and I just can't do couple-y things without actually being a couple. We were never going to be a couple, and I don't want to share, so it's over.

He was very sweet about it, said some lovely things about me and offered to keep in touch. But I need a break from people-ing I think, so I'll bow out of this thread. Good luck to you all! Dating is hard.

Sorry to hear that @MoreNiceCereal . Is it you who doesn't want to be a couple or him? I agree it's hard 😞

He wants a ltr and the possibility of kids in the future. He's younger than me.

I already have DC and will not have any more, ever. I can't give him what he wants.

My head is still fucked up from ex and I thought I could do casual and breezy but I caught the feels with him because he's genuinely great. So it's a few things really.

Oh morenice that sounds hard

@MoreNiceCereal sending you and hugs.

@marlboroandmalbec34 No judgement at all from me - the heart wants what it wants. I think you're a tough cookie and won't take any shit from him. Enjoy it for what it is.

@MoreNiceCereal Sorry to hear your update. I do worry about this as well with MrC - 39 and no kids - me 44 and don't want any (more). Don't stay away too long.

@FMFL Great to hear you've got another iron and date lined up.

@Notcoolmum At least you know now. I remember when I really put off deleting all MrAbs messages/photos/number but doing it was part of the healing process. Distraction is always a good way of moving on as well.

@Sidge Funny you say that - MrStone sent a "Morning gorgeous, how are you doing message?" this morning - I was messaging him more than 3 months ago - we did have a couple of dates and DTD. I've asked if he's sent it to me by mistake . He was the one that said he would never hold hands in public...

@Sunshineandflipflops I can feel a calmness coming from you regarding MrSAS now, like the angst has just gone now that you feel a bit more in control and accepting of things just developing.

Finishing work early and spending the afternoon/night with MrC - we hardly ever get to meet during the week but ex has said he'll keep DD overnight so I'm making the most of it.

@Marlboroandmalbec34 I think keep swiping as didn't MrBig outright lie about being exclusive with you? I guess the difference with @Sunshineandflipflops is that he didn't tell her till he was asked so marginally nicer. Ultimately the heart wants what it wants but keep swiping I think!

No judgement from me marl. I was seeing someone during my divorce, and a few months after my Absolute I ended it. I think I needed a sort of casual thing at that time, to get me through.

NotCool hugs - no contact is the only way.

@notcoolmum that's painful but at least you can draw a line under it now and won't be left wondering.
@MoreNiceCereal so sorry

So I messaged Mr D this morning to check he was still okay for 6pm as we've not messaged for a couple of days and I haven't heard anything yet..... Really not sure what I'll do if he doesn't reply. Babysitters are hard to find and don't want to waste an evening.

@putastrawunderbaby If you got a babysitter (did he know?) and he hasn't texted for 2 days or replied i'd go nuclear and get yourself a cinema ticket/ask pals now if they want to go for dinner. Abysmal date behaviour.

Nice to hear from you too and glad you have managed to patch things up with Mr Wow,

Sorry to those feeling down - not cool cereal
marls of course you're still welcome on the thread and no flaming from me.

Seeing bf tonight, just pondering on when to tell the kids and exh (kids have met him briefly at a group thing as a 'friend')

In other news, despite being on the smitten bench, I still have the anxiety that many others on this thread seem to have with sorting out 'stuff' with ex husbands/partners (divorces/untying finances/properties etc) so have that to look forward to!

Thank you all kindly.

Love the loved up crew just dropping in giving us hope.

I’m having a few days off swiping but only because I have a few new irons.

Mr Quest who is too young, off fab and totes unsuitable but v cute and charming and may make a better FWB if things go sour with Mr Big. No plans to meet but nice chat and he is happy to just stay in contact and meet if/ when I fancy it

Mr Luigi who on paper is perfect but lives quite far away. Trying to organise a date but due to school hols and his kids it’s gonna be 3 weeks

Me Beardy. Having some really good banter. Lives local. Might try and sneak in a lunch date next week.

Mr Quiz. Who wants to take me to a pub quiz which is a favourite thing to do of mine

The issue is my next 3 child free nights I have plans with Mr Big so I will need to give 1 or 2 of them up to see a new iron!

jesuis when’s your night out? And yay for Mr Ca beard 😍

@Marlboroandmalbec34 You've been busy 😂

This was one of the reasons I stopped swiping...I wanted to spend my limited child free time with MrSAS so there was not really any time for anyone else!

I am trying to pack for our holiday but I can't stop sweating...so hot!

@supercali77 still no word from him via POF..... but he could be at work. Really not sure what to do - we are supposed to be meeting 30 mins away so it's not quite like nipping out locally to see if he showed up.

@putastrawunderbaby My opinion? Doesn't matter if he's at work, you 2 organised a date and he's not got in touch. You've organised a sitter. Height of bad manners. He's a f*ckwit. Have fun doing something for yourself x