Is 49 a reasonable age, for your sex life to be over?

[AmIaskingfortoomuch]

Would love some opinions on this. I'm 49. DH is 46. Our sex life is leaving me wanting (under statement). Having been rejected many times, I have stopped initiating. We tend to go 3 weeks, then I get grumpy, he realises he needs to step up....we have sex...and then another 3 weeks goes by. This is the cycle we are caught up in.

We have had "the chat" a gazillion times. Every time we do have sex, he says how much he misses it (and misses me) and promises to change. But change never happens.

This month I have made a conscious effort not to get grumpy when 3 weeks have passed with no sex. We are due to go on a date on Saturday, and by then it will be four weeks without sex. I'm not saying a word. I'm going to see how many weeks he can go without. I might send him a Congrats card if we make 10 weeks.

Anyway, my real question is whether I'm expecting too much, to have a regular sex life at 49? What age do you think is acceptable for it to be all over?

Thanks guys. Will update tomorrow. He's due home in 20 mins.

Yes you are right. It’s a kick in the face. I really hope things work out for you.

And he still hasn't read the messages! Ooft, change that, it's just turned to blue ticks

Porn broke up the relationship between me and my dd’s father. I was 35 and he just didn’t want sex with me. He was more than happy to crack one off (several times a day). Having just had a baby I felt unloved, ugly and worthless. I gritted it out for nearly 2 years and then just cracked. I chucked him out. I can honestly say it was the best decision. He had an issue with seeing me as a woman after I became a mother. In all honesty his lack of sex drive was a frequent issue throughout our relationship.

I discovered that I am still an attractive woman, I have had several encounters and relationships since. I’m now 43 and single by choice. If I had stayed it would have left me an emotional shell. Good luck OP it fucking hurts

Id be gutted if my sex life ended at 49, so that is not a reasonable age! I would feel the same as you OP.

Deep breaths!
Stand your ground, stay calm and focused.

No reply but I think he will just speed home rather than message.

We are 48&50 and no sex would be a deal breaker for us both. At least unless there was a very very good temporary l reason.

Thank you! Should I stay up and confront or go to bed before he arrives?

In fact, fuck it, I am NOT creeping off. Let's see what he has to say.

Keep strong, you can’t force someone to change their behaviour. He will probably promise the earth and have lots of sex in an attempt to save things but in all likelihood you’ll be back in the same position in 6 months.

I think I would stay up, other wise he might try and pretend he didnt see the text(?)
strike while the iron is hot!

I will have to log off when I hear the door, this is my private space x

You’re drunk and angry. He’s sober and probably shocked as hell. No, not now.

you cant back down now or you look as if you are all talk, you have to walk the walk too, have the courage of your convictions etc

Good luck. Get your truth out.

Okay I am staying up...he is due in about5 mins

I'm quite drunk....not the best!

Make a coffee and splash cold water on your face. Try and stay icy calm, don’t shout, or cry. Just wait and see what he says. Then retreat to bed.

try to be calm and tell him how all this makes you feel

Yes Zofloramummy
Icy calm is the way forward, it has more impact.

Omfg I would DIE!!! I can’t wait to hear what he has to say OP. Fucking go you!

Just remember that your feelings are valid and, I don't think, at all disproportionate in light of what you have found today. The wine might make you a bit angrier and might make you lose focus in what you're trying to say, but try to bring yourself back to the facts of his actions/inactions and your feelings in response to that.

Well this is all very dramatic.

Not sure live posting the implosion of your relationship is a great way to go op.

I hope he has a reasonable explanation!!