He did it again

[Ilikesleepinginthedark]

NC.

Sitting here with a swollen black eye. Don't know whether to report as I don't want social services to be involved.

Make sure the police know what he has done, what his friends have done and your bloody mother ought to be swinging FOR you not against you. Shame on her.

People around you will fall into 2 camps, those who get on the bus - the ones who are with you all the way or those who just need to get the fuck out of the way.

His friend told me that DC's dad was defending him that's why he hit me. He heard my DC saying Let Go and I wouldn't so he hit me to defend him.

They all sound like cunts. Report him to the police too. The fact you’ve called the police after he has been violent to you speaks volumes about how much you want to protect your son. He is no longer in the house, nor are yous together, therefore you have taken that step yourself. The fact you have done that would surely be seen as you protecting your son. Assuming you haven’t actually done anything wrong, which even if you were screaming in his face calling him a fucking cunt does not give him the right to then smack you. Unless for whatever reason you are an unfit mother I would like to think that the SS would provide you help, your son does not need protection from you his mother, just his crazy father. Shoe the police the texts so they can see what you have to deal with.

Don’t be scared of SS. They will keep you and DS safe.

Please don’t give him any more contact with DS. Wait till (or if) he takes you to court. You will have SS on your side.

Block the friend but keep or screenshoot the messages.

But I was taking my DC away from him so they wouldn't go out.

There is NO excuse for him hitting you. None. Stop listening to his horrible friend. You know there's no excuse.

But was it bad that I held my DC so they wouldn't go ?

Stay strong op. These are people you need out of your life, with their threats and violence. Don't let them win this time or any time. Your DC need this out of their life too, you don't want your DC growing up like this. Tell the police about the threats and tell SS too. They are behaving so hideously.

What would you say to someone else asking that question?

Report him and take your child(ren). Unless you want this happening to your children too.

I should have taken them away from the situation . I should have let them go but I knew he would take them and go out.

Op, please listen to what you are saying:
I was stopping him taking my dc, so it is Ok for him to assault me.
I said something he didn't like, so it is Ok for him to assault me.
I wasn't available on the phone when he wanted to talk to me, so it is Ok to come and assault me.

No it is never ever OK. There is no reason that he can have that makes it OK. That is a mind set he has talked you into.
Even if you stood and said provocative things to him and shouted in his face, no it is not OK. Hurt ego is not a reason to hit someone.

The only time when it is OK is when you are in physical danger, as self defence. So if you were threatening him with a knife, and he couldn't leave, and defended himself, then MAYBE it would be self defence.

But I held onto the DC so he wouldn't take them away and that's when he hit me.

It doesn't matter that you were holding onto your DC. He never ever has the right the hit you!!! Ever!!! And the fact he did it in front of his children makes the act even worse

He's scum and deserves everything he gets from the police

OP you must, like some of us here, have had safeguarding training? Does what your ex's friend say override that training? Of course not!

Exactly! in front of your DC! this is why you need to get him out of your life. Lots of help for this.

If you were holding on to the DC, that means he hit you just inches away form the DC! Not only putting them, in danger, but showing them that it is OK for a man to hit a woman, and scaring them.

It doens't matter if you were holding Dc, arguing with him or ANYTHING. It is NEVER, I repeat NEVER Ok for him to hit you.

You are making excuses for him. Stop. He assaulted you, because he has an issue with control, or with self control, or with anger. None or those are your fault.

Well his friend told me that if I press charges he would report me to social services for he wellbeing of my DC.

You're already referred to social services. His threats are laughable but they're designed to hurt you. Why won't you block him?

Let his friend try.

You need to tell SS about everything that has gone on. You need their help. He hit you whilst you were holding your child, that’s disgusting

Tell him you are already talking to social services and then block

They ain’t going to listen to that nasty piece of shit.....

Why are you listening to his friend? SS already know about this. You're not thinking clearly. HE hit YOU. There is a medical report, evidence, so his friend can report away. SS aren't daft. They'll have had this all before from mates of abusers.

Please please please report and stop this now. I dithered over a violent partner and then barely survived his next attack ( he strangled me as well as hitting this time. ) I wished I had left after the first time. I don't want to scare you but: Please leave. He may kill you. 16 years on I have an amazing life and my blood still runs cold when I think of how close I came to losing it.