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Original poster

How much porn is okay?

231 replies

wantobeamum · 19/07/2019 15:44

Strange title I know! But seriously, I know my husband is somehow finding the time and the space to be able to watch porn on his phone because embarrassingly we were at his parents house and I had to google something and went to type on his phone and the first thing in the search bar was porn-related so from there felt the urge to look at his history and BAM! I think it's ok for a guy to watch some porn but how much is too much and when does it become not ok?

OP posts:
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pinkunicornsparkles · 20/07/2019 21:15

And more

How much porn is okay?
How much porn is okay?
How much porn is okay?
Leftielefterson · 20/07/2019 21:18

I’m not overly bothered tbh. What I’ve found is that most men lie about watching porn. I’d rather they just admitted it rather than hiding it and lying.

BertrandRussell · 20/07/2019 21:57

@pinkunicornsparkles- that’s great. Do you think the thousands of anonymous women on PornHub all have the same agency? What about all of them?

pinkunicornsparkles · 20/07/2019 22:00

@BertrandRussell like I said before....

My issue is though, not all porn stars are being abused/raped/trafficked. There are some who genuinely love their job, consent to it all, love the money and the fame that comes with it.

For me it's like saying there are women are being raped and abused all over the place, let's stop sex all together.

SimonArch1983 · 20/07/2019 22:01

They have a different agency Wink

pinkunicornsparkles · 20/07/2019 22:01

@BertrandRussell what about all the wives suffering at the hands of their abusive rapist husbands? It's awful. Should we outlaw marriage too? Maybe sex altogether, and only allow ivf.

SimonArch1983 · 20/07/2019 22:09

This reply has been deleted

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BertrandRussell · 20/07/2019 22:10

“@BertrandRussell what about all the wives suffering at the hands of their abusive rapist husbands? It's awful. Should we outlaw marriage too? Maybe sex altogether, and only allow ivf.“

Sorry- is this supposed to make sense?

PicsInRed · 20/07/2019 22:11

DARVO overload.

BertrandRussell · 20/07/2019 22:22

Also- The Richest is not really a reputable source- I could give you a reading list if you like!

lovesmarties · 20/07/2019 23:51

Oh, damn, Pinky. Angela White is one of my all-time faves. Good pick.

pinkunicornsparkles · 21/07/2019 08:01

@BertrandRussell you can't honestly believe that ALL porn stars are abused/trafficked/raped? That was one source, there are many others that state otherwise.

I'm cringing at some of the creepy pro porn comments on here, but I do think its ludicrous to be against ALL porn when there are healthy and reputable examples out there.

Without banning sex all together in all circumstances there will still be trafficking/abuse/rape.

PicsInRed · 21/07/2019 09:12

Without banning sex all together in all circumstances there will still be trafficking/abuse/rape.

The same can be said of traffic offences, but we continue to allow people to drive, whilst street racing is outlawed and driving offenders firmly prosecuted.

Consensual sex isn't comparable to porn production - due to risk and rate of injury - as normal car driving isn't comparable to street racing for the same reasons. Therefore, one is rightly legal and the other is rightly not.

BertrandRussell · 21/07/2019 09:33

“@BertrandRussell you can't honestly believe that ALL porn stars are abused/trafficked/raped?
No, I don’t. I find your use of the word “stars” interesting, though. I’m more concerned about the unnamed rank and file.

pinkunicornsparkles · 21/07/2019 09:34

@PicsInRed thanks for your reply. It makes sense.

I still feel though that maybe the problem is that regulations and policing of porn is not any where near good enough. We need a total overhaul on this. I feel banning porn outright maybe isn't the best solution, as there are cases where it is ethically managed?

pinkunicornsparkles · 21/07/2019 09:41

I find your use of the word “stars” interesting, though. I’m more concerned about the unnamed rank and file.

Can't disagree with this.

I do think there are some porn companies out there who trusty do empower and care greatly about women (check out Erika lust). I had a very difficult up bringing where I just felt total shame and embarrassment towards anything remotely sexual. It really has affected me. Learning that it's ok for women to have god sex and enjoy it was such a big revelation, and did so much for my mental health. A blanket belief that all porn is 100% detrimental and should be outlawed, I can't get on board with.

BertrandRussell · 21/07/2019 09:45

“Learning that it's ok for women to have god sex and enjoy it was such a big revelation”

This is not really the message that most porn conveys. Have you read about the impact that porn is having on the sexual expectations of young people?

pinkunicornsparkles · 21/07/2019 09:59

Have you read about the impact that porn is having on the sexual expectations of young people?

Yes, I have. I think we need a complete overhaul on the type and quality of porn available.

pinkunicornsparkles · 21/07/2019 10:10

Please do check out Erika Lust and for example her #changeporn campaign, if you weren't already aware of it. If you still disagree with all porn under all circumstances I would be genuinely really interested to hear why (I'm not trying to be inflammatory here, this topic is just really of interest and importance)

StreetwiseHercules · 21/07/2019 10:14

“If you still disagree with all porn under all circumstances I would be genuinely really interested to hear why”

Tyranny basically. A desire to force their preferences on others stemming from a desire to impose will and gain a sense validation.

92AP · 21/07/2019 10:14

People saying they have a zero tollerance for it must be really insecure about their relationships or something because it is totally normal to watch porn and there is absolutely nothing wrong with it unless it starts to adversely affect your relationship. Both my DP and myself watch it when we are not around eachother and we have a great sex life so it does not affect us at all. Only you can no how much is too much.

BertrandRussell · 21/07/2019 10:22

“you still disagree with all porn under all circumstances I would be genuinely really interested to hear why ”
If I genuinely thought there was a way of monitoring the porn industry so that no woman was ever coerced, exploited, trafficked, hurt or treated badly in any way then I might think differently. Although I would still have concerns about the way a pornographic sensibility impacts on society in general and young people in particular. But I don’t think there is.

pinkunicornsparkles · 21/07/2019 10:33

I believe that saying to young people 'no porn at all' is just unrealistic, and potentially very harmful to their self esteem and sex lives as they grow up.

I want to educate my children so they know the importance of healthy sexual relationships and its ok for that part of life to be enjoyed. Yes it means restricting the unregulated porn you describe, but there is good quality, empowering porn out there.

BertrandRussell · 21/07/2019 10:49

“I want to educate my children so they know the importance of healthy sexual relationships and its ok for that part of life to be enjoyed”

So do I.

RoarkesMagicCoats · 21/07/2019 10:58

How is porn empowering?