How much porn is okay?

[wantobeamum]

Strange title I know! But seriously, I know my husband is somehow finding the time and the space to be able to watch porn on his phone because embarrassingly we were at his parents house and I had to google something and went to type on his phone and the first thing in the search bar was porn-related so from there felt the urge to look at his history and BAM! I think it's ok for a guy to watch some porn but how much is too much and when does it become not ok?

What you are saying, then, is that most women choose not to employ porn because they are more virtuous than most men.

No, what I’m saying is that being more visual is not an excuse to consume hardcore pornography when the harm caused by this industry is widely documented.

I seriously distrust any man who can ejaculate to footage of women being abused, degraded and often injured. You might want to think about that.

Refusing to engage about the ethics of porn by deflecting to morality is a classic tactic.

Not to mention you’re spouting a pile of misogynistic bollocks when you state that men want sex more than women, and women do nothing more than comply with a man’s needs.

Most men have significantly higher sex drives than most women - so much so that regular (even daily) ejaculation is necessary to reduce tension.I suspect most women fundamentally just don't understand this.

That is nothing but a Western cultural belief.

In the East, it's women who are considered the higher sexed human. "10 parts of desire, 9 to the woman and 1 to the man".

In the East, that's used as an excuse to control and abuse women. In the West, we use the supposed higher sex drive of men to ... control and abuse women. Funny how, no matter what the equation, the sum is always the same.

It's stacked as fuck, always against the interests and safety of women.

Alcohol is a drug.

Crack cocaine is a drug.

I would as vigorously contest any compaign for a ban on the production, marketing and employment of the former, as I would support the campaign for a comprehension ban of the latter.

Any porn that depicts anything other than consensual sex between adults, in the production of which the performers have engaged their services entirely freely, should indeed be absolutely illegal.

Most men have significantly higher sex drives than most women

You've consulted all men and all women then? Because I don't remember you asking me.

I do have a high sex drive and like good sex too. Again, why I dont have sex/ relationships with men who use porn. Its utterly dire and men just dont seem to appreciate this.

I hugely offended one man i had sex with by saying this - he considered himself to be am excellent lover and very good at sex. He really, really wasn't.

Yes, he had a lot of 'technique' and was 'varied' but it was really fucking dull and did nothing for me.

“Any porn that depicts anything other than consensual sex between adults, in the production of which the performers have engaged their services entirely freely, should indeed be absolutely illegal.”

So. How do you know which porn fits these parameters?

you’re spouting a pile of misogynistic bollocks when you state that men want sex more than women

I would have thought this an uncontestable fact, at least when the word 'most' is inserted in front of the words 'men' and 'women'.

Otherwise, it is hard to see why prostitition, the sex industry and pornography have always been, and remain, overwhelmingly aimed at the male market.

Unless, again, you feel women are simply more 'ethical' or 'moral' than men, and that men simply need to be more like women.

Otherwise, it is hard to see why prostitition, the sex industry and pornography have always been, and remain, overwhelmingly aimed at the male market.

Patriarchy (opportunity and means) and cultural shame drives this difference. Not the inherent "betterness and goodness" of women. You can keep your pedestal, thanks.

The, in my view also revolting and exploitative, sex industry aimed at serving Western women is booming in parts of Africa.

I think the thread has been derailed somewhat.......

Just like non-brexiters, the anti-porn brigade think they are 100% right.

Any porn that depicts anything other than consensual sex between adults, in the production of which the performers have engaged their services entirely freely, should indeed be absolutely illegal.

And the award for the most naive statement of the day goes to...

Have you read the screenshots upthread featuring quotes from former female pornstars? Of course not. Then you might actually have to consider the human beings being hurt for your gratification. Payment has fuck all to do with it.

I'm right in my experience and, when it comes to my life, that's all that counts to me.

I think porn is ok until it interferes with your sex life,

So. How do you know which porn fits these parameters?

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adult_film_industry_regulations

I think if you're ok with porn you must be ok with prostitution too and I can't understand that point of view.

Selling womens bodies as commodities is harmful to us and to men esp impressionable young people.

Having your body seriously damaged through sex shouldn't be something you can consent to, esp not for some random mans cheap thrill and the pp who said it's better than being homeless??? If a woman is selling her body so she's not homeless surely that tells you there is a serious problem, that's not something that means it ok!

I discussed this with a group of friends aged 36 to 57 and what was the overwhelming view is that whilst we can live with ‘very occasional’ and not anal, very young, choking, or utterly weird (shitting on etc) what we are not ok with is using it almost as a habit like brushing your teeth. We also said 20 years ago if a bloke was putting on a DVD of this kind in the lounge 4 or 5 times a week you would think you were living with an utter sleaze unless you were keen too. Only 1 of our group uses it reasonably frequently (more than once a month) all of us have seen it. We all felt as well that the emphasis on exploitation can be a bit of a red herring, the big issue for us was that it made us feel like shit , being compared to when no longer necessarily slim and dolled up all the time or ‘up for it’ all the time. We all felt if the woman has great self esteem and no issue with it then that’s fine but it so often isn’t the case

So smarties those regulations will help you determine which women are freely consenting, and which are doing it because they have no other way to feed / house their children, which are reliant on drugs to get through a scene, will they show you the pauses between takes to clean up blood from the injuries these women sustain, the stitches they require, and on and on?

Again, did you read the accounts posted above and just don’t care, or would you rather not know!

Hard eye roll at lovesmarties 'regulations' on wiki.
I'd burst out laughing at the sheer stupidity, if it wasn't so tragic.

I think if you're ok with porn you must be ok with prostitution too and I can't understand that point of view.

That's something of a leap!

I don't ever remember seeing any pornography that involved violence or coercion, and - frankly - cannot understand what pleasure anyone would derive from such 'entertainment'. I wouldn't even know where to find such obscene material. But then, hey-ho, I don't like violent Hollywood films either.

Conflating 'romantic porn' with whatever the hell these women might have been involved in, is to conflate a quiet pint in the local with hours of loud binge-drinking followed by a punch-up in the pub car park.

I don't ever remember seeing any pornography that involved violence or coercion, and - frankly - cannot understand what pleasure anyone would derive from such 'entertainment'. I wouldn't even know where to find such obscene material. But then, hey-ho, I don't like violent Hollywood films either.

romantic porn

Seriously? Wake the fuck up, dude.

I think if you're ok with porn you must be ok with prostitution too and I can't understand that point of view.
*
That's something of a leap!*

How so? What are the differences that make one ok and the other not?

I don't ever remember seeing any pornography that involved violence or coercion,

Really? You don't have to look far for this type of porn anymore, it's freely available for anyone, of any age, to access.

“Any porn that depicts anything other than consensual sex between adults, in the production of which the performers have engaged their services entirely freely, should indeed be absolutely illegal.”

So. How do you know which porn fits these parameters?

Wake the fuck up, dude.

The aggressively anti-porn posters ought to go look for themselves, perhaps. Google 'romantic porn'. I suspect the eyebrows will arch rather less.

What are the differences that make [porn] ok and [prostitution] not?

Speaking for myself, I would derive very little pleasure from paying a prostitute to engage in sex acts with me. Use of porn is a substitute for engaging in sex with my partner, who - regrettably - does not share my sex drive. I have no interest in anything other than 'vanilla' / 'romantic' porn, and certainly would be repulsed by anything that depicted coercion or aggression of any kind. I would agree that anything like this should be suppressed.

I don't know enough about prostitution to express an opinion on whether it should be legal and regulated, or otherwise.

How do you know that the romantic porn you use is ethical?