How much porn is okay?

[wantobeamum]

Strange title I know! But seriously, I know my husband is somehow finding the time and the space to be able to watch porn on his phone because embarrassingly we were at his parents house and I had to google something and went to type on his phone and the first thing in the search bar was porn-related so from there felt the urge to look at his history and BAM! I think it's ok for a guy to watch some porn but how much is too much and when does it become not ok?

Well I brought up that there's rape abuse etc in marriage and questioned whether we should ban marriage

But that apparently didn't make sense

Of course it doesn’t make sense

People are making clothes in sweat shops so we might as well ban clothes isn't comparable because people aren't saying ban sex. It's the way the clothes are made that people are opposed to, not the clothes themselves and is similar with porn.

If we banned relationships, sex and marriage, our species would come to an end for one. Can something of that scale be said for banning porn?

I don't think anyone on the thread has argued that violent porn is ok, would the same argument apply though? Some women like it and get paid well so it's not a problem?

pinkunicornsparkles the thing is rape happens in marriage but you can’t ban marriage because it’s a certificate of a commitment of a relationship. A relationship can’t really be banned. All people have some sort of relationship to people so marriage itself is not the root of rape in a relationship. The abusive person is to blame and is the root of the problem. The person raped or threatened with rape has to step away to be safe. That’s what you do.
Ethical clothes you confront by refusing to buy from someone who abuses people - which looks like working long hours to make clothes which are sold for hundreds of dollars/pounds, but the person making the clothes only gets a dollar a day. There is a difference.

If it isn't interfering with your closeness and sex life then it isn't a problem.
I'd say regular porn use would become a problem, but for us it's everything in moderation. We have been together longer than our 30th anniversary and have always watched, just not an often thing.

“Well I brought up that there's rape abuse etc in marriage and questioned whether we should ban marriage.

But that apparently didn't make sense”
I do struggle to understand this. I think generally speaking marriage is considered an individual and societal good. it’s something that makes the participants stronger and happier. And any marriage that someone is coerced into a bad marriage. For the comparison to work, surely porn would have to be generally a good thing with a few bad bits, rather than generally a bad thing with a few potential good bits....

@paramicha I think that's right. If your DP is ready willing and able to do what you want when you want it in bed then you need not be concerned about their use of porn. It only becomes an issue if it affects their desire or ability to satisfy you. I have watched it with my DW in the past but our sex life is good so I don't feel it would add anything nowadays. I still watch it alone sometimes.