How much porn is okay?

[wantobeamum]

Strange title I know! But seriously, I know my husband is somehow finding the time and the space to be able to watch porn on his phone because embarrassingly we were at his parents house and I had to google something and went to type on his phone and the first thing in the search bar was porn-related so from there felt the urge to look at his history and BAM! I think it's ok for a guy to watch some porn but how much is too much and when does it become not ok?

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Not OK for me. My fiance doesn't watch it and even when he was single he rarely watched it. We have read a lot of stuff about porn and discussed issues around it and he is disgusted by it.

If hes turning down sex with you to watch porn, or using porn more frequently than you have sex thats would be an issue for me.

Most men have significantly higher sex drives than most women - so much so that regular (even daily) ejaculation is necessary to reduce tension. I suspect most women fundamentally just don't understand this.

If girlfriends and wives don't want to 'step up', sexually, and engage in coitus with their partners on a daily basis, then maybe they just need to look the other way while their nale partners occasionally use porn to relieve themselves of sexual tension.

Just like anything in life, the best approach is one of 'moderation in all things'. Too much use of porn, and/or the wrong kind of porn, is certainly bad - just like too much food, and/or the wrong kind of food.

There is no such thing as ethical porn.

@lovesmarties that's a huge load of bollocks. Men do not NEED to ejaculate regularly at all. Sex is not a need and no one is entitled to it and no one is required to "step up" to help out their partner. Do you understand the concept of consent? No one should ever feel they have to do anything.

My usage varies. If it stops him doing other stuff that he would normally do, that is when it becomes a problem. If he is just watching it at night whike you are watching Netflix or on mumsnet then not an issue.

"that's a huge load of bollocks. Men do not NEED to ejaculate regularly at all."

Said a female, or a male with a low sex drive. (MAybe, in a moment, a man will come by and deny the existence of pre-menstrual tension.)

Sex is not a need and no one is entitled to it and no one is required to "step up" to help out their partner. Do you understand the concept of consent? No one should ever feel they have to do anything.

Precisely. Men have the avenue of porn use, to help regulate the mismatch in male-female sex drives.

If girlfriends and wives don't want to 'step up', sexually, and engage in coitus with their partners on a daily basis, then maybe they just need to look the other way while their nale partners occasionally use porn to relieve themselves of sexual tension

If I responded to this as I wish to, I’m sure I’d be deleted.

One can masturbate without porn, is this something you’re aware of?

No one needs porn, even if they need to masturbate.

I was physically and sexually assaulted and abused by a former partner addicted to porn. Burst eardrum, broken bones, strangled, spat on, raped. Please don’t tell me porn is a harmless little dalliance when the harm it causes comes nowhere near you.

So are you saying that men cannot
masturbate without watching porn? How sad for them. Another excellent reason why it’s better to be a woman!

Men are generally more 'visual' creatures than women. Porn therefore facilitates male arousal and masturbation. That some men misuse porn, is no more a reason for banning it, than the fact that some people misuse chocolate or alcohol is a reason to ban those things.

The underlying false premise in much of this discussion is that men should simply be more like women. Not doable.

Great! How do I become one?

Men are generally more 'visual' creatures than women

Pull the other one, it’s got bells on.

This is just a standard excuse for engaging in exploitative, misogynistic behaviour.

"I hate the thought of my son when hes older seeing porn and thinking thats how sex should be rather than it being about love"

Imagine never having sex because you've never found (romantic) love

And such a pity for all those pre-film era men who had to rely on a still photograph of a scantily clad woman rather than increasingly hardcore videos of women being abused for their gratification. How awful that they were never able to ejaculate alone.

“The underlying false premise in much of this discussion is that men should simply be more like women. Not doable.”
No. The whole point is that porn frequently involves trafficked and /or exploited women who are badly treated and are simply money making machines for the porn industry. It’s not about morality. It’s about human rights.

Zero prob is also achievable for a decent man who understands about exploitation and does not want to get his rocks off watching trafficked and exploited women being sexually abused for the profit of pirographers.

THIS.

Today's porn isn't the porn of the past. What used to be "hardcore", violent, damaging to the woman's body, even just downright degrading, is now mainstream.

Funnily enough, there isn't a lot of mainstream degradation porn featuring the degradation of heterosexual men. Just women. 🤔

I caught the end of that documentary about porn the other day, one girl stated that she had to take a month off on doctors orders as her cervix was seriously lacerated and her bladder damaged by the extremely painful (her words) sex she had to have as part of her job.

She appeared altered and to be on drugs or medication of some kind.

To summarise, she was altered and had internal organ damage.

Isn't that enough to draw the line at watching what used to be hardcore porn?

This is just a standard excuse for engaging in exploitative, misogynistic behaviour.

What you are saying, then, is that most women choose not to employ porn because they are more virtuous than most men.

Again, we are back to the false premise that men simply need to be more like women.

@lovesmarties Porn and masturbation are two completely different things! Masturbation doesn't hurt anyone. Porn has many victims.

The underlying false premise in much of this discussion is that men should simply be more like women. Not doable.

You talk as if porn has been available to men since the dawn of time. It hasn't. If we're talking about videos then it has only been around for a few decades - even less for the extreme, body-damaging porn that is easily available today. How do you think men managed for the previous thousands of years? Using porn is a learnt behaviour not a biological need.