Dating thread 163: The best response to someone leaving the door ajar is to shut it for them

[Ginmel]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Woah! No new pet updates is much much worse than no loo update.

I quite like pet names but not the cringe ones like babe or hun and certainly not when messaging. MrTall calls me sweetheart or peaches. We've got to know other and been on 3 dates though. Hate these blokes that start messaging by saying hey, babe you're hot! That's just shit and lazy

Hi there, hoping you can help me - I have lurked and posted before under a different name.

I have recently become exclusive with Mr Smiles after just five dates, sounds quick but we packed a lot into those dates! We met on Match and he is great BUT he lives about 50 miles away and we see each other just once a week. Because I like him so much, I don't want to appear needy by telling him I want to see more of him...worried that this distance isn't sustainable.

I did date about 15 men over three months via Tinder and Match and Mr Smiles is the first guy I have truly fallen for. So do I play it cool and see him once a week, tell him how I feel, or should I just end it before I completely fall for him? Thanks for any advice!

@Lovemusic33 sounds like more trouble than he is worth.

Date with Mr Travel went well although he couldn't come home and shag me despite a subtle offer. Will persevere for the time being and keep on with other dates in the meantime. We kissed but only as I had one foot on the bus home. Wonder if he is a bit shy.

@Splendidsun being far apart is not necessarily a dealbreaker as long as you are both willing to put effort in. Is the once a week a short meeting or can you make it last longer? Does he message and call in the week?

Hi Elecktra, thanks for response ... we message a lot and speak every couple of days.

I just know if he was in the same town it would be so cool to meet up for quick
Lunch ....chat face to face ... part of me thinks because he is so bloody gorgeous that he could easily meet someone nearer to him.

He was only on match for a couple of weeks when he met me ... he suggested going exclusive. Hmmm I think I just need to remain cool for now I am not naturally cool ....

@Splendidsun the whole point is to fall for someone but only if its workable! If the distance is going to be an issue then surely it's better to find out? Maybe give it a couple more weeks if you're feeling uncertain and then say upfront- I think if this is going to work for me personally I'd like to see if we can see each other a bit more than once a week. I dont like the term 'needy' being cast in a negative light. You have needs. You have a barometer for what youd like in a relationship. As long as it's not done manipulatively, and upfront, theres nothing wrong with saying....this is what I want out of a relationship....see how he feels?

A guy on fab just said 'hello my little croissant' What a weird intro.

And delete.

I'm not French in case anyone is wondering.

Croissant now there's a pet name you don't hear every day

It’s the ‘little’ I don’t like there - patronising - big fat yummy croissant I could get on board with!

What a proud moment in my OLD life @shitwithsugaron 😂😂

Fortunately, kermit. Personally I'm more of the baguette type 🤣

😂 @CassettesAreCool

@Ginmel would you have preferred ah you sexy baguette?? Blokes - who are they trying to impress with their shit lines??

I've gone without sex now for several weeks and I think croissant would probably work at this point

@supercali77 🤣🤣 oh dear

supercali but the flakes would make such a mess - best to stick with the vibrator.

@Ginmel

Tell me I haven’t just made a rookie error. Chatting with Mr NHS tonight who is frankly hot looking at his pictures...and it descends into pure filth pretty quickly...I won’t elaborate too much but when all over I got a message saying Thanks ... and not heard from him since! Has he fallen asleep or has the wife walked in or something ...we are hoping to meet this week so fingers crossed for the former...I think?? I just wasn’t expecting radio silence after a particularly steamy exchange! Is this what I should set the bar at going forward...

No pictures were exchanged, by the way !

Frankly the croissant seems to be the best option...at least you can be sure it’ll still be there in the morning.

Reckon he’s fallen asleep.

So, I’m completely new to this and think I’m messing it up... chatted to this guy on Bumble before deleting the app as I was a bit overwhelmed. We continued to message on WhatsApp a lot. Met for first date, he came to my town, had a lovely time and a slightly awkward but lovely kiss. Went on second date two weeks later, I went to his town, had dinner and drinks, held hands and did some very exciting not-awkward kissing. Vague mentions all evening of things we could do together. A few messages exchanged today but a lot fewer than has become usual. Isn’t it too forward of me to ask about a third date? I’m crazily busy at the moment so need to plan, but I don’t want to look pushy. I feel about 16, which is both a good and bad thing!

@NotAProperGrownUp personally I don’t think it looks pushy at all for you to ask about a third date.

placemarking

Message and suggest a third date ... I have learnt that simply being honest and straightforward is best.

If he isn't keen at least you know but from the sounds of it all is good!

I overthink things which led to one evening when I thought I was going insane as Mr Smiles had not responded .. you can read my thread ... spoiler there is a happy ending!