Dating thread 163: The best response to someone leaving the door ajar is to shut it for them

[Ginmel]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Fucking hell, these fucking bastard men! (apologies to the guys on this thread who are NOT like that!)

My ex never did anything like affairs but he is being an absolute wanker about looking after our children and I am spending a fortune on babysitters. I am supposed to be going out tomorrow night and he has just denied all knowledge of agreeing to help so I might have to cancel. He would rather spite me than spend time with his children.

Apologies for the swearing but I am so angry with these awful men.

There are some bastards out there 😡 I had a couple of future fakers ... one of whom harrassed me when I ended it so I had to report him to the police ...

Cath I recommend Fab for what you want ... I actually found my lovely man on there and we're exclusive, coming up to 14 weeks now. So you never know what you'll find, and where!

Savoretti 'I don't do drama' = 'I want to do what the fuck I like, and for you not to make a fuss about it' ...

Why didn't anyone warn me!!!!!!!!!! I signed up for FabSwingers. OMG - so many dicks. Far more dicks than I ever needed to see! Why does anyone think sending me a picture of their dick would be a good thing??

I am actually blushing!

I think I need to pull up my big girl panties and take a deep breath and then start trying to find if any of the replies were from anyone who hasn't got their dick out!

Yep I have a fucking awful stbxh too! Wankers!!!!!!

Woke up this morning feeling sad. Yes I had so much fun at the weekend BUT really I just want to fall for someone and have them reciprocate.

I have had a tiny swipe but not feeling it. Its been so long since I felt a pull to someone other than Mr Big.

The ups and downs of OLD. 5some saturdays and sad depressed Mondays 😂

Cath haha its an eye opener. I wrote in my profile that all messages must have a face pic and dick pics would be deleted. I follow my rule and delete straight away. Even if someone has a beautiful dick I would want to know they could at least read my profile

@shitwithsugaron I'm not but not far away from there. She said the same and also thought he was with someone else during me. He cheated whilst she was pregnant.

Just proves how many horrific men there are out there

My word @JeSuisPrest that's horrific. You know this one told me his wife had removed her profile picture on FB of the two of them out of respect for me. Turned out she done it because she'd been told he was seeing someone else. Apparently I ruined his sons life because I asked is wife if they were separated. I'm a nut case causing troubles.

Although he denied knowing me at first to her, then it was just messages. Then it was just sex. After I sent her proof of course

These men are absolute vile creatures. It's all the lies, manipulation, controlling behaviour that makes me sick.

Love bombed, future faked me. Told me to give him a few months and things would get better and we could live a much better life. Hated me going out, accused me of cheating. Watching my Instagram like hawk and made me delete people from it if he didn't like their comments. Absolute full blown narcissist

Also cath pay for membership. It’s teally cheap and the messaging is v confusing if you don’t pay as it won’t show email threads - enjoy

You'll get used to it after awhile @Cath2907 Here a cock, there a cock, everywhere a cock cock

In my experience the choice profile pic became one of the really fast ways to delete someone's profile. If it was a cock pic, I deleted the email without opening it..

Even if someone has a beautiful dick I would want to know they could at least read my profile

@Marlboroandmalbec34 Is there such a thing..?

I mean, I'm quite fold of MrSAS's but...

I guess I will learn fast..... :)

The problem with this @Marlboroandmalbec34 is that whilst you are still with him or investing (hope) in him. You'll never really have the motivation to find someone better. Because you are allowing him to pull you back in and be the fallback girl for him. Whilst you allow this hold over you, you aren't fully wanting to find the right person for you x

Sorry to hear you are feeling great way marls. I did wonder if you might.

I've been reading a lot about NC since my break up. And it is really about letting go of the hope. Until you do that you can't move on.

It will be 4 weeks of NC this week for me. With one small blip at the beginning. And it has honestly helped me regain control and self respect. I literally started by counting each hour.

I had a second date with Mr Bants last night. All went well and he is currently looking at hotels for next weekend! 🙈😂

Hope you feel better as the day goes on. Perhaps you could reduce texting with him as a start?

Oh I’ve just seen on active board Lovemusic33 is in hospital having surgery

@PrettyPretty Oh, is she ok?

Oh my goodness...Mr Tall's mother is in hospital and they've just lost her after a stroke in her garden. What on earth do I do? What's the etiquette?

Oh lifegoes you are right! I need to read the book don’t I? I am quite sure I wouldn’t actually want him if he wanted me. He is great but defo not I would want in a partner.

notcool I think I am going to start voice clipping instead. I have been practicing today with friends who I usually WHatsApp. They are very amused. I hope it will stop me getting so into the message tennis with him. I stand by what I said yesterday. It’s not him I like it’s his WA persona!

Hoping love is ok!!!

kermit sorry how long have you been seeing him?

If anyone wants to post nice message for @Lovemusic33 I'm sure she'd appreciate it. What shit luck she's had lately

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/general_health/3626292-Anyone-awake-Severe-abdominal-pain?watched=1&msgid=88220777#88220777

@Marlboroandmalbec34 we've been messaging/seeing each other for nearly 3 weeks...

I don’t know kermit I am crap at stuff like this. Maybe send a message that your sorry, thinking of him and you are there if he needs to talk etc!

Cath make sure you set your filters very strictly. As PP have said, delete (and block!) any messengers that send you pictures of male appendages (what is that about?)

There are a lot of idiots on Fab, but also a lot of respectful guys that can hold a conversation, and treat you correctly. I recommend you read verifications.

I've sent...I'm so very sorry to hear that. I'm here if and when you need me and sending hugs sweetheart ❤️

I think I'm one of the first people he's told

Even if you just download it and scan a few chapters. From my past experiences in these situations that's exactly what it is. You just want them to want you! It's like you feel they are the only person that can make you feel wanted/special. Because that's probably one of insecurities they are filling/giving us some form of validation.

We forget all the low points, red flags in chase of that one moment of high. Where everything feels great and feel wanted.

Yet these are the same men that take it away, they make us feel like shit, they make us doubt everything. We feel anxious worried about saying or doing something wrong in case we push them away.

It's only after you come out of it, do you realise all of this and how much more you are actually worth. That you are allowing someone else to control your life. All for those small moments of happiness.

It's mental what we put ourselves through @Marlboroandmalbec34 I do fully know what you are going through and it's awful to sit and watch someone as amazing as you tolerate this. I know the downside to this and believe me it very rarely ends well. The longer it goes on the more painful it becomes.

Ohh poor LoveMusic Just read her thread.. Hope she is ok