"Hilarious" things narcissists have said

[EvilHerbivore]

It's 5 years today since I last spoke to my mother and just sat thinking about the reasons why and how they'd almost be funny if they weren't so sad

For example, when I told my mother I was pregnant with DS1 her response was 'why didn't you ask me?' - just for background I didn't live with her or expect her to do any childcare or pay for anything, had no real impact on her life whatsoever, she just couldn't believe I hadn't asked her permission first

I could probably do a whole thread of these on my own but anyone else got any corkers?

Oh, and another gem from DM.

DM, ‘you know we’re always here if you need us.’

Me, ‘but you’re not are you. When my life was falling apart, I was losing my eyesight, while leaving an abusive violent man and had nobody to help, you pretty much abandoned me.’

DM, ‘it was too upsetting for me love. I couldn’t think about it because it upset me too much.’

When DD1, who was 4, almost 5, years old at the time, was rushed to hospital in an ambulance on blue and two's with suspected meningitis and was extremely poorly. My NPD mother wailed down the phone at me about how awful it was for her (My mother not DD1) and she didn't know what she was going to do or how she would cope with DD1 being so poorly.

Bearing in mind I had DD2 ,who was barely a toddler, with me and I asked mother if she would come and take care of DD2 while I concentrated on DD1 while waiting for DH to get to the hospital from work. She said no as she had to go do the food shop!
DD1 was in hospital for almost 2 weeks and luckily it turned out not to be meningitis but severe sepsis stemming from several infections she had. It took DD1 over a year to feel recover and to put weight back on, and 5 months of half days at school reception which she had not long before started full time at.

When telling my mother I was pregnant with DD1, her first grandchild, she screamed down the phone at me about how stupid I was to get pregnant! What will her friends think! and that I had ruined her life. I was 27 years old, married for 4.5 years and been with DH for 10 years, in a good, secure job with a house we owned outright and no debt. She put the phone down on me and didn't speak to me for 2 weeks.

Once screamed down the phone at me because I got a time wrong on a day where she was going to see DD1 in a show. DD had a whole weekend of matinee and evening shows and I got confused. According to her I was trying to make her look stupid by giving her the wrong time. She could have looked at her ticket and I told her that to which she told me to fuck off. I put the phone down on her and have not spoken to the nasty bitch for 5 years.

There are so, so, so many more instances of her narcissism and her narcissistic rage. She is a nasty piece of work as is my brother and my father is not much better. Best thing I ever did was to remove them from my life.

After some fairly serious misunderstanding at work, leading her to be wrongly investigated for a professional mistake, my sister received an unreserved personal apology from the Head of her service, endorsed by the relevant Ministerial office. Our mother telephoned me to tell me this, as it had been a worrying time for all of us, with my sister's career potentially on the line. DM said that it was all very well, but why hadn't she had a letter or at least a phone call from the Minister as she had been very upset and nobody was writing to her to acknowledge that...

After a miscarriage, someone who had been trying to fall pregnant for a couple of months said to me "at least you know you can have kids" in a tone I'd only expect if I had been bragging about my fertility. I had told them what happened, devastated and crying. But no sympathy or empathy. Just wow.

During Christmas lunch: 'when you were a little girl you took so long to learn how to walk that people thought you were a dog or something when we went to the park'

'You were a horrid little red frog when you were born'

My mother is a vicar and has her own church.

How terrifying given your description of her.

When I tried on my wedding dress, and mentioned that the hem needed fixing since it had fallen down and looked unsightly. "DM" commented " Oh don't bother getting that fixed, nobody is going to be looking at YOU " !

My son was diagnosed with a brain injury. My mother told me that I shouldn’t tell anyone, he would grow out of it, what would people think, I’d always been looking for something to be wrong with him (because I kept taking him to the docs when he fitted and fell over) and I’d “got him diagnosed” for attention.

When I split up with my ex, and was devastated, she said it was too upsetting for her to talk to me about it so don’t bother trying. Cheers mum.

She is an absolute weapons grade narc and the only thing she cares about is how she comes across. She can not tolerate ANY embarrassment at all and if she’s ever wrong footed/embarrassed she releases a nuclear rage. I am 50 and I still have nightmares about her.

I have a sibling with a major MH issue and she actively encouraged him to run for political office on the basis that it would be “power”. No thought whatsoever to the level of resilience it takes to be a public persona. He has attempted suicide previously and the very last thing he needs is to be open for public scrutiny.

I asked my M why she hadn't paid any attention to her great neices and nephews (i.e. my cousins' DC) being born.

She said it was too hurtful given that she'd never be a grandmother.

I have an adopted DS. But apparently he doesn't count.

My mother the narc cheerfully rewrites history too, when it suits her.
“I can’t understand why your teeth are so awful, they were lovely when you were a child.” No. No they weren’t. Our dentist was a friend of my father’s from college and I remember witnessing him talking sternly to him and saying “Gerry, they’re not good. They’re as bad as I’ve ever seen.” I was 7, it was the first time he’d seen me and we had changed dentist because the previous one was “mad on taking out teeth.” I’d had 6 removed. But no, according to my mother it was fine.

Ex h used to say that everyone thought I was the 'bad one' in the breakup as 'people respect me', 'People know what a good person I am'.
Nothing to do with him shagging other women? No. All me because he was respected.

I got pregnant after a late miscarriage by surprise and due date was just after my friends wedding. Her response was 'well what about my wedding, could you not have waited'.
DS was born 5 weeks early but didn't go to the wedding anyway

"I'm not really sure why he picked you to marry, but at least you managed to get the ring on your finger."

My mother, literally the morning of my wedding.

She's such a cunt that I honestly just laugh at her these days (and keep many miles between us.)

Not mine, mercifully. OH on receiving his degree results (first member of his family to go to university) "mum I've got my degree"
Mum: "oh good, I saw Mrs Thing in the library this morning, did I tell you?"

I had a really bad ski accident in French. I was rushed by emergency ambulance to an A&E hospital and then transported to a specialist neurology hospital. I was on my own in France, had suffered a stroke and couldn’t walk (completely lost the use of my right side).

The friends who I was skiing with were now 2 hours away in the ski resort.

I phoned my mum to tell her what had happened and I needed her help. She said she couldn’t visit as she had Badminton on a Monday.

I spent 3 weeks in hospital on my own and my insurance company flew a nurse over to help me home. After another week in a British hospital my mum came to visit and still tells everyone how wonderful she was dropping everything to look after me.

Not sure why I would be so disappointed - she was never there for me as a child.

This was the final nail in the coffin for me and I hardly speak to her now. TBH the relief is immense.

Walking out of a restaurant with a group of friends, one of which had mentioned that her latest date hadn't replied to her text from a few hours ago, no one thought much of it.

Me, walking a few steps behind her started whistling a 'happy' tune. She whipped around and started screaming, how could I be so insensitive. I don't need to rub my perfect life in her face like that by whistling a happy tune. She's having a really hard time and doesn't need to hear things like that right now!

Mind boggling. Got rid of her shortly after.

These narc mother ones are horrendous

I dumped a vile ex-coke head ex years ago (he'd moved on to weed by that point). When I ended it he messaged me saying 'Because of you I'm going back on the coke and am praying that my life will be mercifully short'. All my fault, nothing to do with the fact he was a cheating twat

Wow, I thought my dad was a piece of work but some of these are absolutely shocking. to you all

My exH was sent on a DV perpetrator course for violently grabbing and shaking me, leaving a huge hand print size bruise on my arm (he also gave our 2 year old DS a black eye as he lunged for me)

He reported back after completing the course that he didn't think he should have to be on it as he 'wasnt as bad as the ones who strangled their wives'

🙄

I actually think he's a psychopath (end stage narc) and thank god we all escaped.

I am reading this with my jaw clanging open...

I hope that MNetters who have experienced such horrors and total lack of support are living happy contented lives

for all of you...it's so bloody sad- some people should not be allowed to form relationships/be a parent etc etc

A friend was diagnosed with terminal lung cancer. She was single and her family lived a couple hundred miles away. They didn’t bother to visit her but kept asking her if she’d made a will and made sure her affairs were in order. She passed away and only her brother came to the funeral. Then when her house was sold and it was time to divide up the contents and the rest of her possessions they all flew in to make sure they got what they wanted. She was a lovely woman too.

One of my sister’s neighbours is a proper bona fide diagnosed narc, quite open about her personality disorder, just drops it in to the list of all the other stuff that’s wrong with her and hopes people will be sympathetic.

Anyway she had a shared driveway. Driveway-sharing neighbour’s husband died, and they asked if the drive could be totally clear for the morning of the funeral for the Last Visit etc. All fine. But then loon neighbour refused to speak to bereaved neighbour FOR YEARS because she had only thanked her verbally and not in writing with a little card, for clearing the driveway. Stunning.

My DC were young, I was having really bad panic attacks and seeing a therapist. Every day was a struggle but I carried on doing my best. My DM (tearfully) would tell me to pull myself together and that I was ruining my children's lives and ruining her life as she had enough on her plate without having to to think about me and DC and that I should try being her and see how much worse her life was!
She also told me my OH (we were having problems and temporarily separated) must have found someone 'better looking' than me at work and that it was only a matter of time and was surprised it had took so long.
I can laugh now. Was heartbroken at the time.

@EvilHerbivore What the fuck?!?! Please tell me what you said in response to this?! Also same question to @frasersmummy

My mother poking me in the back throughput my grandmothers funeral telling me to stop making a show of myself ....apparently it's not natural behaviour to cry at a loved ones funeral......she's an absolute twat

My Brother during a phone call referred to my ‘other family’. Had to stop for a moment to think what he meant and then realised he was talking about DH and my DC.

He owes me 30k. Said when it came up that if he had it he wouldn’t give it to me in one go as he could make the money work for him better.

So when he told me to fuck off last year I took him at his word. Skint but worth every penny.