Dating thread 162: (Don't wanna be) All by myself...

[Sunshineandflipflops]

The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

@LooUpdate I would not take the YouTube advice and pull back, or he might think that you are not interested. I think the advice you have received on here about telling him it is his turn to organise something is the best way forward.

AverageGuy sounds like a good outfit choice, good luck 👍
Sidge great news on MrEagle
Savoretti good luck on the dates, definitely the way to move on and great that you know what you deserve

LooUpdate so not a social animal and therefore not used to being the one taking the initiative and doing the organising.
Clearly you both like each other, so take the pressure off and say that you don't care what you do but it'd be nice if he took the lead so you know he's interested.
He's perhaps just nervous about suggesting something you won't like or is just out of the habit so it doesn't even cross his mind. If he's told his family then he likes you
Maybe you organise the next date so you can talk about it in person, it might become a bigger deal than it is by text.

@LooUpdate Actually when you describe it as the spark of your life, have great contact otherwise, with a bloke you can see has nerves/anxiety, pulling back might be shooting yourself in the foot. Does he know you like him this much ? Is he getting less nervous over time ?

LooUpdate I agree with Ant330, give him a couple of days of availability and tell him you would like him to organise.

Either he's lazy, or terrified of picking the wrong thing/place and messing things up. Given how nervous you said he was, the latter seems possible

If he doesn't step up, then you have your answer at least?

looupdate pulling back - unless you want to pull back - is shit advice. It’s not a game. Be open, honest and straightforward is my motto, because that’s what I want in a partner after all

I have just googled Mr Sailor out of curiosity as he got in touch and is suggesting we meet next week. It turns out he is 7 years older than he says on POF. He has registered his own business and of course you have to give you date of birth for Companies House - silly man! I am not sure how I feel about him now. Is this a red flag or would you regard it as a minor vanity issue?

No change my end other than to be more smitten each time we go out. Seen each other every day since Sat and not driving each other nuts yet 🤣
Went out for dinner last night and then she stayed over last night. We've managed to sync our childfree nights which helps enormously.
And she didn't seem to mind me chatting to my ex on the phone this morning, nor the fact that I spent most of the night tossing and turning worrying about my son who's being bullied at school, and apparently snoring loudly inbetween 🤣
I think she's a keeper!

@LilyRose88 for me it wouldn’t be a dealbreaker (especially if you haven’t yet met) as I did the same on Tinder and Bumble purely to open up my potential matches.

If I remember you’re dating guys in their late 40s and 50s? If so maybe he’s trying to avoid popping up in searches for much older ladies? I’d give him the benefit of the doubt until you meet - I was honest with my dates and told them I wasn’t actually the age on my profile but 5 years older. None were bothered.

@Ant330 sounds perfect 😍

MrNoName doesn’t snore. I only snore if my blood sugar is low, which is apparently quite common in diabetics.

I only snore when I lie on my back so I've just told her to give me a shove next time, that will be an improvement on the kicks, knees and elbows I used to get 🤣

@Sidge his POF profile says 59 but according to Companies House he is 66.

@LilyRose88 ahh that’s quite a difference then.

lily the awkward thing is you now know he lied but he doesn’t know you know or how you found out. What do you think of him aside from this?

@LilyRose88 I hope I don't swipe on your ex then! 😂 I've abandoned Tinder anyway for now and set up a Bumble profile again, taking all the lovely, helpful comments from Ant330 and HairyArsedMan on board. Three matches currently: one says he's pulling out of dating (fair enough, even if not true, he's being polite); one sends the bare minimum of chat so I'm not working too hard; the third so far seems normal, and is local and younger than me, educated, good job etc etc, but not free this weekend... Hands off, @LilyRose88!!!😂

Cassettes I haven't met him yet but I would like to. Actually if he had said that he was 66 I probably wouldn't have replied to his message, so there is some method to his madness. .

@NestOfSwipers my ex is an absolute player according to my eldest daughter> He has one girlfriend he met on OLD but is still swiping on Tinder and meeting other women. I am not on Bumble, so I don't know whether he is on it. He lives in the same county as me, probably quite close to you actually, and you will definitely have seen his profile. His current regular girlfriend lives in the same county but further west along the coast from me, and slightly inland. It is a well-known town/city beginning with Ch. Happy to give you more info by PM, if only to save you being played by him.

@Ant330 Sorry to hear about your son. I work in anti-bullying so happy to help if I can - you can always PM me.

@LilyRose88 OK, got the location but I don't tend to favour it when OLDing for some reason! Please pm me. You'd also want to avoid my ex, but I've not seen him on any sites yet.

Also @Ant330 how do you manage to see her every day when you both have kids? Just interested as i'm struggling with this!

Hey everyone
Just checking in. I don’t snore but Mr Big reckons I fidget and make weird noises.
Threads moving a bit fast to keep up but hope everyone is ok.
ant hope your son is ok!

Just had a awful experience, won’t post too much details as triggering maybe.

Mr No hair kept texting asking if he could pop over for a coffee as he’s working in the area, I have been unwell and told him I was ill, he asked me if I needed anything and was being quite sweet, I told him I just wanted to be alone but he kept pestering to come and see me. I eventually stopped messaging him but he turned up at my house. I stupidly let him in for a coffee and at first all seemed well. I’m pretty unwell with anaemia so lethargic and feeling pretty run down. He then started trying it on with me, trying to get me to go upstairs. He got quite forceful and I asked him to leave several times before he eventually went 😢. I feel so stupid, I shouldn’t have let him in. Now feeling sorry for myself and wonder why the fuck I started OLD.
To the people that don’t know, I have met this man quite a few times, we have had sex before and been on dates but it’s only ever been a FWB type thing.

average good luck on your date