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Original poster

New man courting me in weird way?

191 replies

Hannah11BobbyPins · 17/06/2019 06:19

I met this guy recently who I really like. Sorry to sound like a dreadful wanker but truth be told I'd probably be considered out of his league (sorry, makes me cringe saying it but thought I needed context). I'm significantly younger and attractive, he's broke and not conventionally handsome, but I'm extremely drawn to his 'vagabond, primitive-macho type vibe'.

If you could bear with that obnoxious intro, thank you! We're in a situation where I'm letting him court me. We both know there's an attraction. But yesterday when we were together he kept detailing his huge list of sexual conquests to me which felt to me like a misguided courting strategy. Not sure why he thought that would work because now I'm thinking I don't want to be another 'notch' and he could have an STI :S

has this happened to anyone before? Is there a chance for a decent relationship, not just sex? For context, be spent the whole morning showing me photo albums of his childhood (hours doing it). We're quite close

OP posts:
TatianaLarina · 18/06/2019 06:54

The more you say the worse he gets OP.

Do you seriously want to have sex with this eejit? Why? Is it the hat?

Doesn’t his sex talk have you vomiting?

Someone who is ‘sensible’ with finances doesn’t entertain the idea of supporting a partner without a good reason (ie they’re a SAHP, retraining etc). In this case he’s simply a low-skilled and feckless loser.

RantyAnty · 18/06/2019 07:08

Oh an Aussie cocklodger dole bludger

He was at yours deciding where he was going to store his VB cartons, Bintang singlet collection, VN Commodore, and and 2 Staffies when he moves in. Grin Grin

Coronapop · 18/06/2019 07:11

A man in his 50s who is broke is very very unappealing. IME it probably means he is a useless waster who will leech off anyone he can (especially a young attractive woman with money).

Happinessbegins · 18/06/2019 07:17

I wouldn’t call him telling you about his past sexploits ‘letting him court you.’

Happinessbegins · 18/06/2019 07:18

He’s also setting himself up by telling you what a wonderful lover he is and how good he is at oral sex Confused. I would be prepared for a let down.

IAmAlwaysLikeThis · 18/06/2019 07:28

OP why are your standards so low?

You sound like you think this guy is some sexy paragon of manliness when anyone with self esteem can see he's a creep.

I'm 10 years older than you and would habe zero interest in someone that age's saggy old arse humping away.

But I remember being in my 20s and thinking I was very mature and sophisticated for boinking some 40 year old. Looking back, he clearly just saw me as an orifice to stick his tiny dick in. No respect for me as a person. He would have shagged anyone that age just to say he could. I wasn't special and looking back makes my skin crawl.

Moralitym1n1 · 18/06/2019 07:35

He's going on about his sexual skills/experience because he has absolutely nothing else to offer.

He's a bum. And sounds suspiciously like an alco too. Maybe that's why he's got nothing by his 50s.

Moralitym1n1 · 18/06/2019 07:38

(that's if he's even got sexual skills to offer, it's easy to talk big, we've all had experience of men who do this and turn out to be delusional).

Moralitym1n1 · 18/06/2019 07:42

Honestly I don't think he's even worth a shag.

And you think you won't catch feelings but it often happens.

Moralitym1n1 · 18/06/2019 07:45

Also anyone wearing a cowboy hat outside Texas, Argentina, or the outback is very likely to be a twat.

Moralitym1n1 · 18/06/2019 08:05

Someone who is ‘sensible’ with finances doesn’t entertain the idea of supporting a partner without a good reason (ie they’re a SAHP, retraining etc).

Seconded.
You'd just be setting yourself up to be used/lived off.

Moralitym1n1 · 18/06/2019 08:06

Not even referring to crocodile dundee there, just anyone/in general.

Huskylover1 · 18/06/2019 08:11

@Closetbeanmuncher I am pretty sensible with my finances and the idea of supporting a serious partner (the RIGHT person, not necessarily him) is fine with me

Oh dear Lord. This ^^ is the exact opposite of being sensible with your finances.

Believe you me, you have given out some vibes about this, and Mr Hobo is well and truly on the scent. You will say that you haven't, but you are young and naive....and he is 25 years ahead of you in the game darlin.

He's old, broke, living rent free, struggles to find work, and along comes a 28 year old, who has money, and is open to financially supporting a man who can't and won't work. He must feel like he has won the lottery.

Saying that you will support a non-working man, is NOT being financially sensible. It's financial suicide. Do you really need to pay for sex? Can't you do better?

I know you'll read what I have said here, and say "Oh no, he isn't like that"....because you are 28. Every woman past 45 on here will agree with me tough.....we've all seen it at one time or another.

Huskylover1 · 18/06/2019 08:12

*though

NatureWillDeleteTheEvidence · 18/06/2019 08:15

I'm not far past 30 and i 100% agree with you husky!

growlingbear · 18/06/2019 08:22

I agree with @Huskylover1

growlingbear · 18/06/2019 08:24

You'd be better off paying for some therapy sessions to find out why you feel the urge to mother a man old enough to be your father and helpless enough to be your child. Were you pushed into the role of emotional carer for one of your parents as a child? Do you feel comfortable and capable in that role?

Or is it that you are motherly and know you can't have kids so some lame duck is what you think you deserve? There are many ways to have real children.

Moralitym1n1 · 18/06/2019 08:38

I am pretty sensible with my finances and the idea of supporting a serious partner (the RIGHT person, not necessarily him) is fine with me

No offence but you may as well wear a t-shirt with "Spongers Welcome" on it.

Moralitym1n1 · 18/06/2019 08:39

A decent partner wouldn't need supported, unless in exceptional circumstances for a limited period.

RantyAnty · 18/06/2019 08:44

@Huskylover1
this old bat near 60 agrees. Grin

This is the main reason they target late teens twenties girls. They say all the right things to make you feel so special and grown up.

hayser33 · 18/06/2019 08:52

OP I Had a relationship with someone like this ...almost identical.
We have a 5 year old he last see her when she was 6 weeks old.
I can't say i regret it as I have her but my God I was a fool over him Blush..it's just embarrassing to look back on.
He thought himself something special in bed too ...he really wasn'tHmm
You sound lovely ...save yourself the heartache and meet someone who will be good for you x

Illberidingshotgun · 18/06/2019 08:59

Just from the financial point of view - steer well clear. As I already mentioned, my ex was a lot older than me, and he also had a very low paid job, no house, no savings, nothing. I owned my house, very good income etc. He's now walked away with a large sum of money for a house, a monthly income etc, because that's what people are potentially entitled to once you are married. Please don't do what I did.

Phare · 18/06/2019 08:59

Why are you invested in trying to romanticise a broke, middle-aged, frequently-unemployed casual builder with questionable taste in millinery?

And he must be drinking a lot, or unemployed a lot, if he’s still broke, despite not even paying rent.

Huskylover1 · 18/06/2019 09:00

"Youth is wasted on the Young"

Never was this saying more pertinent.

Moralitym1n1 · 18/06/2019 09:01

questionable taste in millinery

Grin