New man courting me in weird way?

[Hannah11BobbyPins]

I met this guy recently who I really like. Sorry to sound like a dreadful wanker but truth be told I'd probably be considered out of his league (sorry, makes me cringe saying it but thought I needed context). I'm significantly younger and attractive, he's broke and not conventionally handsome, but I'm extremely drawn to his 'vagabond, primitive-macho type vibe'.

If you could bear with that obnoxious intro, thank you! We're in a situation where I'm letting him court me. We both know there's an attraction. But yesterday when we were together he kept detailing his huge list of sexual conquests to me which felt to me like a misguided courting strategy. Not sure why he thought that would work because now I'm thinking I don't want to be another 'notch' and he could have an STI :S

has this happened to anyone before? Is there a chance for a decent relationship, not just sex? For context, be spent the whole morning showing me photo albums of his childhood (hours doing it). We're quite close

@ChristmasFluff Hmmm..... I feel a Swindon hike would suit me better than a Snowdon one!

I'm picturing a goth or rocker... Guitar slung over his back, cowboy boots and a fedora. (Nothing wrong with any of the above just what came to mind ). There's a strong chance you'll look back in a decade and be squicked out at yourself if you do get into a sexual relationship with someone louche like this. Maybe this could continue to be just a lovely friendship? You're clearly close and that's great and maybe enough.

OP, aside from anything else, when you’re 40, he’ll be 65.

If he’s broke now, how do you think he’d cope in retirement, with you having another 20 odd years to work.

There’s nothing about this relationship that works.

He’s a player.

He's not called Boris is he by any chance?

OP you haven't had a "day date" ?

Don't even know why I am asking though - older , broke , bit of rough ? Just no!

OMG OP I'm nearly 50 and I'm probably going to come across like your mum so feel free to ignore me but this sounds disastrous.

he's broke

nooooooo

I'm extremely drawn to his 'vagabond, primitive-macho type vibe'.

oohh nooooo!

he kept detailing his huge list of sexual conquests

yaaaawwn

he spent the whole morning showing me photo albums of his childhood

wtf

Honestly, I know where you're coming from and you may see him as a friend but this is NOT relationship material. If you

oops! If you want to extend it into FWB territory to get a bit of vagabond, primitive-macho type lust out of your system, go for it but please don't be thinking relationship. You're 28 and you'll end up with a cocklodging egotistical bore on your hands and feel sorry for him when you want to get rid.

25 years might matter less if you were 75 and he was 100 that made me LOL blackberry!

I find the more a man brags about how many women he's slept with, or how amazing he is in bed, the less experience he has in the bedroom (think Jay from the inbetweeners). I agree it's a turn off either way (unless you've specifically asked or it's relevant to the conversation).

He’s not your friend OP, he’s working on you to get a shag with a young attractive woman.

Go and make some female / platonic male friends of your own age and similar background. You are wasting your time here.

I keep picturing Keith Richards.

He sounds skeezy and not really relationship material.

He’s not your friend OP, he’s working on you to get a shag with a young attractive woman.

Agree with this.

And agree with the poster saying you can do better.

And you will be referred to as number x when he moves on. He's not going to change and he will drain you of self-esteem & finance.

He sounds like a creep and someone that might be better to keep as a friend rather than get entangled with

Does he have dc from the previous marriage? Are they older than you?

You say he’s broke. Does he work?

My exH was 9 years older than me and he bored me to tears and we had nothing in common.

When you say hes broke, what do you mean? Is he constantly changing jobs, in alot of debt, irresponsible with money?

Is he irresponsible with life generally?

When you say hes 'macho', do you mean hes abit of a mysoginist?

When you say hes been single for 10 years, do you mean hes had lots of short term relationships and can't seem to hold one down? Have any of his exes been 'crazy' or treated him badly? Is he a victim in life?

Sounds to me like he could be a narcissist although would need alot more information. Talking about previous sexual encounters could be triangulation. He wants you to think he must be good if so many women want him to evoke your jealousy and therefore want to 'bag' him for yourself.

If he is just showing off, it shows he has low emotional maturity and is abit of a twat.

Narc or not I'd be running from this guy.

So he's broke, not conventionally attractive, way older, has 'mentored' you, boasts about his raft of past sexual conquests, and spent hours boring you with his childhood photo albums?

He has all the emotional intelligence of a cardboard box.

Shag him if you must, but keep it as a short term thing, for God's sake.

I once had someone hit on me in my 20s, he wasn't a lot older but he was shall we say less of a catch than me.He regaled me with tales of his prowess at oral sex and that his skills had satisfied 100s of women in our city. 🤮

I've never felt less turned on in my life!

Oh and universally every guy who has listed his 'conquests' to me in the way you describe has turned out to be an abusive narcissist.

Yes it turned into a relationship, but a very abusive one

I'm picturing a tall, broad, football hooligan type whose hair needs a good cut, lives in grey trackies, and ancient trainers, smokes prison rollies (super skinny hand rolled ciggies, with no filter), and always has a tin of beer either in his hand or close to hand. Uses his neighbours wifi as he doesn't have his own or a TV package.

Or I could just be projecting there (bad experience with a bloke like this once)

Boris! :o

please dont take on a broken vagabond man. You might feel drawn now, but i can assure you, it will get old VERY quickly.

There is a reason he cant get someone his own age

I’m picturing a Neanderthal.

Oh, and what's most alarming in your posts is that you appear to be think it's a huge compliment that he spent hours showing you his childhood photo albums, like he's opening up to you and is paying you the compliment of confiding about his childhood.

It's not, you know. It's exactly the same as your parents' awful friends Barbara and Geoffrey who used to come back from their holidays and make everyone they know sit through hours of slides of them caravanning in Peebles.

I had an image in my head too and couldn't place it but I now realise it's....

Catweazle.