New man courting me in weird way?

[Hannah11BobbyPins]

I met this guy recently who I really like. Sorry to sound like a dreadful wanker but truth be told I'd probably be considered out of his league (sorry, makes me cringe saying it but thought I needed context). I'm significantly younger and attractive, he's broke and not conventionally handsome, but I'm extremely drawn to his 'vagabond, primitive-macho type vibe'.

If you could bear with that obnoxious intro, thank you! We're in a situation where I'm letting him court me. We both know there's an attraction. But yesterday when we were together he kept detailing his huge list of sexual conquests to me which felt to me like a misguided courting strategy. Not sure why he thought that would work because now I'm thinking I don't want to be another 'notch' and he could have an STI :S

has this happened to anyone before? Is there a chance for a decent relationship, not just sex? For context, be spent the whole morning showing me photo albums of his childhood (hours doing it). We're quite close

You would be wasting your time to pursue this. He sounds like a loser and a creep. Think long term. You can do better.

Fuck him if you must, but be prepared to catch an STD

a man who hasn't got his act together by his fifties will be a huge drain on you, long term. Have a fling, then go and find someone to share a good life with.

Why when I'm imagining this creepy guy do I see Nick Knowles .

I'm seeing Paul Kaye

I don’t think this sounds as if it has success written all over it. I’d stay friends.

He’s 25 years older than you? Why are you dating this man? He’s probably a dirty one man who just wants to get you into bed, guys like this are great at saying the right thing, making you feel like they care just so they can bed you. Has he actually got anything going for him? At the age of 55 he might not even be able to preform well in the bedroom without a bit of help from viagra 🤣, seriously, guys that talk about sex all the time are usually pretty rubbish at it or they have issues. Of course he wants to get you into bed, your a young atractive woman, what 55 year old wouldn’t?

Eew, I'm cringing just reading, OP.

TBH you sound rather naiive. The attraction of the 'vagabond macho vibe' is likely to be short lived. In telling you of his conquests he has made it clear what his main interest is. Don''t be another notch.

The last guy who after love bombing me told me about how he used to have 2,3 women on the go when he was younger actually was pretty shit in bed. So I'm not sure now if I believed him because if he'd slept with that many women, he should be better! Anyway, he was bad news with lots of issues and if I were you I'd go with your gut and steer clear. I wish I had.

Since knowing I was attracted to him he's been acting differently ("courting" mode!)

Is he courting you? He's 53, and he's been married. He knows how to "court". From what you've said, I'd presume that he knows you're attracted to him and he's happy to have sex with you, but he's making it clear that there isn't a romantic future there with him, for whatever reason.

There is no way that a 53 year old with a list of sexual conquests and an ex-wife doesn't know what's going on here.

Are you happy to stick to a mentor-type friendship?

Oh dear.

I'm a 54 year old woman, and I'm a bit of a vagabond type myself (imagine aged Debbie Harry and you won't be far off!)

I date younger men all the time (don't feel the need to list my conquests to them tho!), and would date a 28 year old for a while, no problem. I love the energy of younger men, I love their outlook on life, and frankly men my age seem like my dad, and mostly bore me. If they aren't up for a midnight hike up Swindon, I'm not interested - and so few men my age are.

But by the time you are in your 50s, you are set in your ways, happy with who you are, and are looking for utter perfection to even consider settling down (well, I am anyway). It will doubtless be different for men, but I would never settle down with a 28 year old. I'd basically be lining up a carer, and that isn't fair.

So we have fun, I teach them lots (and they sometimes teach me some), and then we both move on. The relationships generally last about 6 months to a year maximum. If that is what you are looking for, go for it! If you are looking for marriage and babies, think again.

It sounds like you don't actually know him that well, and are looking beyond the vagabond exterior, imagining he has a soft heart of gold underneath. Projecting your own good qualities onto him in spite of any evidence to the contrary (listing conquests? Yuck!).

If you go into this, go into it with your eyes open. Any outcome is possible, but some are more probable than others.

HAHAHA!!!!!! SNOWDEN, not Swindon!!!!!

He has a courting formula. He's had 10 years to perfect it. It obviously works for him as he's reeling you in now.

a midnight hike up Swindon

Hilarious!!

He sounds godawful, what on earth are you thinking OP?

It’s not a weird courting ritual he’s just thick.

If presume if he’s he’d that much sex & nobody stuck around he’s not that good at it!

Also he’ll have really saggy balls (it’s a thing. A fact that’s easier to bear when you yourself reach the saggy stage..).

I’d stick with men a bit closer in age, there are some lovely ones about. Preferably without the issues he has and a better prospect of a decent future that doesn’t involve you becoming his carer by the time you are in your prime.

Also the sex CV is a bit sad really. You deserve better, be his friend by all means but avoid the relationship (or set the boundaries early & just pitch it as fun for now & use protection against the potential STI’s. Eww 😷)!

Ew there is no way he'd come near me without being double bagged.

He's treating you like one of the lads. You're firmly in the friend zone, not the potential mate zone.

Walk away with your dignity - and make it a brisk walk!

Hmm - your OP says you met this man recently, but later you say you have been friends with each other for more than a year, and supported each other through the tough times.... if it is the latter, I wouldn't have sex with him as you would risk ending the friendship.

The fact that you enjoy the mentor/Yoda aspect of the relationship suggests to me that it might not be a partnership of equals.

The childhood photos thing is a bit odd to me, but I am probably projecting my experiences with my narcissistic ex.

Men who are actually successful with women don't tend to boast about it.

he's broke and not conventionally handsome

Oohhh, sounds hard to resist!

Can you post a pic I'm intrigued to see what this guy has that interests you!

Exactly formerbabe

People who are successful at anything have no need to brag. It's like those naff 90s t-shirts that said 'sexy' on them. If you were mate you wouldn't need it printed out on a shirt.

Now feeling weird that I find both Nick Knowles and Paul Kaye attractive...

Oh come on OP, you can do better than this creep! You're just wasting your time if you want to settle down and meet someone decent long term. He's not in your league in any sense! While you are seeing him, your options to meet a nice guy - preferably in your own age/looks/income bracket and who doesn't brag about how many women he's shagged - are being severely limited!