My narc ex was also 'in the process' of buying his flat which was a complete lie. I went to his flat regularly and stayed the night (we were together 9 months) but he was cheating on me relentlessly. There was absolutely no evidence there that he was and he even gave me a key to his place (which I now realise was him setting up a false sense of intimacy). He had a well paid stable job and was in the process of setting up various businesses with very convincing websites. Turned out he was on loads of different dating sites but I never thought to check as he had me utterly convinced that he loved me and we were working towards marriage etc. He was the one who told me he'd only ever had 3 sexual partners, had been single and celebate for 2 years, I met his mum and friends who went along with all of this and the whole time he was bringing other women to her house. His businesses weren't doing as well as he'd made out and pretty much everything he said to me was a lie. Unfortunately you cant trust anything they say and I have learned to be far more discerning in what I believe anyone tells me. Dont ever project your good qualities (honesty, trust, emapthy) onto anyone else, this is something they have to earn.
Narcissists are as varied as human beings are varied (until you have been through the abuse cycles several times you can see the similar pattern) and there are many different 'types' and yours sounds like he is a covert narc. The difference with coverts is that to the outside world, everything appears normal (good house, career friends, social standing, charity work etc) but they are equally as abusive as other types, it just takes longer to see because of the cognitive dissonance. Covert narcs rely heavily on playing the victim (which yours is already doing) and wont appear grandiose at first, in fact they will pretend to be horribly wounded victims of their own circumstance. On the inside though, they feel entitled because of their 'terrible pasts' to be horrible to those closest to them. They are equally as dangerous. They also use much more passive tactics than overt narcs such as stonewalling, silent treatment, hanging up the phone during an argument etc
All of my narcs had many people who had cut them off in their life (exes, family members, children, friends) and you have to ask yourself why. He was very selective about who I met and tried way too hard to ingratiate himself with my family (to later use them as his flying monkeys during the smear campaign).
They all talked about ex partners either in a derogatory way (so I knew not to be like them) or in a bragging way (to triangulate me and make me jealous). They would squirm if i even mentioned the name of an ex of mine though and all became angry at how many men I'd slept with after a few months when they had asked me the question at the beginning of the relationship.
Another thing is that they were very superficial. Called me 'babe' rather than my name, focussed on buying me 'women shit' like flowers rather than anything thoughtful, 'forgot' to get me anything for my birthday, became disinterested in my stories and constantly 'misunderstood' me on purpose (the opposite of the beginning when they were digging for information), became flaky by cancelling plans at last minute (cheating by this point).
Watch closely for all of these things as the relationship progresses but there are so many more and not all of them display every single behaviour, especially not in the beginning.
If you are determined to give this guy a chance, regularly reassess his behaviour and reread this thread every few months. If you are unhappy a few months down the line and asking yourself 'is it me?' then know it definitely isn't you. If you are constantly being made to feel like you are unreasonable, you said the wrong thing, you made the mistake, you have to apologise (some narcs will apologise at first but then change the argument into being about all of your flaws), you just need to figure out how to be with him and you could have a great relationship then know you have been brainwashed and need to get out.
Healthy relationships dont make you feel like this and should be effortless with no drama