still shaking - hve discoverd my instinct about the other woman was right

[hatingtoberight]

Dh work colleague - I've had bad vibes abouther since day one. Iknew somethign ws brewing. I have just seen an email exhcnage between them from last night - she has obvioulsy had anr 'emotional outburst' with him yesterday and now he knows how she feels abouthim. Oh God - I so didn't want this to be right. They have to work together - how are they goign to do this? What on earth doI do next? sit by and watch it develop and hop e he sees sense? declare my hand and that I ws looking at his email? If i tell him I'm onto them - it won't necesarily stop it - it wil just be better covered up. He's been so nice recently - of COURSe he bloody has!

Do you not trust him? Has he been unfaithful before?

I don't think snooping helps - you now know something you shouldn't know, and can't do anything with it other than worry more.

Sorry, that was unsympathetic, it sounds stressful and horrible for you.

I knwo wha t I've done - I did it because my instinct ws up. I've never looked at his emails before - in my paltry defence it's our home pc and his aren't password protected.
I'm so cross. I don't knwo what to do. we're meant to be on holidya at teh end of this week - i don't know wheterh to say anythign and risk spoiling the holiday or try very hard to keep it to myself.

Oh you poor thing. If you actually don't think anything has happened, other than her being interested in him, I wouldn't do anything yet.

I would talk to him, I think. 'fess up, and talk to him.

If you saw an email exchange between them, presumably you got an idea about how he is dealing with this?

initially he was being ok - aprtfromthe kisses t the end othe emails. This time he tels her he is lookign forward to seeing her today. I have half a mind to drive to where they work and jus tmake my presence felt.

It depends on the relationship between you and your dh- for example, I could say to mine "I'm sorry but I couldn't quite help myself because I've been worried about this for a while now- can we talk about it?" Would he respond positively to something like that?
It's a horrible feeling, I know, but if you can try to come at it from that sort of angle rather than launching an attack, you might get results
After all, some insecurities in any relationship are understandable and not necessarily a cause for anger on his part.

she wsa so Farking transparent - why can't men see wht these women are up to?!!

But as I said, give him the benefit of the doubt. Obviously he likes the attention, but it doesn't necessarily mean he will do anything about it, and you could be opening up a whole can of worms that might go away on its own.

He was putting kisses at the end of his emails to her? That seems a little odd - maybe he does it to everyone? [optimistic]

Seriously, is there any indication that she's apologetic for telling him? Or that he brushed her off?

I don't know how I'd behave in that sort of situation, but it would make sense for him to try to get a bit of distance between them, given ...

I would most definitely talk to him and find out what his intentions are towards her.

she sort of apologises fr o lettinghim know how she feels- but also adds that he knew how she felt al along. there's lots of 'thank you for your lovely message - lovely you' type thing.
stupid cow.
I knw nothing else has happend yet - but previously I pu tit down to anoverfrienldy inappropratie friendship - now she 's shown her hand. I hate her and I knew she'd be trouble. She bought my kids pressies once FFS - for no appratent reason.

Apologising is probably a good start.

Has he been unfaithful before?

No I don't think so. Hes' take na bloody CD into work for her today - iknew what he was up to and tried last night some pathtiec Oh I really like that one - leave it here and I'll put it on my iPOd. No - it's gone off to her today.

You definately need to talk to him and nip this in the bud now. Don't feel bad about looking at the email, if you were suspicious then it's human nature that you are going to look. You looked and you were right, so don't be so hard on yourself. When you explain how you feel, he should understand that...he has some explaining to do!!

Big hugs

thak you - I@m in tears now - I cna't beleive this is happening. I've got to go to work and get my two children ready for school and try and keep this to myself.

Oh bless you I know this is awful for you, you poor love. Try & be strong for yourself and the children today. Does he have any idea you're suspicious??

Reading your message and being with you today reminds me why I feel
how I feel.

..there that's a flavour of her bloody email

You have to talk to him I know exactly how you feel...I recently found tons of incriminating emails It broke my heart, however, I'm pleased I found them rather than being in the dark and have them betray me behind my back

This could be one sided but until you speak to him, you don't know and you will just fester and make yourself even more miserable.

You need to sort this asap. There's nowt wrong with you looking at his emails on your joint computer.

There is a lot wrong with him mooning over a colleague.

He will try and make it look totally innocent, and he will say that you are over reacting, but you are not. His behaviour with this woman is inappropriate...and as she is a work colleague it could impact on his career, which could impact on your children.

Talk to him tonight, and good luck.

I have to go now.

purple poppet- what did you do abouthte emails?

Obi is right!! Let us know how you get on xx

my BIL is staying with us tonight - I cna't do this with hm around.

You need to nip this in the bud now. Tell him you know and that you aren't going to stand for this. Don't let it develop. If he has responded to her in any way that might be encouraging (or if he has not stopped it) then he might fall for her, if he hasn't already.

How were things before this between you?