New bf acting strange ?

[Soconfused84]

I've been seeing bf for 4 months been exclusive for about a month. He is lovely when he is around etc we see each other most weekends and maybe one day in the week , I have DC he doesn't.
Anyway when we are apart he rarely initiates contact so I also withdraw a little as i don't want to come accross as the needy clingy one , we have spoken about this before and he has said to just call him everyday when I've finished work, I've called him a few evenings , then last week he upped his contact and it was really lovely. Fast forward this week I last saw him Monday heard nothing , so yesterday I txt saying are u ok not heard from you to which he replied "I've been waiting for your call" I said yea same as , he then started going on about how we had what he thought a lovely afternoon Monday and then I've just dropped off the radar and he doesn't know what I've been up to etc and hung up on me .
I called him later that evening and said I'd been busy with work etc , he txt me a night txt later that eve but I was already asleep, so I spoke to him this morning but he was half asleep so I left him to it, then whatsapped him just now saying sorry if I've upset u it wasn't my intention , why don't u pick me up from work later we can hace a chat , he has read and ignored my messages 😣 I feel sick , I don't know what's Happenning , why is he playing like this

Aaaaah told my mum of blocked him she reminded me he has stuff off mine and I need it back so I've had to unblock again

@Soconfused84 Well done! You won't regret this.

What do I do now

What stuff do you need? Are you not just looking for excuses to contact him.

If these are things that can't be replaced, just text him tell him to leave them somewhere for you and then block again

Well done on blocking him. Please stay strong and stick to it, take heed of the great advice you've had so far. He's fucking with your head. I know you're desperately sad but think of it this way - it's like this after 4 months. It will only get worse, men like this don't suddenly start being nice once you live with them/marry them/have kids etc. Stay strong now and in a few weeks you'll feel a lot better. After a month or two you'll be glad you got rid of the idiot.

Now imagine staying with him and putting up with this uncertainty for however many years. Doesn't sound fun, does it!

No he has been borrowing a contract dongle I'm paying for I need that back

Just tell him to drop it off to your mum's/leave it in your porch etc, then reblock

Just ring the company tell them it's lost or tell them stolen.

They will send you a new one and block that one.

No excuses

@Soconfused84 say you lost it to whoever provides it, ask for a replacement. The money you're paying is for the 4g service or whatever right? Don't second guess yourself

It's all in my dad's name but my mum pays for it and my dad died 2 years ago

Simple solution - tell him your mum needs it back, can he return it to her (she pays for it). Block

He has your dongle and you have his car. Can you ask your mum or a friend to facilitate the exchange? You really need to stay well out of his way in case he turns on the charm and tries to suck you back in. He might not but don’t rule it out.

You’re saving yourself so much misery OP. Being with a man who likes you to dance is bloody awful, and probably only the tip of the iceberg. You’ll feel crap for a week or two but gradually you’ll realise what a lucky escape you’ve had. No man is worth that amount of stress and upset, especially one who would cause it.

Exactly that

I just want this day to be over

Fucks sake what a storm in a teacup! So you're both upset with each other over lack on contact...I assume then that if he posted it would sound very similar to your post. I mean. If you like each other this can be solved very easily by both growing the fuck up tbh.

@Onemansoapopera Not helpful. The man is showing early signs of coercive control. Jealousy. Gaslighting. Silent treatment. Dismissiveness. These are early red flags and it's making her feel like shit

She's a shaking mess because it sounds like she liked him and she might have lost what she thought was a promising relationship.

I wonder if he or you have anxious/ambivalent attachment (see attachment theory) and are both trying to come off as not clingy/needy?

Oops, I only read the first two pages, I didn't realise that there were 3 more. He sounds controlling.

You might be exclusive but this isn't a relationship. It's meant to be about give and take but so far you've been the one keeping this going.

If he can't see how that's wrong hen he is incredibly immature or he's well aware and playing silly buggers.

You deserve better so don't contact him again. Mail him his keys. End of.

@supercal77 that's your opinion with one side of the story and no personal knowledge of the people involved. I don't diagnose people as abusive when I don't even know them from Adam, so my opinion is dare I say a bit more level headed than yours and majority of the rest of this frankly bonkers thread.

Just re read the text message , he basically out , "you haven't called me like I said I'd like you to do , so you obviously don't care about me , I explained to that I'd like you to call however you haven't , that doesn't come accross as caring " then the second one was "you seem to have been acting strange since Monday , if it is down the fact that either you cannot call or you don't want to then it is what it is"

OP I don't think for one minute it's over. When you've both calmed down you can talk like grown ups about how to clear up these miscommunications.

You both sound insecure, so this shit will happen unless you address it.

He seems really off with me he didn't even respond to my WhatsApp when I said to him to drive down so we can talk

@Onemansoapopera Ok Mr? levelheaded. You crack on with your utterly reasonable and sane hot take on it. The rest of us, some of whom have had our fingers seriously burned by a controlling manipulator, will keep on saying exactly how it started and where these signs lead. Happy to be bonkers