New bf acting strange ?

[Soconfused84]

I've been seeing bf for 4 months been exclusive for about a month. He is lovely when he is around etc we see each other most weekends and maybe one day in the week , I have DC he doesn't.
Anyway when we are apart he rarely initiates contact so I also withdraw a little as i don't want to come accross as the needy clingy one , we have spoken about this before and he has said to just call him everyday when I've finished work, I've called him a few evenings , then last week he upped his contact and it was really lovely. Fast forward this week I last saw him Monday heard nothing , so yesterday I txt saying are u ok not heard from you to which he replied "I've been waiting for your call" I said yea same as , he then started going on about how we had what he thought a lovely afternoon Monday and then I've just dropped off the radar and he doesn't know what I've been up to etc and hung up on me .
I called him later that evening and said I'd been busy with work etc , he txt me a night txt later that eve but I was already asleep, so I spoke to him this morning but he was half asleep so I left him to it, then whatsapped him just now saying sorry if I've upset u it wasn't my intention , why don't u pick me up from work later we can hace a chat , he has read and ignored my messages 😣 I feel sick , I don't know what's Happenning , why is he playing like this

OP, is this the kind of relationship you want to live with? Constantly upset, off balance, and worrying?

You cannot change him or his behaviour. This is who he is. Learn from it. Break it off by text so you don't have to deal with face to face manipulation anymore. Then block him and make sure your mum does the same (as he sounds like one that will go through her to get to you).

Are we together are we not wtf is happening
You're now sitting there - giving up your power to decide if this is how you want to be treated and waiting to be 'picked' by him. Waiting for him to decide if you're good enough.

Block him - job done (he doesn't need/deserve an explanation) - he is someone you recently met who is blowing hot & cold.

You are now over analysing, if a relationship is like this in eaRly days it is not worth the hassle.

I expect laughter in a relationship not over analysing and tears, having been in a controlling relationship if fun, happiness and laughter does not happen the relationship is not for me.

His behaviour isn't logical and you are second guessing him and trying to make sense of it. He is manipulative and gas lighting you. Do not stop to try to work out why, the simple answer is control.

Your head is a mess after one month of exclusive dating, how do you think things are going to be in 6 months? Even if you make the charitable assumption that perhaps he struggles to articulate himself clearly, then what? Does it become your responsibility to support him whilst he develops better communication skills? He has blamed you for all the communication difficulties and taken no responsibility himself. If telling him the phone works both ways hasn't made any impact then you're wasting your time.

You need to run, now, block or delete and don't look back.

take the strength of all the responses you have received on this thread and free yourself. Whilst you engage in mind games with this fucker perfectly decent men are passing you by. It should not be this hard after 4 months.

He has totally gaslighted you there. By twisting it all and making you feel guilty for upsetting him.

Why couldn't he test or call. Why is he now saying 'he didn't know what you had been up to'

The fact he hung up on you over that is vile, this will turn into a controlling relationship

WALK AWAY

I don't have the energy anymore

OP walk away. He's playing games

Oh and another thing he said that I had been acting strange because I'd not been in contact since Monday , I said I left my phone at work Weds so he was like well what happened Tuesday then ? So it's not like he hasn't been thinking about me

If he'd been thinking of you why didn't he text?

Why the fuck has this bloke turned it all into you. Does he not have the ability to pick up a phone like.

He's not thinking about you OP, he's thinking about himself. Why weren't you there to pander to his control on tuesday? That's what he wants to know. He didn't ask "You were quiet ok tuesday are you alright?" He's asking "What happened on tuesday", that's a very demanding way to ask.

@Damntheman spot on! It's the start of accusations, this will eventually turn into him not trusting her and accusing her of everything.

Has he some weird condition stopping him from picking up a phone?!
What would you do OP if you thought he'd call and he didn't. Throw a tantrum or text or call him yourself. Like a normal human being?!

Jesus OP, you told him you can’t deal with this, he said fine. He really doesn’t sound bothered either way. How much more clear do you want it.

All this messing ou about and stringing you along is to test you, to see how much you’ll take. Been there, done that, and it didn’t end well for me.

Just text him to say it’s over, I’ve left your key ina safe place, then block. He’ll be on tinder after the next little mouse to play with before the day is through.

You’ve got kids ffs, you’re supposed to be the grown up. Getting all bent out of shpe over some bloke you met four months ago is not a good way to model relationship behaviour for them. Honestly, open your eyes, and stop abasing yourself for this man, it’s not a good look. He thinks you’re potential mug material and right now you’re proving he’s right. Stop it.

Well no I would call him but like I said it's always been me initiating so as soon as I back off this is what I get. Literally last week he txt me a few times and I responded and he seemed to make more of an effort

Agree with previous posters, this is far too much stress for a 4 month relationship! It’s really not healthy and surely this kind of “misunderstanding” shows you’re not compatible?
If it makes you feel better send a msg along the lines of ‘I’m sorry you feel I’ve not been communicating enough, I can’t see a future for us but I wish you well’ That’s it, end it politely, don’t engage and if he continues to harass you block him.
Hope you’ve got irl support too

It's very difficult when you are in the situation to realise you are in it it's funny cause I could sense something wasnt right

Controlling behaviour?

Silent treatment?

Withdrawing affection as punishment?

Sounds like a twatbag. Sounds like he wants you begging for his time and affection. He's taking the piss. Some blokes are like that...

I would write this one off. Chalk it down to experience. Reflect on it so you can recognise it in future. Seriously, dont let him waste your time. In fact, get pissed off that he's been wasting your time and just send him a text saying it's over. You don't owe him face to face, he's clearly not a nice person given his behaviour here. 4 months does not mean you owe him face to face.

You feel awful because he's manipulating you to feel guilty. Let's face it... if he really wanted you or was even concerned for your welfare he would have text you asking if you were okay on the days that you left your phone at work.

Did he text you? Did he ask how you were?

soconfused
Re your question posed at 11.23 today:-

Some abusive men like to target single mothers OP because they think they are so desperate for male company that they would put up with any old rubbish.

He wants to drag you down with him to his base level.
End this by text; he does not deserve any more of your time or consideration. He has and will give you spaghetti head at any and all opportunity. Such men too hate women, all of them and particularly their own mother.

Also read this article too:-
www.drjoecarver.com/clients/49355/File/IdentifyingLosers.html

I've done it I've blocked , keep me strong today please I'm feeling very sad

God what a waste of time and energy over some dickhead that can't even pick up his phone to call or text you.

Don't sit there wondering if you're still together or not - sit there and work out why the fuck it matters to you? He's hardly a catch is he, he sounds like a right loser. Playing games like this based on control and trying to make you needy and demanding so he can feel like the Great I Am - fuck that shit.

There are normal nice guys out there that won't treat you like a plaything for their amusement - end it with this twat and go and find someone who treats you with consideration and respect.

Well done OP.

Well done OP, you've taken such a huge step!

Dodged a bullet there OP.

OP - Well done 💐

Do not dwell moving forward plan your weekend - do you have plans?

Maybe a
Cinema trip
Some exercise.
A trip to the library to find some light entertainment or a book you have wanted to reAd
Cocktails with a friend
Afternoon tea ........