Dating thread 161: (Can anybody find me) somebody to love..?

[Sunshineandflipflops]

The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Sunshine it is tough but we'll survive and be happier
Sorry for the thread derail folks, but I'm on my lonesome working at home today so it was nice to share some good news even if not remotely relevant to the thread 🤣

Back on topic I have my 2nd date with MissHair tonight, going out for dinner at a very nice restaurant less than 5 mins taxi ride from my house. So requested boxes ticked and her kids are staying over at her mum's 😉
I am detrmined not to overinvest but there's a lot to like it would appear. Most endearing is there's no playing it cool, she messages straight away when she can, she says exactly what's on her mind without worrying about how I might interpret stuff, and she's very funny and cheeky. Oh and she's got a lovely bum but that's probably tmi!
As I said not overinvesting 🤣

Thanks for the warm welcome, and for those who are having a tough time.

I'm clearly a novice at this whole OLD game as I keep getting confused how it works: on bumble, the app notified me that I had profiles who wanted to see if I like them - So, heart in mouth, I swiped right on one of them but no match has been highlighted? Does bumble just do that to get you to look at new profiles? Actually maybe that's what it meant..? I dislike internet shopping at the best of times! It's all so image based too. I don't take photos of myself much!

Aww ant that sounds lovely. I hope someone describes me that way one day have fun!

Misty if you click the icon top right it will take you to conversations, the top line of images will show you who has liked you.
To see them you have to pay, I tend to let them build up and then pay for 1 day to take a look. In all honesty each time I wished I hadn't bothered but that might not be same for you.
I assume though if you happen to swipe right on somebody who has already liked you then you get a match, but I don't think the app automatically shows you those people otherwise you'd never pay.

Actually I'll revise that comment, most of the time I wished I hadn't bothered, but I have had matches doing it that way and 1 date through Bumble as well.

Ah that helps explain it thanks. Apparently I've got 50+ 'likes' but I've been through most of the local ones to me I think, so a match would have shown up if I've swiped right on any. I only swiped right on a few as it felt like I was accepting a marriage proposal in swiping right! not sure I can be bothered with it all. How to meet people in real life though? All my friends are coupled up and don't really like going out out.

Misty I think even if you were going out, most of the single people you'd meet would be on one of the sites anyway it's just the way everybody seems to do it now.
It took me a while to get used to it as it seems so impersonal, but persevere and before you know it you'll be chatting to a few people simultaneously and deciding whether to multi-date or not

@Misty9 With Bumble, unless you pay you only know who has swiped right on you if you swipe right on them and it's a match.

I've only had one date (soon to be 2) via Bumble as I'm not good at first messages!

Hmm, which ones would people recommend are worth paying for or bothering with?

I wouldn't pay @Misty9 try tinder it's similar as bumble but they can message you first

@Ant330 good luck with your second date with Miss Hair tonight. Sadly Mr K has cancelled our second date tomorrow, despite telling me last night that he was really looking forward to it. He said that he does not want to see me again as he feels we have different lifestyles and aspirations. How he managed to deduce that from one date and a week of texting I do not know, but anyway, we are not going to see each other again apparently. I am rather disappointed but determined to pick myself up and not let it get me down. I was feeling a bit low last week but I am going to stay positive and continue looking for new activities to do locally and keep busy.

Misty I agree, give Tinder a try. It was the one I tried last but had far more success with.
LilyRose his loss! Onwards and upwards 😉

@LilyRose88 Sorry to hear about MrK, but if he's got reservations for whatever reason, best to end things sooner rather than later. Does seem a bit early in proceedings though especially if lots of messaging has been going on.

@Ant330 I've got a good feeling about MissHair - you seem cockahoop about her!

@shitwithsugaron Hope everything goes OK for you tonight with MrB. I'm sure it will be fine from what you've said about him.

I hope the second date with Miss Hair goes as well as the first, @Ant330.

Sorry to hear that MrK has let you down, @LilyRose88. As @JeSuisPrest says, though, it’s possibly best if he lets you know sooner rather than letting you get more invested. It’s so disappointing though, especially since he’s been keen on messaging.

In only tangentially related to dating news, my ex’s dad (who is lovely, unlike ex) has been diagnosed with prostrate cancer today. Ex’s mum told me and asked me not to say anything to DS2.

I’m wondering whether to mention it to MrSG at all. He’s a bit touchy about exes and finds it weird that I keep in touch with ex’s parents. But I was very close to them for a decade and they feel kind of like my second set of parents. But, equally, not mentioning it feels like keeping it quiet/from him. And that’s no good. I’m seeing him later tonight, so I’ll figure it out before then.

Remember on the last thread when I was struggling to find someone who I just felt a spark with. Well Mr Humm is giving me that spark. Obv not had the date yet.

But, I just wanted to remind you all, look how shit I've felt since the last one Mr LikesTheVeryVeryYoungGirls (not because of him but because OLD was driving me mad)

I'm not even sure anything will come from this, but it's nice to have the spark again.

Keep going everyone.

Leaving in 20 mins to pick her up, nerves have kicked in properly! I get quiet when I'm nervous :(
I wasn't nervous at all the other night and I've been fine all day. Hopefully they'll ease off once we start chatting.

Nerves are good...it shows you are excited! Hope it goes well

@Ant330 I’m sure you’ll be okay once you’ve picked her up. Have a lovely evening.

I survived work today (despite leaving my laptop at home), meeting for lunch at his tomorrow, I have disappointed and said I will have to actually have a quick food break this time as my blood sugar was all over the place on sunday. I have been promised a quick snack break 😂

@Crustaceans it was me with the ridiculous wait. Both GP and Sexual health (contraception nothing dodgy!!) a 4 week wait! Glad you had a great time away x

lifegoes I'm so hoping your date with Mr hummel goes brilliantly . You have been a great source of help,comfort and wisdom on here ( also very empathetic)and deserve someone amazing...fingers crossed for you

Awww @kerkyra thank you so much. That's so lovely of you to say and means a lot. Fingers crossed haha. I'll keep you updated when it happens. Either way the spark is giving me a little excitement in my life.

So I've got a first date tomorrow with some new dude I've only been talking with for a few days. Not excited in the slightest but he seems friendly enough so we'll see how it goes. Meh. We'll call him Mr Powerseller.

@LooUpdate It might be good, good for you giving it a go. Please tell me he doesn't sell energy?

Not sure who said it but I find it hard to believe POF limit ages as I have had 17 years younger men message me?!? Could be my child!