Dating thread 161: (Can anybody find me) somebody to love..?

[Sunshineandflipflops]

The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

At least it's an obvious and easy filter (though unpleasant) to weed out that sort.

Very true! I wouldn't even call it unpleasant just really boring and I immediately think of them as a bit of a joke which isn't exactly a turn on!
I guess someone out there must enjoy it 🤷🏼‍♀️

@StarryUnicorn yes that's true it does filter it out well. Just getting fed up with time wasters. I have had people on this thread look at my profile and say it's good and I look nice, but all I come across is time wasters or pervs. I am talking to one nice guy and last night we video chatted, which was nice, but he does seem a little reserved compared to what I usually go for. I tend to go for very confident men, but that hasn't worked for me, so maybe this is a good change. We are hoping to get a date in next weekend.

@Sunshineandflipflops did Mr SAS know about you and MrArt? Do you think he is trying to win you back or like another poster says, maybe his dating isn't going as well as yours is?

@Eesha He hasn't asked if I'm dating anyone else and I haven't told him but I'd be very surprised if he hasn't been!

@Sunshineandflipflops how would you feel about telling Mr SAS that you are dating someone else? It might flush out whether he is trying to win you back (on his terms) or whether he really is just trying to be friends.

sunshine I'm Midlands too

Have date tonight with MrTax - haven't chatted for ages/much so not sure what to expect. Have another date for sat afternoon too with MrTall. Have also been asked out by another 2 irons for weekend but am busy 🤦‍♀️

@Sunshineandflipflops I personally wouldn't want the temptation but at least you have MrArt to keep you strong!

Still no prospective swipes for me. Seeing FWB this week which should be fun but trying to work out what I want. When we first became friends, he was always chatting to me but feels like we have lapsed into routine now. I guess selfishly I liked the attention at the time. His view is we are an escape from each other's routine lives....I agree but feels like I should still be actively be looking

Had a first date with Mr Orville today. Not a fan tbh. He came across as too geeky and hermity.

I had a second date with Mr Shakes yesterday and I really like him. First time in my life that I have felt both safe and turned on. I was very close to not meeting Mr Orville today because it went so well with Mr Shakes. Not feeling compelled to go on any more dates with anyone other than Mr Shakes, is that healthy?

That's me off to the airport.. Have a great weekend everybody. Those that are on dates, enjoy!

Thanks for info on Match. I think I'll 'rest' my profile after my free days run out.
I had a mutual like, who had also winked, so I messaged him. Guess what! He declined to start the conversation. What was the point of the wink and the like??

NestofSwipers I don't think I'd be holding my breath for Mr Smiley to rearrange another date. And if you do ever get to meet him, he's going to have to work very hard to convince you that he's genuine.

wishywashy6 I'll pinch that line as well for the sex pests. I usually just say 'boring!'

In other news I have a Fab date this weekend. I've met him once for a drink. We decided we weren't suited but have kept in touch occasionally. This is the third time we tried to meet again. Fingers crossed work and life won't get in the way again.

@LooUpdate Of course it's fine not to want to go on dates with anyone else - that's what we're all after isn't it? That one person who makes us want to stop looking for something better 🤷🏻‍♀️. Sounds like exciting times are ahead for you and MrShakes 😁👍

@Averageguy - have a great trip - you may get an unexpected holiday romance who knows?

@AverageGuy enjoy your trip, at least you know the weather is going to be a massive improvement, can't be worse!!!
Have a swipe while you're there, who knows...

@LilyRose88 I don't really see any point in telling him because he doesn't want a relationship with me anyway. If we go to this gig and it comes up I'll say but it doesn't really seem relevant at the moment.

myoldbrain I think me and hairyarsedman concluded it wasn't worth paying for however in 4 months of paying I have dated 4 nice men of which 1 is now a boyfriend so put like that it is worth it. I haven't tried any other dating sites or apps to compare with and only chose Match because a friend of a friend had had luck with it in my area.

That's not what I want to hear, MyOldBrain but I always knew that. If it's not easy now, then will it ever be? I'm going to give him one chance for next week, then that's it if there's another excuse.

myoldbrain I didn't see two pages of comments so can see you've decided against Match.

Both hairyarsedman and I have experience of being rejected by someone who favourited us or winked at us first. It's really annoying!

@NestOfSwipers As a counterpoint to @MyOldBrainStoppedWorking's thoughts, it took a bit of time before a gap opened up for me to meet up with my current date. But we did get the date in the diary early on (and I have a feeling I will always remember that date!). If the messaging is great and easy, there's a chance the date will follow along the same lines. It's a bit tricky at the start to find the date time as when you're busy parents with interests and hobbies time tends to be booked up in the near term.

ps @LooUpdate You really like him, so go for it. Do you think you need to keep others on the go because he may not really like you ? By the sounds of the nerves etc. he really might do, y'know !

That’s totally healthy, @LooUpdate. It’s a good thing that you like him and don’t really want to see anyone else while you get to know him a bit better.

@Sunshineandflipflops I think you should go to the gig, but definitely wear embarrassing underwear and leave your bedroom a state. 😂

I wouldn’t want to miss my favourite band if possible. In fact, I spent years with my ex not being able to go to see them (because he’s an arsehole). I finally did get to see them in January (with MrSG, who was delighted that I wanted to see my favourite band with him; he’d never heard of them before he met me). Actually I bought the tickets ages before that, with no one to go with. I remember talking about having the tickets very early on and saying to MrSG that he could come with me if he still liked me in January.

But seeing your favourite band is awesome whoever you go with. And it’s not like you need to make small talk etc at a gig. 😂

I agree with @HairyArsedMan, @NestOfSwipers. Sometimes it’s tricky to get the first date (or few dates) in to busy lives. But once you’ve decided you like each other you prioritise differently.

That’s how it worked with MrSG and me.

StealthNinjaMum interesting that you've had the same issue of being rejected after winks/favourites on Match.
I looked at who I had favourited and there were men on there that no way I would've said yes to. I rejected everyone outside of about 10miles. Most of my favourites were an hour or more away.

There are quite a few on there that I haven't seen on other sites. But they don't seem in a hurry to want to contact me. I think I'd rather stick to the free sites.

NestOfSwipers Sorry! I think I'm just cynical now. I've heard so many excuses over the last couple of years. Hopefully you can prove me wrong.

@Crustaceans He's actually very good company so small talk wouldn't be a problem.

Oh, and all my underwear is embarrassing 😂

@shitwithsugaron waves back 👋🏼

It's a shame that instead of getting excited about meeting him, I'm being wary. But it would be nice to be proved wrong...