Dating thread 161: (Can anybody find me) somebody to love..?

[Sunshineandflipflops]

The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

It really is a numbers game, particularly for those of us over 50...

I've matched with a couple more women recently, sent messages, mentioning things on their profile, that we have in common, or that I like about them, and am now sitting back and waiting for the complete lack of responses..

Not that I'm feeling down or anything.

shitwith I didn't think your first paragraph was patronising at all. I will call my Friday date Ms PT. We are going for a meal which is quite brave for a first date but as we have lots in common we have both agreed that we have plenty to talk about, so there shouldn't be any awkward silences. She is into sport and she also runs a lot, plus she currently has a foot injury! There are a few other similarities but I don't want to post too many details as it may be outing. I have never actually had a relationship with a women, but after my failed threesome earlier this year I have been thinking about exploring that side of me. I will be honest with Ms PT (well actually I won't mention the failed threesome) and tell her that I have never had a relationship with a woman but have always had feelings for women and have had some 'encounters' with women, but all my past relationships have been with men. I can't remember whether she said she was bi or gay on her profile, and I can't log back onto the site because I think it infected my home PC with a virus so I deleted it. The site is called Pink Sofa if anyone is interested.

@AverageGuy I am over 50 too and I feel your pain.

@LilyRose88 I think that if he's the one with car problems, he should suggest somewhere he can get to by public transport. You know where I live, it's almost impossible not to have a car! He's in a more populated area. Maybe I should call his bluff and say, "I can go anywhere, which pub is most convenient for you to get to in your current predicament?"

readies herself for a good telling off

I might be going to a gig on Sunday with Mr SAS. I know, I know BUT it's a band I love love love and chances to see them are very few and far between and he is the only other person I know who likes them and he's asked and I'm weak BUT I think I can do this gig buddy thing with him...hides

@NestOfSwipers I agree, turn the tables and get him to suggest somewhere because you will be driving anyway, but as he lives near transport he can easily get out and about without his car. I do dislike the feeling of not knowing whether they are time wasters or genuine that seems to be so common with OLD.

@Sunshineandflipflops Tut, tut...Make sure you read back through your posts about how shit he made you feel before the gig if you need a kick up the arse as to why you absolutely should not think about rekindling things in a moment of weakness... here endeth the lesson.

I know @JeSuisPrest, which is why I won't get romantically involved with him again. He's not going to change his feelings on monogamy and neither am I so still a stalemate and a pretty big one.

I did genuinely enjoy his company though and would like to try and still be able to do that now and again without the other stuff.

@Sunshineandflipflops I think you'd be crazy to go. It will probably end up in bed he'll get what he wants and you'll be lest feeling crap again.

We can't end up in bed at a gig!

But yes, I probably am crazy but i always do the right thing and for once I want to do what I want to do, not what I should do.

I guess I just need to stick to "no".

It's Fleetwood Mac @shitwithsugaron. My all time favourite band in the whole world.

@Sunshineandflipflops I honestly think it's too soon for you to be thinking about "just being friends" with him. It's only been a few weeks and things are still quite raw. What will you do if he says he thinks he's made a mistake and he'd like to be exclusive with you?

Not sad at all @shitwithsugaron. Chris Martin is a very talented guy and my daughter loves them too.

Yes, I got hurt but it wasn't intentional on his part and I'm not excusing or minimising and I would probably be giving exactly the same advice to someone else but...Fleetwood Mac...

Actually I did go and see Bryan Adams with my ex 3 months after we'd split. I'd bought him the tickets for Christmas and I was buggered if I was missing out because he was shagging someone else. 18 till I die!

Sunshine I've got a slightly different opinion, the only way you will know if you can socialise with him without wanting to jump his bones is to go.
Go and enjoy yourself (and exercise some self control 😂).

I also went to a gig with an ex many years ago as I wasn't missing out on it just because he was an idiot. It was Bruce Springsteen at Earls Court in 1999 .

NestofSwipers I hope your date happens. I would wait to see if he says he has his car before offering to drive somewhere else.

LilyRose88 good luck with your date. Hopefully you'll find a new friend if nothing more.

Sunshine difficult decision. If you think you can go to the gig as friends then do it. But make sure you leave without him. And then walk away from him completely.
I've tried being friends with an ex. It didn't work and I just ended up feeling worse about myself.

Is anyone on Match?
I've got a 3 day free trial. So far I've had hundreds view my profile. A couple of winks.
And 3 messages who were all at the other end of the country to me. I'm south, they were north of Birmingham!

My question is....is it worth paying for? So far it doesn't seem like it.

What is men getting over sexual so quickly in a conversation. I don't mind a bit of flirty banter and i'm certainly not a prude. It's really putting me off.

I struggle to find questions to ask and start to get bored early. Anyone got any advice on how to ask good questions when talking over messages?