@Tralalaladingdong I'm going to disagree with @Ant330 on this one - I think that's not a fair question to be asking 1 week in and not having met. The only agenda I took into a date was to discover a great rapport, warmth, and attraction. After that point when you establish you do like each other, genuinely, it's an inevitable consequence that you will be curious about compatibility in the bedroom and attitudes surrounding that. I'm not a prude but just think talking about it, rather than feeling it (oo-err), is forcing the issue early on. However context is everything and he may have made that remark in a throwaway comment about the vagaries of dating.
@KhaleesiTargaryen I shut down dating apps when I like someone. It just makes sense, I don't see it as over-investing; the apps and their inhabitants will still be there if it doesn't work out. Why do I need them if I like someone ? If it comes up in conversation I will mention my attitude to it but don't expect it to be reciprocated. I hope it does work out with your date !
@MyOldBrainStoppedWorking Don't give up, keep your profiles online but just get on with your life and only deviate from it if someone special comes up. I know the feeling you describe, and it's good to acknowledge your self worth and the self belief that you have an enormous amount to give to the right person. Please cherish that about yourself and it will show through to them when they show up.
I've seen your profile and you are going to hit it off with someone, your age will be irrelevant to the right person. We discussed the sporting side of things in relation to our mutual profile reviews way back and I made the decision to leave that side of me upfront in mine. Yours is similar and in my opinion works.
Like you I was on Tinder and PoF and as a relatively secure with my appearance, 6ft 3, 48 year old bloke, solvent, highly educated etc. I attracted next to no interest. I'm not trying to say I was entitled to interest either but feel it's got to be the demographics of those two platforms that that have worked against you and I (and others on the thread). I think putting yourself out there over more platforms will help a bit, but it may need a change of mindset to cope with the increased scope for feeling rejected. I'm feeling lucky at the moment; I've met someone I really, really like, but in terms of numbers over the period I've been online, I've always thought in terms of quality of attraction, not quantity, and that has worked for me alongside a secure feeling about myself and what I felt I could offer.
I've seen similar thoughts/exasperation from @NestOfSwipers and @KhaleesiTargaryen in terms of the reception to their profiles. Believe me, you are all really attractive women that deserve to meet someone decent. However I think we are subtly persuaded thar there are an abundance of people out there for us on the apps. Remember that all these profiles you see, may well be engaged in a chat or dating situation with one or two others so they are not truly available. Some of them may be sleeping too, that is, not actively swiping. Some are casual swipe yes on anyone in sight; some are selective sorts like me. And that's all happening even before you consider whether that person is close enough, likes you back etc. I think the swiping apps are particularly cruel in this respect as once you've made your snap judgement that person disappears from sight for absolutely ages.
Ok, apologies, but I felt all your pain ... essay over ! 