Dating thread 161: (Can anybody find me) somebody to love..?

[Sunshineandflipflops]

The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.

1. Develop a thick skin.
2. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
3. It's all BS until it actually happens.
4. Trust your gut instinct.
5. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
6. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
7. If it's not fun, stop.
8. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Sunshine delete his number and any record of texts and chat!

I have a date tomorrow with Mr Banter, we are going for a walk and maybe lunch. Not feeling very hopeful with this one, feeling a bit run down at the moment and I keep choosing cake over gym so probably looking fat too.

I need to find more irons but can’t find anyone interesting.

@Lovemusic33 I'm sure you look fantastic so don't worry. You and I sound quite similar in that we both worry about looking fat and have not been exercising as much as usual recently, which makes us feel fat even though we probably look great .

I am at the stage of not really feeling it with OLD after my latest let down. I have a few conversations going on but they are so boring and I really can't be bothered. I may meet up next weekend with a guy who popped out of the woodwork recently having gone silent on me a few months ago, and there is a new local guy who has messaged me a couple of times, but he has gone quiet now.

I am off to a family party today and have nothing planned for tomorrow. I am going to see if there are any shows or good movies on tomorrow as I need something to lift my spirits and Netflix can only do so much.

Lily your right, I have been too busy this week to go to the gym, have also eaten bad food as it’s quick and easy, now I’m worried I have gained weight. Also lost my OLD mojo after Mr Dog, my heart isn’t really in it but I shall see how tomorrow’s date goes, might be just what I need.

Reading between the lines @Ant330 are you meaning 'met' in the dating sense ? I can see how that could provoke an 'oh for fucks sake' moment.

@KhaleesiTargaryen The flat tyre guy ...sigh... blocking was the right thing to do, shame precision tactical strikes can't be issued to block such knobs from access to online dating. Re: date I have babysitting issues. Getting one is very much like online dating but worse in terms of the initial stakes, as you are entrusting your home and offspring to them. It's also replete with no shows, ghosting, unreturned messages. Actually scratch that - It's just 'online' everything isn't it ? I'd probably get the same if I was after a plumber !

LooUpdate it doesn't, poor explanation without wanting to give detail.
It was a moment of idiotic paranoia and lack of trust that is most unlike me but amazingly I haven't fucked it up, and we're arranging next weekend already as we're child free all day Sat and Sunday morning

I'm off to the village festival later and going to be secretly scanning the crowds for any single men. Last year was baking and the field was full of scantily clad bodies,but this year everyone will be in coats and squashed into tents no doubt if the rain continues......I will get some cider in me and try and flirt. Which I'm hopeless at!

Cant believe shit and jesus are at their 8 wk anniversary already,where has that time gone.

Hairy that's what my overactive imagination conjured up, mainly because I know how many times he was unfaithful to his wife, but no it was met as in just met.
It started as a "god can you imagine if..." thought that snowballed 😂
As I said, idiot!
If there is a silver lining, she said at least she knows I definitely like her.

@HairyArsedMan aw that's a bummer. I know that most local nursery staff will do babysitting and they're obviously well vetted etc. Maybe enquire there? And you'd get to meet them (before committing) too.
Fingers crossed for you.

Yeah, flat tyre guy did send me a pic of his car but when he called he seemed to find it almost funny... "I can't beleive this is happening on our first date" type of thing.

I am cathartically cleaning the house today and then might pop out for a long hard run or cycle later. My apetite has vanished so that might bring it back.

@ccgirr, @lifegoes, @JeSuisPrest you are all totally right. I decided that whatever the reason, I’m not comfortable with it, so I’ve ended the chat. Look at me, recognising my boundaries and sticking to them - this thread is a life changer😁

The thing is @KhaleesiTargyen is it takes 20 mins to change to the spare,which you've got to do anyway to get to the KwikFit or wherever. So he could have asked if you were able to sit tight for a bit, or took a taxi. Anyhow maybe I am being too harsh. First dates can easily go wrong - the place I suggested turned out to be closed when we both arrived, even though I'd called in advance to check. I take it the garden centre was at least open ?

Thanks on the sitter ideas - I am using a website where people register their credentials of that nature so that takes some element of risk out of things. Enjoy the run/bike thing.

Thankyou to the posters that replied to my post about the sleep swearing thing.
He stayed last night and all was fine so I'm glad you all made me see sense and that I didn't finish with him over something that hopefully will not happen very often.
He's so lovely and the first person I've wanted to have a relationship with in a long time.Well and truly smitten 😁

@Shelly111 you mention that you and your FWB are not using protection. Sorry to sound like an aged Auntie but it makes sense to use protection in an FWB situation, or any new dating situation. I know that it can be awkward to ask a guy to wear a condom but if he is decent he should be prepared to use protection. I was guilt tripped into having unprotected sex with my last guy from OLD and I did go for a full STI check-up when we split just to make sure. Everything was clear luckily but I talked to the doctor at the clinic about the challenges of getting guys to use condoms. I am past the age of being able to get pregnant, but if you are younger than me then maybe try saying that you are using them for protection against pregnancy, as her advice was that most guys will be happy to use them if they think the girl may otherwise get pregnant.

@HairyArsedMan yes, when he called I expected him to say that, as it would have been easy enough to wander round, but he opted to cancel. He suggested I meet him at his car but I thought that was a bit odd...

Hope you get the sitter sorted and date 3 happens soon 😁

Worst case khalessi he should have asked for a new time to meet. Next...

About a week ago I thought I'd give my Fab profile other try.
Wish I hadn't bothered! I managed to get 2 dates arranged. One never showed up. Haven't heard from him at all.

The other I'm supposed to meet tomorrow. I sent him a face pic on Fab and we carried on chatting.
Last night we were on WA exchanging messages for a couple of hours. He asked for a pic. I sent him the same one. Haven't heard from him since. So I'm assuming that date isn't happening.

I sat at a friend's house this afternoon and cried because I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I can't get matches on Tinder, very few messages on POF. I've had a few social meets from Fab but they're not interested in seeing me again.

I have plenty to do in my life but it's not the same as having one special person.
Apologies for the moan. I just needed to offload a bit.

@Ginmel yes, true! 👋🏻
I pretty much blocked him straight after the phone call. Just felt a bit stunned as the garden centre was on the edge of town and obviously I’d made a bit of an effort. Date secured for tomorrow with a new guy though.

@MyOldBrainStoppedWorking I’ve had a few cries today... rejection really hurts.
But then I remember that I’ve rejected people too. Sometimes we just have a change of heart. I’ve just been trying to think kind thoughts about myself.
I think, as others have said, it’s a numbers game.
Are you quite strict with your criteria?

Mr Art is out again tonight. We were chatting again and then he said "I'm just about to meet my mate, enjoy". Guess that's that again tonight then 😐

Not only should I have been at a gig with Mr SAS but I have no-one to chat with. Bottle of wine and Netflix it is.

@MyOldBrainStoppedWorking Sorry to hear you're feeling a bit down about it all. OLD can be a real self esteem killer.

Have you tried widening your criteria, as someone suggested?

I have been lurking for sometime, plucking up the courage to post.... so here I am.
I have been online dating for a couple of months, haven’t met up with anyone, in fact nothing more than a few messages!
Until last night, matched with someone on bumble who lives close by, we had a few messages and arranged to meet for a coffee today, which we did.
Spent an hour laughing over coffee and have arranged a cinema date later in the week.
The thing is, if I’m honest, we share similar interests, professions and humour. All good. And he messaged saying some lovely compliments. However, I didn’t feel a spark, am I expecting too much on a first date? Am all new to this. My EH and I split last year and our marriage for the last three years was more like brother and sister. I am busy with raising a DS and with work, I just want mr perfect to appear at my door 😂😂

@BinksLinks Hi and welcome.
I think that sounds quite positive for a first date! I've never had that crazy spark on a first date but if it's gone well, like yours did then I have always agreed to another and usually they have led to a few more. I find feelings grow as I get to know someone better so wouldn't write someone off if I had a good time with them and didn't find them unattractive.

@BinksLinks yeah, if you get on well etc I always reckon it's worth a second one. Just dont keep going after that if theres still nothing. A kiss is sometimes the decider tbh.

@Sunshineandflipflops I really hate the initial texting game, trying to suss em out....I'm working and Netflix. Solidarity!

I'm taking a OLD break till august....I have a lot of work on which finished then and literally no time to fit dating in. It's on days like these I really wish I had a fwb

Sorry to hear that so many of you are having a bad time with dating.

I have had another lovely date with Mr Runner and we are now exclusive boyfriend / girlfriend (his words). After what's happened on this thread with others I don't feel I can trust him yet but after all my doubts it does seem like he really likes me.