Why does he do this?

[Sausageroll123]

Been with partner for 2 years. Kids involved (not jointly). We live separately.

Anyway. If we ever have an argument it always ends up with me being treated the silent treatment until I have basically harassed him in to talking to me again.

Currently happening right now. I saw he'd liked a photo of a semi naked girl on social media and said it upset me slightly. He turned round and said this isn't working, and has now ignored me all day.

Whenever I bring up something I'm unhappy about that he's done, I get the same 'this isn't working', and then however many days of silence until I can get him out of it.

I just don't understand why he does it?

You stood there for 30 minutes, whilst he was inside ignoring you?

Bloody hell STOP chasing after him. Get some self respect, and bin him.

I really thought he'd answer the door as in the grand scheme of things what I said wasn't even that bad!

You knocked/were at his door for THIRTY MINUTES? Think about how that makes you look to him. Your desperation to have him gives him a lot of power. He sounds like a twat but it isnt really on to wait outside someones house for half hour. Hes has told you he wants things to end. Trust he knows his own mind.

Just dont let him try and tell you otherwise in a few days. He made his choice. Accept it and dont accept him changing his mind when it suits him.

He's not actually finished with me though, just gone off on one of his silent ones...

Also he could genuinely report you for harrassment if you are sending messages (not clear if youre just sending one every day or two or more) and waiting outside his house for extended periods of time. Delete his number!!

Are you taking anything on board at all, op ?

OP I'm embarrassed for you.

Get a backbone and tell him to get to fuck.

I'm not sending him messages at all. And just went round there once tonight. Technically we're still together, he's just having one of his silent treatment episodes

"This isnt working" is finishing with you. Its just a passive way of doing it. He hasnt said "we need a few days break". I would interpret that as him splitting up with you. what else can it mean? Especially in context of him then ignoring you

This is what he's done a few times. Says it's not working, ignores me for a few days then starts talking to me again like nothing ever happened

OP you sound desperate to remain in this relationship, but why do you want to spend your life begging a man to stop ignoring you and monitoring what you say? Have some self respect.

Oh OP. Sympathies. I think something is broken now that cannot be fixed without significant damage to your sense of self worth

You should txt him now and tell him 'This isn't working. Don't contact me again'

He has ALL the power, not that anyone should have the power in a relationship. You should really look at why you allow yourself to be treated like this. He does it because you let him do it.

Have more respect for yourself. Don't allow anyone to treat you like this

"This relationship isn't working" is his way of manipulating you into not questioning him when he behaves badly.

You need to call his bluff and agree with him and end it because he'll play you like a puppet every time he chooses to be a lecherous, sexist dickhead.

Ltb or this is your life.
And you drag dd along for the abusive ride too.
You have a duty of care to your dd.
You owe this twat fuck all.
He has shown you what you mean to him by leaving you standing like a fool on his doorstep.. What more clarification do you actually need??

Why does he do it?
Because he wants to.
He enjoys doing it.
Why do you want to be with someone who enjoys that?

You really stood pathetically knocking on his door for 30 minutes letting him ignore you?

You could face that 30 minutes researching counselling or books on abuse - things that will actually help.

This man is a sulker and manipulative with it. You're playing right into his hands. I doubt he'll change.

The best thing you could do is tell him you can't take it and want to cool things. Then be sure you do cool the relationship!

You're worth more. Two years 'together' is not that long, you'll get over it and he'll go on to torment some other poor woman. He's a bully.

He's never been abusive, we get on great, he just seems to have real issues with communication

No. He doesn't "have issues with communication"

He is making himself perfectly clear but you are not listening.

OP, please have some self-respect. Standing outside someone's door for 30 minutes? Why do you do this to yourself? This person is playing you like a fiddle.

Trade him in for something better.

Hmm... So do you OP. You're not listening or taking on board anything anyone is saying to you on this thread!

Sorry but this is a form of emotional blackmail, either you agree with him or he will ghost you. Which is a way of making sure you do what he says. That's really not a healthy relationship.

You've asked questions and people have given you answers yet you're ignoring everyone and basically saying "but he's a great guy".

He's not. Great guys don't treat people they're supposed to love like this.
If he gave a shit about you, he wouldn't be looking at half naked women, telling you it's not working and leaving you on a doorstep for half an hour.

I am listening and I really appreciate everything every one is saying. I just love this man

What do you love about him?