Why does he do this?

[Sausageroll123]

Been with partner for 2 years. Kids involved (not jointly). We live separately.

Anyway. If we ever have an argument it always ends up with me being treated the silent treatment until I have basically harassed him in to talking to me again.

Currently happening right now. I saw he'd liked a photo of a semi naked girl on social media and said it upset me slightly. He turned round and said this isn't working, and has now ignored me all day.

Whenever I bring up something I'm unhappy about that he's done, I get the same 'this isn't working', and then however many days of silence until I can get him out of it.

I just don't understand why he does it?

Will this op come back do we think ?

He knows you'll come running. Don't do it this time. Leave him to his sulk!

He sounds like a right wanker.

Don’t dance to his tune anymore

Op I think you are with my ex....
Best day ever when I told him to move out.

@Sausageroll123
How do you feel about him extending the silent treatment to your daughter. As others have said, you really are setting her up for a lifetime of compliance to any man's controlling behaviour.
Just have a think about his other behaviours and think critically about control of another person. I'll bet there is far more but you can't see it yet.
If I thought that my child had a good relationship with anybody and that person ignored them. Then I'd bin them without a shadow of doubt.

Sounds like my bloody ex. Well he was an entitled arse that used stonewalling to control me. Ran off with another woman and cheated. She can put up with his childish bollocks now.

AnyFucker I'm guessing op won't be back. Too many home truths have been articulated. The op asked a question and has had many very blunt answers so hopefully they will now be examining their partners behaviour.

This really isn't a hard one to figure out.
He does something horrible. You call him out on it.
He ignores you
You beg / please / apologise
He starts talking to you
You're so grateful you never go back to discuss the thing you were annoyed about in the first place.
He doesn't have to change his behaviour at all.

It's called conditioning. You're well on your way (if you haven't started yet) to picking which issue is bad enough that the silent treatment is worth it, so you let a lot of things go.

It's all downhill from here. Why are you trying to figure him out / talk him around? Why aren't you furious that he not only treats you this way but is ignoring your DD?

He is trying to control the situation and you. If you want to stay with him? Refuse to cook or clean for him while he refuses to communicate.

He's training you like a dog
Stop 'talking him round' ffs

We're in a committed relationship
You are, I don't think he is. Life is too short to put up with this crap, have a little pride and don't make first contact, or any contact at all. He's a jerk.

Why? He enjoys making you feel powerless, insignificant and uncertain. His ego gets a huge boost when you chase him to talk him round. Then, the original subject is conveniently never mentioned again. To him, it’s a total win.

How despicable that he is now drawing your daughter into his manipulative power trip.

So you can’t have an adult conversation about stuff that annoys you for fear of upsetting him and him giving you the silent treatment? He’s abusive and not a good partner. He’s a twat who shuts you down any time you say something he doesn’t want to hear and it’s impacting on your children now. Nasty wanker.

Leave him.

Why?

You answered your own question. What you argued about is never discussed afterwards. A great way if you never been heard or acknowledged and this will probably happen with everything he doesn't want to talk about.

An ex partner used to do that. She would say 'I don't want to talk about it' and walk off and I we would probably never discuss it again, usually something I wanted to discuss.

If you don't but a stop to it now, then welcome to your life with him.

I'm back. My kids aren't with me tonight so I thought I'd pop round his to try and sort this out. I stood knocking on the door for 30 minutes (he was in there), and did he come to the door? No. Feel even worse now

Oh he will have loved that keeping you on the doorstep, bet he feels like a real man now. You are an idiot. But only you can come to that conclusion. Start making a social life of your own, you could have been in a pub tonight with a mate having a laugh.

I don't know who the fuck he thinks he is

Oh OP. You're not in a committed relationship, I'm afraid to say. You need to cut him loose. He is a poor excuse of a partner for you and your kids. Do you really want to continue running back to him for the next however many years? It will only get worse....

2 words. Get rid.

Op if it was your daughter in this situation with a man ignoring her and invalidating her perfectly valid feelings about his frankly sleazy behaviour would you tell her to chase him? To do whatever she could to win him back? Or would you tell her to raise her standards and find someone who deserved her? Because by chasing him this is what you are teaching her - that men can walk all over her, just like he does you.

That’s fucking awful. Who wants to humiliate someone they love by leaving them on the doorstep like that? Ugh.

That is 30 more minutes of your life spent letting him demonstrate how little respect he has for you

30 minutes. Add it to all the other hours, days, weeks, months, years you will never get back.

For what ? So he can squash your self respect just that little bit smaller

A child free evening totally wasted on a loser like this.

Strangers on the internet think you are worth more than he does. Why is that ?

Jesus why are you chasing this man child prick?

He cannot bear to be criticised or questioned and thinks he's so far above you that you must be forced into apologetic submission if ever you do dare to even suggest a criticism. That's no relationship.