Why does he do this?

[Sausageroll123]

Been with partner for 2 years. Kids involved (not jointly). We live separately.

Anyway. If we ever have an argument it always ends up with me being treated the silent treatment until I have basically harassed him in to talking to me again.

Currently happening right now. I saw he'd liked a photo of a semi naked girl on social media and said it upset me slightly. He turned round and said this isn't working, and has now ignored me all day.

Whenever I bring up something I'm unhappy about that he's done, I get the same 'this isn't working', and then however many days of silence until I can get him out of it.

I just don't understand why he does it?

Oh Sausage don't feel bad. People really do care about what happens and that comes out as frustration.

Stay off if it's affecting your moods but do know that people are here and care about you.

Practise lots of self care Sausage. Make sure you eat something.
Whatever the outcome of this you will be ok

@Sausageroll123 I do hope you are feeling OK, I have been following this thread and very much hope you are coping and feeling just a tiny bit better each day?

@Sausageroll123 Hope you’re ok. Please take good care of yourself and your kids. Wishing you clarity as you sort through things.

I hope you've had some closure by now OP, and are moving on and your kids are ok too. I can't believe a grown man would act like such a child, shocking really.

I can't believe I made this post nearly 3 years ago. Despite being told over and over again that I was being abused I stayed with him for another 2 and something years. Put up with endless amounts of being ignored for trivial things. Being gas lighted. Criticised. Talked over. And then one day we were having lunch when he randomly decided that he didn't want to have to 'deal' with me anymore, walked out and I never heard from again. I so wish I had listened to everyone here telling me to leave. My self esteem was non existent, and it took me months to feel any kind of normal again. Even now I'm still struggling with some things.

I just wanted to come back here in case any of those posters are still on here to say I'm sorry that I didn't listen at the time. And to maybe show others that it never gets better even though you hope it will! It's safe to say it's put me off men for life!

I went out with someone who was so lovely, my kids loved him and all was good…until he started doing this behaviour. I can assure you he won’t improve..change..it gets worse as they mould you into doing what they want. I’d walk away quickly..i wish I had

Op, thank you for coming back to update. I wish you a happy life full of fun.

I really appreciate you updating. I've found emotional abuse a real challenge and it's taking me a long time to educate myself and open my eyes to what is really going on. It just takes the time it takes. And now you're out, congratulations. Maybe read some Lundy Bancroft and Patricia Evans so you don't get involved with another one. All the best

Because your allowing it, thats why.
Some people use silence like a weapon, instead of trying to repair the relationship he cold shoulders you which is really irresponsible and immature.
What future have you got to look forward too ?

Thanks for the update Sausage. I’m sorry to hear he continued to treat you like this for so long. I hope you can find some peace now.

This book helps answer the question in your thread title:
[Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men] [By: Lundy Bancroft] [September, 2003] www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0037W1NU4/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_i_KWD4D46YT311XEDE5XK0?tag=mumsnetforu03-21