Honestly OP, having read all your posts...
You sound like you have very little insight into how other people think and feel. A few decades ago it used to be OK to throw tantrums and be awful if you were older, folk were meant to forgive you and excuse you... that time is over now. You're responsible for the things you say. The whole dog fiasco, I can see why you didn't want to tell the story. You sound like a stroppy toddler and your poor DD must have been dreading seeing you.
You go on about how you were going to visit her in order to show you love her.... but you threw a strop at her via text while on the way there? Threatened to dump the dog at hers? Jabbed her regarding upcoming planned visits, let her know that you were going to withdraw future visits because of how shit this one was?
Do you understand that when you act like a knob, people don't want to be around you? That's a natural consequence of being a knob. You are the mum, you're not meant to act like a nasty, petulant child toward your own children. You report your behaviour re the dog as if it were normal - that tells me that you probably act a bit like this fairly regularly? Do you understand that if that's the case, you are VERY LUCKY that your children talk to you at all.
Another perspective to add to this...
You had 4 children with a violent man, and all of them spent their tenderest years in a violent household. My DGM did the same as you, and of course those children developed serious emotional problems that they can never shake, that are foundational to their personalities. Your children will not be any different. It would be a miracle for any of them to be unscathed by the choice you made.
It pains me to hear you describe your DD as dramatic and difficult. YOU chose to have kids with a violent bully... YOU brought children into the world where they learned painful emotional patterns. If (big if) your DD is indeed dramatic, do you understand that she's come by that very honestly?
You talk as if you are a frail and feeble old duck whose children should be kinder to her... the thing is though, it's as plain as day that you are one of those people who will never be blamed for a single thing. It's not possible to be kind to someone like that, not consistently. You're the kind of person who exhausts goodwill.
I don't know if you can change the way you are, but if you can you should. People who exhaust the goodwill of others end up so very lonely in the end. Take responsibility for your words and actions, do better, be a better person... or at least leave your DD alone.