Is he attracted to me?

[TickTockClock4]

Married male friend. He calls me for chats 30-90 minutes at a time. Never when he’s with his wife. He hasn’t crossed a line in telling me his feelings but we talk intimately about my relationship and invariably sex comes up in the conversation. Does he fancy me or is he just being a good friend?

We’re in our late thirties. We met after he got married.

Yes I think she would be surprised that he has the time to chat to me.

Naive, maybe. We get on well. That’s all I know.

He likes you. No man will spend that amount of time on the phone, that's effort.

Yes I think she would be surprised that he has the time to chat to me.

So why do you believe he doesnt have time to talk to other women?

What you know is, that he is lying to his wife. You know he is hiding how friendly you are. You know he is deceiving his wife. You know he is a sick enough shit to introduce you both. You know you fancy him and want him to fancy you back. You know that neither of you give a shit about how his wife would feel.

All to massage his and your egos. It's very sad that you are falling for all this, want to take it further (and you do, because you wouldnt be excusing his behaviour) just so you can feel good about yourself.

How do you know he doesn't talk to other women? People tell you what you want to hear, especially for a quick shag. Wise up a bit op. People's lives get blown apart for this kind of nonsense.

I don’t think he wants a shag. I don’t even know if he likes me beyond friendship.

I can see how this might be an ego massaging exercise for him but how is it remotely massaging my ego? I have no idea how he feels about me.

You're playing with fire.

You find him attractive and want to know if he finds you attractive too- even though you're both married and apparently have no intention of having an affair?

This will all end in tears

How long has this been going on?

Is it you again, OP? You post exactly in the same way. It's very sad.

He doesn't want you, if he did he would progress it, wedding ring or not. You're obviously not bothered that he's married so there's nothing to stop him is there? And he still doesn't go there.

There's your answer - again. Like all the other posters (and threads) telling you the same.

This is the first time I have posted about my situation. I don’t want anything to happen. I was just interested to hear someone else’s perspective on it. Thanks.

You think you are special to him. He lies to his wife to speak to you. You think he might fancy you.

All this is for your ego.

What you should be thinking is that you have a 'friend' who has shown you he doesnt mind lying and deceiving people. As long as it's in his best interest. Not really someone who can trust ir would be good friend.

The minute his wife finds our, he will drop you

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3592207-please-help-me-see-sense-this-man-is-vile Have a gander at the pain this stuff causes op.

How is it for my ego? I genuinely don’t understand. Do you mean that I find it flattering? Because I don’t. I feel unsure.

Of course you find it flattering.

Why are else are you putting up with this?

Why do you need to be sure of anything?

He is married. You want confirmation that he fancies you because it will make you feel good. You wont cut contact then, even if he does. Why would you want a married man to fancy you?

I don’t find it flattering. I enjoy his company but he does nothing to flatter me as such. He’s not telling me that he’s attracted to me. He’s just talking to me as a friend. I’m attracted to him but I don’t know how he feels about me. I suspect he feels nothing.

You're just LOVING this, aren't you OP? Endlessly navel-gaving about pursuing somebody whom you know to be married, if he would only give you the go ahead.

That's pretty disgusting of you given that this board has many examples of posters who've suffered cheating spouses.

I'm not going to indulge you any more. I hope you get knocked back by him hard and fast.

He's calling you for lengthy chats which have a sexual element (even if your not discussing sex with each other you are discussing sex) and he only calls when his wife isn't there.

In my opinion he's already crossed a line and so have you.

Would you be fine for your husband or his wife to listen in to your chats? If not because you feel they "would get the wrong idea" then Imo you've crossed a line.

How will you fix your marriage when you're discussing your sex live with a married man you fancy?

Cut contact and sort out your marriage or do the right thing and leave. I'm suspecting this is already an emotional affair and is likely to turn physical.

I’m not pursuing him. I just wondered how he feels. I would never have an affair with anyone. I have never cheated in my life and I don’t intend to start now. It’s not wrong to wonder if someone has feelings for me if I don’t intend to act on it.

You enjoy the company of a liar.

You enjoy that at some point his wife will probably find out he is hiding the phone calls and see you as the other woman.

You definitely do enjoy the 'oh does he fancy me' section.

You want confirmation for your ego. R because you want it to go further. That's more important than anything else.

I'll bite for the last time.

What would it achieve knowing he has feelings for you?

What would you do if he said "oh ticktockclock4, you're amazing and I'm falling in love with you???"

You are very tiring OP.

What has he lied about?

I don’t want to upset his wife. I just enjoy chatting to my friend.

What would it achieve knowing he has feelings for you?
I think he’s great. If he felt the same way about me then it would feel really nice. It doesn’t mean we have to act on it. However, I honestly don’t think he does have feelings for me. He’s just being a good, supportive friend.

What has he lied about?

You are either a bit dim or purposely being a dick.

Hiding things from your wife is lying.

When she asks 'what did you do today?' Do you think he ever says 'oh had a nice long chat with TickTock'

No he doesnt . Deceiving is lying. And you are party to it.

You do want to upset the wife. You want to know if her husband fancies you you spend time talking to him knowing she is unaware. You know this would upset her and do it anyway

What would you do if he said "oh ticktockclock4, you're amazing and I'm falling in love with you???"
Well that depends on whether I believed him or not. Even if he felt that way I don’t think he’d ever say. He’s a good man and wouldn’t hurt his wife.

We met after he got married.

And why is that relevant?