Why do men cheat?

[birling]

If they're "happy"? First loves, intensive relationship, two children

Why cheat?

Is it Gary at work he’s shagging? They seem to have a lot in common.

I copy what everyone else has said really. I think if they are truly happy and love their wives and families and they can get away with it, they will still do it (If they are that way inclined - I know many men who wouldn't) Also boredom etc... However noting your comment earlier

So in theory, "the best of both worlds"
Would that be feasible? How can it be dealt with if this is the case?

I think the only way this would work is an agreement for an open marriage but you would have to be totally open and transparent with this if you decided you could handle it. I couldn't but I do know someone and their marriage is totally open as they do not believe monogamy works...

What if they relish having partner and children but also want the thrill of a new women and the excitement of dating?

So what if they do? I'm guessing many of us - men and women - would love to enjoy new adventures while having the security of a family to come home to. But by the time we reach adulthood, most of us understand that we can't have our cake and eat it too.

Would that be feasible? How can it be dealt with if this is the case?

How can it be 'dealt with'? Perhaps by being a grown-up and understanding that sometimes we have to make sacrifices for the things we really value in life. If you truly love and respect your partner, you won't cheat.

Ego

The same reason women cheat.

•Selfishness
•Think they'll get away with it.
•Entitlement
•Unhappy relationship
•Attention
•Ego boost

Because some ppl are so confident their OH will stay even on discovery.

A married woman who was sleeping with her DHs boss, told him, her H loved her too much and wouldn't leave even if he found out....and she was right.

The list is endless really.

Because they are selfish

Opportunity ego sex because they want too etc
Done are not happy but I think alot want both

My friend asked her ex, who told her she was the perfect wife, a great mother, and the relationship was wonderful. So why cheat then? According to him, because the other woman was new. After 10 years of marriage and 2 kids his wife would never be new again.

(Some) men think like that.

Same reasons as women I imagine.

Exactly the same reasons women do.

Women cheat too!

But I would say, people cheat because they settle and that eventually catches up with them!?!

I don’t think a couple need to necessarily be unhappy, I think varying sex drives can be a factor. Particularly after a long relationship, babies etc. If one wants less sex than the other, and are flattered by flirting with someone else, it could easily lead to more.
Obviously as adults, we need to weigh up whether it’s worth the hurt it would cause a partner.

It don't hurt if they don't know

Exactly the same reason women do. Because we want to have sex someone different!

Rather than say they are not happy they are cowards and can destroy the relationship. Often the OW gets more blame for "stealing" the man, so diffuses the situation for him. Plus an instant soft pillow to land on.

A lot if man bashing going on here. Probably from people who have been cheated on or dislike men.

As people have said men and women cheat, if you look at the stats it's probably equal but don't quote me on that.

I think cheating is a very complicated thing and not all men do it because they think they just can. Another poster gave a good list. I don't think it is always straight forward but yes there are a lot out there that just can't help themselves.

I think a lot of the time, it is down to the knowledge that despite what they say, their DW would not leave them whatever happens. This is played out on here time and time again. I think a woman’s default on many instances is to keep the family together whatever her personal views. I read stories on here and am amazed by some of the decisions to stay despite the most despicable behaviour.

Because a cheater thinks that they can have their cake and eat it.

Because they think they wont get caught

Ego boost

Mid life crisis

And this isnt just aimed at men.

A lot if man bashing going on here. Probably from people who have been cheated on or dislike men.

Oh go away...

I nearly cheated on my sons father when I was early 20.we hadn't had sex in over a year and he clearly had no fomenting interest in me. I ended up taking comfort in a work colleague and we became close.
It was the wake up call I needed.
We split not long after my son was born as I wasn't going to stay in a sexless relationship like some 70 Yr old.

Because sexual attraction exists? Monotony is dull? Life happens?

I'm amazed that so few people cheat tbh. Monogamy takes work and guts.

Some people cheat because they're unhappy in their relationship and it's a way to meet their emotional/sexual needs or a way to get out of the relationship. In my experience, most people line someone else up before they end a relationship, especially men (sorry but seen it for myself so many times).

I do also believe that some people will always cheat if they can get away with it, not because they're unhappy but just because they can. Some people are just drawn to the thrill/excitement/ego boost. So I suppose it depends from person to person, some people cheat because they're unhappy some people cheat even when they're happy with their partner and have no intentions of leaving, said partner but cheat 'just because they can.'

@MorrisZapp I get that people are sexually attracted to other people and that's perfectly normal but have you ever loved anyone so much you couldn't bare to hurt them? That's why I don't cheat. Each to their own though, if people want to stay singles and pursue everyone they're attracted to, that's cool. Just don't hurt people in the process.

@ukgift2016 Nice. I'm just saying what I see. It's called mumsnet but there are a lot of men on here too. I've been reading for nearly 10 years now and posting on and off. I know men aren't great at a lot of things but let's not hate them all. Infidelity is on the rise in women as much as it is in men.

I think the only way this would work is an agreement for an open marriage but you would have to be totally open and transparent with this if you decided you could handle it

Ime the kind of men who cheat would never ever want an open marriage.

The while point is that the 'extra' is ok for them, but not for their partner. They want a faithful partner, but don't want to be faithful themselves.

It's no coincidence that when many men got into positions of absolute power in history, they kept a harem of women; women whom they made certain had no access to other men.