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Original poster

He's insulted my sexual performance AGAIN

159 replies

Har23 · 18/05/2019 23:49

I posted a thread a few weeks ago about my husband telling me that having sex with me was like having it with a sack of potatoes. I eventually got over it and we had words to which he apologised. However, this eve we were having a chat regarding our daughters first disco a d boys. He played the usual protective daddy. I made a comment about his youth to which he would randomly call upon his neighbour above him for sex, his response blew me off my feet. He said well at least she'd go on top. Honest to God I'm so mad, hurt, insulted. I don't no where to begin the disrepect I just can't comprehend. I just can't believe he thinks our sex is so bad.

OP posts:
gamerchick · 18/05/2019 23:54

Seriously, of a dude insulted my 'performance' in bed it would be the last time he got any from me.

It's up to you though.

JuniperBeer · 18/05/2019 23:54

What did you say to him when he said that? Do you have open conversations about sex?

XXVaginaAndAUterus · 18/05/2019 23:56

Well I wouldn't be having sex with him again from any position to be honest. What a turn off.

Original poster
Har23 · 18/05/2019 23:56

I joked and said he was no Angel and how he call in to her. It was by no means a dig the conversation was light hearted teasing. He will never touch me again

OP posts:
Puffkin · 18/05/2019 23:59

Tell him your 25 year old lover thinks you’re fantastic in the sack and by the way you want a divorce.

AtrociousCircumstance · 19/05/2019 00:02

Yeah that’s complete disrespect and to be honest, I think if you end it you’ll only narrowly beat him to the punch. He no longer really cares if he’s treating you with such a lack of respect and insulting you so easily.

Littleheart5 · 19/05/2019 00:10

God what a dick!!

PeachQueen · 19/05/2019 00:13

What a cunt.

If my DH says stuff like that, joking or not, he roils bet a ban!

PeachQueen · 19/05/2019 00:13

He would...not he rolls

Hobosno · 19/05/2019 00:13

It might be the late hour but the sentence you quote doesn’t sound so bad to me. It sounds more like a) retaliation to whatever you said about what he got up to when younger, and b) a clumsy way of saying that he’d like to try that position.
But I haven’t read your other thread.

Casmama · 19/05/2019 00:18

It sounds to me like he is clumsily saying that you are unenthusiastic about sex and he is looking for a reaction from you. For you to get all offended, demand apologies and vow never to have sex again seems to be wildly missing the point.
Perhaps an honest conversation is required?

UnicornDaisy · 19/05/2019 00:20

Wow! That's a low blow! Don't put up with that x

Ali1262 · 19/05/2019 00:22

If my dp said that to me, I would respond with the quote "a bad workman always blames his tools" which I know we are not tools but it does get the point across that maybe you aren't enthusiastic because he just ain't that good and isn't hitting the spot. And follow up with the comment asking hi that if he is struggling you can provide a detailed map and a torch

Ali1262 · 19/05/2019 00:23

*him not hi

PegLegAntoine · 19/05/2019 00:24

I didn’t see the other thread, but I can’t help wondering what the response would be with sexes reversed. An unsatisfying sex life should be spoken about (in a much kinder way though). If he’s not happy it’s ok to tell you.

Is he good in bed himself though... does he make an effort to please you?

Ilovemypantry · 19/05/2019 00:26

Not sure how you would move on from this tbh

justasking111 · 19/05/2019 00:29

Well it sounds like he is not up to scratch himself if you are an unenthusiastic lover in his opinion. He needs to up his game.

SinisterBumFacedCat · 19/05/2019 00:32

I don’t know why this bag of spuds insult gets pulled out so often by men. I mean, how do they know...? Hmm

It would be a real struggle to conjure up any enthusiasm to shag someone with such an awful attitude. He can go fuck himself.

MashedSpud · 19/05/2019 00:34

He doesn’t care much about hurting your feelings and putting you down.
Is he purposely trying to make you insecure about sex?

Windmillwhirl · 19/05/2019 00:34

So he is saying you are what exactly? Lazy? Unadventurous?

As said, if he is unhappy he should vocalise it, but he appears to do it in a way that puts all blame on you.

He just sounds nasty

MMmomDD · 19/05/2019 00:38

I know you are offended and i haven’t read your previous thread.
However...
What he said wasn’t him criticising your performance.
It was him saying - in an awkward way - that there was a position that he seemed to have enjoyed in the past and possibly wishes to be in again.
Also seems that he said it in response to some sort of a dig from you. What exactly is wrong with him having a sexual no strings relationship with a neighbour?
Given how you sound on here - I am sure that what appeared ‘light hearted’ to you was In fact something that felt like an attack to him.

Point is - it does seem that you have an issue around sex. And total lack of communication and ability to listen. Possibly - both of you.
Your statement that you can’t believe that he thinks it’s bad is quite telling.
You can’t convince him your sex life is good if he doesn’t feel so. And he told you as much.
You can either listen and you together can try to change something.
Or you can chose to ignore and get angry, and eventually separate. As you seem to chose to now.

RantyAnty · 19/05/2019 00:40

Tell him it's difficult to be enthused when he is utter shite in bed.

Weenurse · 19/05/2019 00:46

Is he basing his observations on previous experience or porn?
If experience then have a discussion, if porn explain that this is unreasonable

gonnabreakmyrustycage · 19/05/2019 00:53

I would sit down with him and have a serious conversation during which you’d tell him that you don’t feel attracted to him, he doesn’t satisfy you in bed and therefore sex is more of a chore to you so you understand he feels you’re not very active in bed. Then ask what he suggests he can do to make himself more attractive to you and improve your sex life. See how he likes that

SinglePringle · 19/05/2019 00:57

Gosh.

Didn’t see any other posts / threads so at total face value...

Whilst no one should do what they don’t wanna do, ‘girl on top’ ain’t that unusual. It would be bread and butter to me / us.

Can you discuss with him??