Suspicious texts

[MrsSeanBakedBean]

I have found some suspicious texts on an iPad linked to DH's phone. Just called the number (withholding mine) and it went through to voicemail.

Texts from DH were asking 'when are you working next?'

The reply is addressing DH by a wrong (made up?) name saying 'I'm in flat d'. There are later texts arranging to meet for lunch / coffee.

It sounds like he's been texting a Dec worker. I'm feeling sick & shaky.

What should I do- confront him or wait?

We have been married 13 years and have one DS.

He's now gone to bed (in spare room) Complaining that I have given him a headache!!!

Shortly before that he announced that after all having coffee with another woman who he'd met online wasn't all that bad as it was in a "public place.

I tried to explain that for all i cared they could have been bonking away in a broom cupboard but that it was the principle of how he lied to my face (on our son's life) denying everything until shown the screen shots of the messages which he'd just deleted from the iPad. How I could now never believe anything he ever says again - even if it happened to me the truth, he has totally and utterly destroyed any trust.

I still don't think he gets it. Am avoiding discussions now DS is here.

I think he has had the "oh shit I'm not going to get any money now am I" moment and I must say I'll enjoy watching him squirm.

Of course they’ve been having sex, not just coffee. Get to a solicitor ASAP - do not tell him.

It’s not the truth. And you’re right, you’ll never trust him again. It will drive you mad - you’ll feel completely out of control and that’s so difficult so don’t try and get details: just figure out your next steps. Take the power off him now.

Since when is going to someone’s flat a public place ? Or did he mean Sainsbury’s ?

Jesus he’s so clearly after your money. So sorry OP.

Oh, he claimed the meeting at the flat never happened lefty (yeah right!)

Penguin, it's ok actually. I'm so pleased to have evidence I wasn't going mad or being paranoid!

I'm looking forward to a life without him enjoying my money my way (which won't include buying him flash cars...)

I’m pleased that you have the validation confirming your suspicions, I’ve been cheated on and lied to , the worst part is the lying as you feel like you’re going insane. Finding out is a total relief . You have a dickhead free life awaiting.
To be honest I bet his head is fucking spinning right now 😂 he probably wasn’t lying about the headache ! X

Isn't it amazing how it ALWAYS goes from...

I don't know who that is
I've done nothing wrong to

Quickly to...

Nothing happened it was just coffee

To...

It meant nothing it was just sex

She means nothing, she won't leave me alone. It's attention. I needed the attention as I don't get it from you.

Honestly will these men EVER learn!!

I would now text the OW. Nothing to lose now.

I agree! I would text her. She might not even know you exist. But I'd warm her that you know everything. He's admitted everything.

What would you text to the OW?

He may have deleted his safari history but had he cleared the website data? If his iTunes account is linked to both phone and iPad, it will show both lots of data.
Settings-safari-advanced (right at the bottom)-website data.
This shows all the websites visited and lists the amount of data used which gives an indication of how often they're visited

@MrsSeanBakedBean

I would say something along the lines of...

Hi this xxx wife. I've found out today you've been having an affair with my husband. I found all the texts and he's admitted everything. I would appreciate you leave us both alone during this horrific time

Await her response. The fact he gave her a wrong name indicts to me, she might not know at all about you. And if she doesn't she might share more information. If she does know about you, she will ignore you.

Also any information she shares will help your legal case

Hmm that’s a difficult one as he is in the separate room now , he is probably messaging the OW so they can both get their story straight but if you’re feeling mischievous I would say “my husband has told me that you’re stalking him , please stop with your obsessive behaviour otherwise I will have no option to get in touch with the authorities”
That will probably goad into saying something like this : “he’s a cheeky prick , he was chasing me and we’ve done x y and z together , he told me he was leaving you”

May work and then you have more leverage? x

Agree with @Lefty1 there.

Say something that will make her respond. Say he's begging me forgiveness and that you meant nothing to him. You won't leave him alone.

She was calling him a different name, wasn't she?

She does know about OP - he text her to say that he’s told her nothing’s happened so she might think the text is a bluff.

She may well believe though that he has tried to defend himself by throwing the ow under the bus and making her look like a bunny boiler 🔪 🐰.
It’s a shot in the dark but you may get a result , as a previous poster said, you have nothing to lose now x

@DoxxedFox it doesn't matter what he's text after hes been found out. He's in a state of panic.

When I found out I was the OW which I had no idea about until I had enough of his behaviour and asked his wife outright. I had texts that proved I didn't know either.

He sent me a message on IG the day after it all come out saying "you knew I was happily married" "with your lies, you've ruined my sons life"

Luckily the wife rang me and I had sent the screen shots of me asking him if was def separated from his wife and that they didn't live together and how long etc - to which all of his replies were "I swear on my children's lives we are separated"

So from that, I'm very convinced men will say anything and do anything to get out of a difficult situation.

I'm not saying she def doesn't know. She may, but I think OP deserves to find out fully.

But wasn’t this just before he was definitely found out? He was texting her to say that his wife knows and that he’s said nothing happened and OP could see them on the iPad.

I'm not sure actually so much has been said. I don't even know why the OW doesn't know her husbands real name 🧐

But wasn’t this just before he was definitely found out? He was texting her to say that his wife knows and that he’s said nothing happened and OP could see them on the iPad.

It doesn’t matter really as he could have said the following even after the messages : “I met up with OW and now she won’t leave me alone , she kept threatening to tell you (my wife) so that I would keep on seeing her, she is so in love with me and has threatened suicide if I leave her”

Do you see?

Just read back @DoxxedFox I think the text was done in front of OP reading her post. Before he stormed off to the shop

The other day someone put their SIM card into my phone to check their signal. All their texts messages came up on my messages on my laptop mixed up with my normal messages. Could it just be something like this perhaps?