Dating Thread 158 - Don't wait until the iron is hot to strike

[Greenland55]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

wading why did he call you 3x in a row?! I wouldn’t answer. This is far too intense for someone you haven’t even met. If you still want to meet I’d be very clear with him that this is too much for you and he needs to reign it in.

Hi wading, if you really can't meet him soon then i reckon the messaging and calls will only get worse. Best thing to do would be book a babysitter for an hour and give him a forty minute coffee/drink meet up. Then you can weigh him up.
Some guys on old really do get carried away but his behaviour isn't good

Last night MrSAS asked if I’d be up for going away with him on a city break sometime 😁
I said yes! I realise things may not work out but it’s nice that he sees some kind of future in me/us.

Thank you so much. Maybe I should consider babysitter then. It's a minefield out here!!!

Ooh sunshine a city break. I’m well jel. Sounds lovely 👍

@shitwith Just an idea at the moment but we came up with a few suggestions as to where we’d like to go.

@Wadingthroughshit personally I would tell him to calm down. If he doesn't get the message then I would run for the hills.

Wadingthroughshit yes it is a minefield! As the others say, he has no right to tell you what to do. I'm afraid if it were me, I wouldn't want to go any further. I think I've set my boundaries so tight that most behaviours don't get past me. But then I haven't had a date for four months! It would be the excessive phone calls that would finish me off. Dates have always been polite asking by text when it's OK to phone, never randomly phoning.

And Sunshine, a city break! That's all I want to do. My ex never had any money and we never went anywhere. Apart from my 50th, which I paid for, and he ruined by sulking...

@Wadingthroughshit in all honesty I'd tell him you're perfectly entitled to talk to who you want and it would be silly to only exclusively talk to one person before meeting and getting to know someone properly. If he doesn't like that I'd swiftly move on. Everything you've said about him says he's needy and controlling and would have me running for the hills

wading I'd be very wary of this behaviour personally.
jesuis so glad you had a good meet with Mr Plumber - sounds like you were able to draw a line under it.
sunshine how lovely for you!!!

Me: I've seen something on Love Honey I'd like to try out...

MrCornish: £35 for that?? It's just nylon cord and some shackles! I'll see what I've got in the barn.

20 minutes later... I've got 50m of rope in the dairy - will that do?

I think Christian Grey is safe.

😂😂

50 METRES?!! 😶

@JeSuisPrest typical farmer!! Surprised he didn't suggest bailing twine 😂😂

wading he sounds way too needy and he shouldn't be telling you what to do. If you meet and click with someone it is fine to have the 'exclusive chat' but personally I would not be prepared to just chat to one person before I had even met them.

sunshine yeah, a weekend break! Sounds like it is going well!

I am meeting Mr Foodie this afternoon which is exciting. We had originally arranged to meet on Thursday lunchtime as he will be visiting the area where I work, but last night he suggested meeting today as we are both free. We have been getting on very well by text and had a good chat on the phone, so I hope there is some chemistry between us. We will both be driving so won't be able to have a glass of wine of two, but maybe that is just as well. I am still limping from my catastrophic fall after my first date with Mr Outdoors, which was nearly 5 weeks ago.

@JeSuisPrest I laughed out loud at that!😂

Those of you over 50, which sites/apps have been better? Or hasn't that made a difference? I'm definitely invisible at the moment as deleted Bumble to start again. 😭

JeSuis those practical types eh

Excellent, JeSuis

I could still smell Mr Ns aftershave on me this morning. I miss small things like that.

I'm not quite 50 yet nest but I'm about to go back on the apps and will try bumble and tinder. I found them the most successful last time.

Wading. I've only had one relationship that started that intense and it crashed and burned. I wouldn't do it again nor would I go along with someone who was that intense.

WarIsPeace I can't complain - he's installing my new dashcam for me this week after he's cooked me dinner. I could do it myself but it would involve much wailing and gnashing of teeth and he offered so 🤷🏻‍♀️

Mel6l72 Hmmm, I love that. And stealing a t shirt to wear in bed - and sending them a cheeky snap asking if they're missing something?😂

LilyRose88 Good luck for your date. Quickly arranged impromptu ones are the way to go ime - strike whilst the iron is hot (and I hope he is hot...🔥)

sunshine How lovely for you. "Mini break" always reminds me of Bridget Jones losing her headscarf in Daniel Cleaver's open top car.😂

Wading Proceed with extreme caution... do you have any other irons? This is one instance where I wouldn't feel guilty about sending a "sorry, this isn't working for me message", then block.

JeSuis oh I love that idea. Will remember that.

@NestOfSwipers as someone your age range I find some women over 50 incredibly attractive, it really all depends on whether they have looked after yourself. Age doesn't worry me (some women 60+ are desirable) its attitude I look for. Do you believe that live begins at 50 for example. Or do you show any bitterness towards what has happened to you in the past, so many tell me what they don't want.

The age of the 10 last women I sent messages to 53, 46, 51, 50, 50, 53, 49, 50, 47, 49 with one that lead to a conversation and aborted date. All of these women were attractive to me. And I am damn sure that if they had met me at least one of them would have liked me. Sometimes people make (wrong) judgements about you which can be very frustrating, and that will happen regardless of the platform you are using.