Dating Thread 158 - Don't wait until the iron is hot to strike

[Greenland55]

1. The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

@shitwith don't worry, he's history. .

I took the 'married' thing off fb a few months before we split and have left it blank since. Stbxh isn't on fb anyway.

Not planning to change it to 'in a relationship ' in the future as have lots of inlaws on my fb

Just had to check my Facebook status as I had no idea what it said. It says single, which is okay. I don't think people can see anything about me anyway as I have got it locked down quite tightly.

MrSAS lives a 35 min drive away and it works fine as I don’t mind driving, neither does he and I get to go to a different place every couple of weeks where no one knows me if I am out with a guy!
I am on his sofa right now with him and his cat asleep on me 😊

Cat acceptance must be as high on the ladder as being given a shelf. Sounds perfect, Sunshine

Just come back from 24 hours with Mr Biker (from Fab). All was going so well until he revealed his racist views. Didn't tell him that he's hosted a Jewish woman. Just want to scrub myself now......I'm mortified.

So I seem to have fallen into a FWB situation unwittingly. I was doing my usual stressing over drama with my exes life each weekend, looking forward to my one date next week whose messages are a tad sparse then spent the day with my mad ADHD friend and we seem to have naturally got into the physical thing. Tbh i probably wouldn't have been attracted at all, he certainly has his weird issues but he makes such a huge refreshing change to feeling permanently scared of my ex, plus I think I relax him. It definitely seems to suit us both at present but I'm finding myself a lot less bothered about future dates with more suitable people. Not sure that's a good thing but definitely having a great time!

putastrawunder oh my goodness! At least you found out before he became an official FWB.

putastrawunderbaby I bet you do, how awful.

@putastrawunderbaby oh no, you actually liked him a lot til then too! I'm always shocked when I meet people with extreme views.... you weren't to know.

Thanks @Peanuthedz lily likeriding and shitwith. Yes, I did really like him. It was like a punch in the stomach.

@putastrawunderbaby Thats awful, I hope you’re okay.

Mine has been texting a bit today, he asked if he could call later and I said yes as long as it’s before 9 as i’ll be having a nap to get up for thrones 😂 at least he now knows that I am an ultimate loser.

He ended up facetiming when I was cooking dinner, I was in my pants and I haven’t brushed my hair today. He hasn’t watched any GoT so I suitably berated him. He laughed at me when I asked him to essentially ignore me at our conference this week, but understands why. His flat is closer to the conference than mine, but his flatmate will be in, so I have asked my cleaner if she can either change her day or cancel this week (I’ll still pay of course), we get an hour and a half lunch break each day, that can’t be wasted!

I met Mr Plumber for a coffee this afternoon. Not a date, we really are just friends. I was apprehensive about how I would feel about seeing him again - last time was about 2 weeks ago when we'd spent the night together for the last time, a couple of days later I sent him the "This isn't working for me as a FWB arrangement because you're going to break my heart" message and I'd met Mr Cornish and it was all becoming too complicated. I knew I had to choose between them - FWB with MrPlumber who I was getting the feels for and completely rocked my world in all senses or MrCornish who was a bit of an unknown quantity but looking for a LTR. MrPlumber is still lovely and we laughed and chatted away and he's a perfect gent and he's handsome and we still have an amazing connection and we left each other with a hug and a peck on the cheek and and and...and I'm still glad I chose MrCornish whatever happens between us.

@JeSuisPrest that sounds a really nice meet with Mr Plumber and closure in a good way

Well I may be taking a pew on the kitten bench shortly-I'm absolutely fine but just sick of everyone I meet having fundamental flaws - I know my standards and boundaries so I'm not going to f* about and settle for less.It's easier just being single I think!

I may need a new rightfornow bench. Mittens? I've no idea. Only first meet with Mr Natural. As a FWB he could be great for scratching an itch. Hopefully I'll see him again on Saturday night. If I don't hear from you him again, hey ho. No harm, no foul.

Really good first date with mr races it didn’t actually feel like first date and we had quite a few drinks and felt like proper night out. Despite someone throwing themselves on trainline so he had to uber to me. 6 hours doesn’t really seem the norm and even then we only really left as I have footy early today. Really bizarre. We kissed a few times. I didn’t feel the Fanny gallops but it felt good. Questioning myself as always if I should have felt more on edge, more gallops.
Put a strawberry- his loss lucky escape.
Simon- good planning 😉
Mel- good plan. I’m going to have to hide Pof as messages too intense.
Jesus- fab closure
Coco - what’s happened?
Eesha - that’s good if you happy with it. Mittens bench?

lilyrose glad you got rid. Cancelling twice is not on.

putastraw OMG. A racist. How scary. Glad you found out early doors.

Glad seeing Mr P cemented that Mr X was the right choice *

mel and ccgirr dates sound promising. 🤞

Hey everyone. Just wanted a little perspective. I am OLD, well sort of, I haven't met anyone yet and I am certainly In no rush. I've given one guy my number, we've spoken on the phone a few times and find it very easy to talk to him for relatively long periods of time. We were planning on meeting within the next few weeks. But, he said to me "as we're talking and planning to meet I think it'd be disrespectful to speak to anyone else, disrespectful to the person you're planning to meet" and he's been messaging quite a lot. If I open it and don't reply, he'll send another. He said his brother and father died a few years ago months apart and it's changed his perspective. I don't know???

@Wadingthroughshit he sounds a bit full on. You haven't met yet just chatting. Why do you have to wait to meet? I'd meet sooner and see how it goes. If you want to chat to others tell him you are doing nothing wrong. As for the messages when you don't reply he needs to relax.

@Wadingthroughshit he sounds very needy to me, and controlling when he doesn't know you. What will be be like if you do actually become his girlfriend?

@Wadingthroughshit personally I think even if he feels that way, it's not his place to tell you what to do. He sounds insecure which would be a red flag for me. It would feel like an early sign of controlling or overly intense behaviour. Especially saying the word 'disrespectful'. No one likes knowing people talk to others but he doesn't know you enough to say you shouldn't do it.

Thanks guys. We're waiting to meet because of his work and he is going on a stag in London. He's asked to see me during the week but I said I won't be doing that because I have children and I don't want to pay for a babysitter as I can wait. I don't mean that in any bad attitude way! I do understand him not wanting me to talk to anyone else, as I assume that's what he really meant by that comment, as he's kid of taken me aside by giving me his number, but yes, a bit controlling maybe, I wouldn't say that to him/anyone. It's more the texting and phonecalls, he phoned three times in a row yesterday 🙈

Wading - personally my ex was is intense on messages and calls. I thought was norm I’m only discovering it isn’t now. If he rings that much now what will he be like. Vw is right. I’d be careful as mine is still intense like messaged me on date last night to check I was ok. I’d be tempted to run lol