DD planning children in her late 30s.

[FreshandCrisp]

Hi there. My daughter is 25 and has a boyfriend she has been with for 5 years. They moved in with each other last year and have been enjoying each other. She had a conversation with me about children, saying she wants to get her irregular periods checked out as she is worried it will affect fertility. I assumed this meant in the near future she was actually planning on TTC. I asked her and she was like oh no, I definitely want children, but I think late 30s. Obviously it's up to her and I know many people who haven't found someone or for any other reason, may obviously have a baby in their late 30s, but it seems unusual in her situation to 'plan' that. Isn't this slightly strange? I won't deny I'm a bit upset, I'm not getting any younger and I'd hate to be really old and not be able to be an active part in my grandchild's life. This isn't about me pushing for a grandchild, my DIL is pregnant. However, my son met her at 22, married her at 23 and then TTC at 23. Which seemed a bit more like what I did. Again, I know we are all different, I'm not trying to influence her. I just think activity planning for a baby in your late 30s isn't the wisest of things?

Pbobs while it's great your experience of older motherhood/parenthood has been so positive that's not always the case.

And your experience doesn't negate the biological facts about declining fertility, increased risk of mc etc for older mothers.

Nor does lt negate the negative experiences of others, their feelings and experiences are just as valid.

I was also clear that I understand there's cons to younger motherhood too (as the mother of an 18 yr old dd I feel hyper aware of this at the moment! 😂)

@Graphista I never said it did. If you read right to the end of my post you'll see I say women should be allowed choices without judgement from other women - which strongly implies (I think) that there is no single right answer. Also you presume an arrogance in my response that I do not see - saying my experience does not negate others. Again, nowhere do I say that. I was merely addressing your comment that people haven't talked about being the child of an older parent. I thought I'd address your point. Seems fair - not sure why you get to present the negative but the positive is met with a reaction from you. Surely we need to be able to provide balanced views if we're helping people to make decisions that are right for them?

Although these are all moot points in the case of the OP because frankly this has nothing to do with her. Her DD's family planning is her business and hers alone.

@ImNotNigel thanks. She can still be a bit of a pain but she takes it well when you let her know.

@Tightarseparent1

Nhs website;

More than 80% of couples where the woman is under 40 will conceive naturally within a year of having regular unprotected sex.

But I am "talking shite", "embarrassing myself" etc. etc.