Dating Thread 157 - Kitten or Smitten: Which bench are *you* on?

[MrDrummer]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Link to previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3566658-Dating-Thread-156-It-is-hot-hot-hot

I actually rated it very highly @lifegoes - lots of very intelligent funny warm confident women on there. If you live somewhere like London, Manchester or Bristol I hear there's likewise a decent selection of quality men (present company excepted, obvs!) - much less so elsewhere.

For me POF is a total waste of money subscribing, but on GSM you get what you pay for!

But I met my current squeeze on GSM so am totally biased!

Oh found the thread... good if slightly outing mentioning there @MrDrummer

@MarcMyWords I just want to defend @MrDrummer on the rule 10 breaking as it's totally platonic between us

I note that a few have mentioned profile reviews. Given the experience of @MidCenturyLegs it may be worth getting her opinions on this process via PM or reading back a couple of threads (I think).

Interesting @MarcMyWords I may give it a look in a few weeks. Not a fan of POF anyway and I don't pay for any other of the OLD premium option.

I am a member of a running club too but it’s all female! I am on Strava and most of the people I follow are men who are all way faster than me! I should clarify, all men I know, who are mostly married...

I also tried GSM briefly but there was just no-one close to me, unless I was willing to ‘adjust’ my standards significantly.

I’m hoping things work out with MrSAS so that I do t have to go back to OLD of any kind as I frigging hate it!

Not many people on GSM down 'ere (not many people down here full stop!), as I keep telling my older artist friend who's looking for an older artist man. She's been looking for ages, but then she IS just on GSM. I'll convert her to Bumble yet.....

Twatbucket of an ex has just moved his days for the kids around, which has led to me scrambling like mad to get a babysitter for Thursday night's date with Mr Pharmacist.

But it has given me a tiny window to meet up with Mr Greek tomorrow, although we nearly blew it earlier by straying into a controversial conversational topic and disagreeing (No, not Brexit, 5G. Sitting on my hands to avoid hitting him with All the Science.) So, we're having a quick coffee. Since we'll have come straight from work, he says he'll be smelling of onions - and I'll be smelling of white spirit .

Also got a reply to the breezy, conversational question I asked Dr Headfuck. After......ten days .

Ubfuckingbelievable. The boilers died. There go my baths for the time being. Shakes fist at the sky

@HairyArsedMan

I just want to defend MrDrummer on the rule 10 breaking as it's totally platonic between us

Heartbroken 💔

Guardian Soulmates sounds like it would be up my street, except I wouldn't want to give anybody the impression that I read The Guardian.

Must be something in the air today - had 2 old irons randomly send me messages today. They are pre MrPlumber and MrCornish so about 5/6 weeks old. I expect they've gone through a cycle of having a few irons, which have now dwindled and rather than make the effort with anyone new they thought they'd test the waters with me again. One cancelled a first date with me, we chatted for a few more days and then decided we weren't going to meet - it was all quite polite (he messaged me about Line of Duty today...) the other I can barely remember what we talked about, but I'm not opening POF to view his message because I do recall that he's a premium member and will know I've read it and I have no intention of replying to whatever he's said. 😳

MrPlumber called tonight out of the blue for a catch up. All very above board and "we're just friends". Told him about STBXH fuckwittery and he's given me some really good advice and helped with plan of action. I told him about MrCornish. He says he's pleased for me. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Well, I was happy on the smitten bench, until I caught up with the thread, now I'm disappointed I don't have a drawer. Mr Metal has said he's going to get some sweetener in for my tea when he goes shopping, it's not quite a drawer but .....

Same goes likeridingabike. Mr S has bought the teabags I like. But no drawer! 😂

@JeSuisPrest ha this happened to me I found it all rather bizarre I got a text which was rather lengthy about a work thing.

Then I realised they had the wrong person so text back advising. They continued to text for a bit then I stopped.

I think I missed the deal on Mr Plumber what happened? but I dislike the he's "pleased for you" comment

Oh c'mon @Notcoolmum and @likeridingabike be thankful you have the smitten bench. Some of us are still using vibrators and sat on a rubber bench 😂😂😂

I have just snorted with laughter lifegoes 😂🤣
Mr S was a star today. He spent all day doing odd jobs for me. And is going to come back later in the week to help with the garden. I’m still a bit guarded after my wobble of last week but I struggle to see he’d give up his time to help me if he didn’t really like me...

@Notcoolmum I think he sounds really lovely and likes you. I know it's hard for you and naturally you will be keeping that guard half up. Sometimes we are just waiting for things to go wrong and by doing that, we somehow make them go wrong.

Enjoy it, you deserve it and he's 100% trying with you, as best as he knows how right now xx

@JeSuisPrest I did not realise Mr Plumber didn't know about Mr Cornish. Will be very interesting to see if he is willing to maintain the friendship now he knows about Mr C. But I am with @lifegoes on this... given my impression of him, I have a feeling he is anything but "pleased".

shitwith really pleased for you, it just shows that you're appreciative that he listens and pays attention.

@shitwithsugaron Good to hear you are another decaffien. We are a rare breed and we need to stick together :)

Haven't caught up on the thread for a while - so sorry for not helping / supporting those who have needed a helping hand.
Trying to find a new job so concentrating on that but just noticed in my email inbox a mention from this thread of my name..
Profile reviews from men on here are fine and absolutely everyone's choice to make!
I just know I would be wary now of chatting too much outside of the safe realms of this thread.
What might seem lovely advice from someone posting on here may come from someone slightly unhinged and pretending to be someone they are not in real life. As I've said before, ironically the only ever man I've had to block from my OLD dating world is someone from this thread. It was nothing sinister, just really uncomfortable.

@MrDrummer. He's known about MrCornish for a couple of weeks now, but it was only last night that I told him I thought there might be any relationship potential. I think the friendship will last, but I can see now how much better for me MrCornish is as a partner (if it gets that far). They are both wonderful guys but couldn't be more opposite personality wise. Watch this space as they say...

I did join GSM briefly at the start of my OLD career but cancelled after about a week as wasn’t ready to date at that point.
Seemed like nice people on there, but also had a few not reply to brief, friendly messages when they’d liked my profile. Which seemed strange as no swiping, so you can take your time whether to decide to like a profile.

My reasons for liking Bumble so far... free, takes about five mins to set up account and start swiping, more men in my 3 mile dating radius than GSM. As lots don’t reply to initial messages, it’s a numbers game so the volume helps. I found the swiping a bit judgey at first but it’s much easier now.

crack your friend could try Bumble or one of the other sites alongside GSM and see what she prefers as not a great investment in terms of time/money and can be deleted if she doesn’t like it.

After advice on here re Mr (unfortunately not Gregory) Peck, I swiped again last night and have a potential new iron. He seems nice and there was an appropriate level of gently, slightly flirty chat. I’ll call him Mr Maths.

So 5 in the morning is the time for online dating. Sat at the computer doing admin, occasionally going onto Match. 30 guys viewed me. 2 messages. 1 is good looking 6 ft 4, stubbly farmer probably 5 miles away. Seems nice but 25! Wonder if I should take a risk and invite him out as I have nothing else on. Could take him for a Mcdonalds happy meal.

@StealthNinjaMum I can highly recommend 6ft 4 stubbly farmer types. The age thing - who knows, what have you got to lose going on one date?