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Original poster

Dating Thread 157 - Kitten or Smitten: Which bench are *you* on?

999 replies

MrDrummer · 28/04/2019 20:23

Dating thread rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Link to previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3566658-Dating-Thread-156-It-is-hot-hot-hot

OP posts:
Original poster
MrDrummer · 02/05/2019 18:25

@StealthNinjaMum

and if challenged by women would probably say

Why does it need challenging? There is tons of female "banter/locker room type stuff" that raises my eye-brows. JeSuis' comment about "challenge accepted" regarding a bloke that had "won't put out on the first date". Do you think a bloke would get away with that comment on here?

OP posts:
lifegoes · 02/05/2019 18:33

Can we all just draw a line under it all please.

This thread is for advice on dating and supporting each other.

Some were offended by the comments, some weren't. But let's not drag it on.

Ant330 · 02/05/2019 18:33

notcoolmum MissOz definitely doesn't feel like a rebound, I was over my wife before we seperated so it's not that.
I'm a virgo and apparently we have a tendency to overanalyse everything which is what I know I'm doing.
Don't know why I can't just happily accept that things are going well Hmm but they are.
Biggest worry is not about me but her. I like her and I don't want to upset her as she's had enough crappy men in her life. I sometimes think I should just end it so that never happens but that's proper self sabotaging isn't it? And if I care about her feelings enough to think that then maybe I'm worrying about nothing!
Drummer sorry to bring up the egg thing again, it was just a shit joke, apologies ;)

StealthNinjaMum · 02/05/2019 18:34

I'm telling you that the subject of 'vampire wings' makes me feel like a thing guys would brag about while women feel uncomfortable. It would make me feel uncomfortable. And I would tell a bloke in real life that I found it icky. Do you not think 'vampire wings' sounds like a braggy term used by drunk lads in the pub?

Did you feel uncomfortable by JeSuis' comment?

StealthNinjaMum · 02/05/2019 18:35

Sorry lifegoes crossposted. I didn't see your comment before I posted. I can't carry it on now as I'm going out for a few hours.

JeSuisPrest · 02/05/2019 19:03

I'll issue an open apology now to the blokes that I've had sex with on a first date that didn't want to do it.

TooOldForThis67 · 02/05/2019 19:04

JeSuis - Lol!

Notcoolmum · 02/05/2019 19:22

Yes ant that would be self sabotage indeed!! As long as your intentions are honourable and you treat her kindly I think you are ok. Mr S has said we have the potential to hurt each other and we both agreed it would be better if the person hurt was him 😂

lifegoes · 02/05/2019 19:29

Hahahahaha @JeSuisPrest

So quick update on Mr Filth just got off the phone to him. I do get his point, he's spent so much time on OLD that he doesn't like to just keep texting. Prefers to call, meet up and text. To see if there is a connection. So I'm meeting him next week 👀

Original poster
MrDrummer · 02/05/2019 19:38

@JeSuisPrest I would never sleep with you on the first date.

Bracing myself for a really harsh putdown!!

OP posts:
JeSuisPrest · 02/05/2019 19:39

@MrDrummer 😘

Notcoolmum · 02/05/2019 19:39

Ooh lifegoes this one sounds A LOT more promising 🤞

lifegoes · 02/05/2019 19:42

Early days @Notcoolmum so I'm still swiping and trying to chat to others.

JeSuisPrest · 02/05/2019 19:47

@lifegoes meeting up quickly is the way to go, for me at least and I also like to message up to the date as well otherwise I start to feel a bit of a disconnect. Different strokes for different folks. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Sidge · 02/05/2019 19:51

Can I ask any fellow cougars if they feel a bit insecure occasionally? Mr Italian is just lovely, had our second date last night, have planned to spend next weekend together and he messages regularly and has left me a lovely voice message just now on his way home from work.

But all I can think is he’s young, he’s gorgeous, he could have the pick of any woman I expect yet he’s dating me?! His profile has disappeared and when I jokingly asked if he’d unmatched me he said he’d deleted Bumble as he doesn’t need it any more does he? I’m worried it’s all too good to be true!

My friend (also dating) says it’s because I’m a babe 🤣🤣 but I really don’t want to mess it up by displaying insecurities.

Ant330 · 02/05/2019 19:51

jesuis 😂😂

notcool that sounds like a good plan (for you) 😂

I just need to keep reminding myself to relax and enjoy it. We've got a nice Sunday-Monday planned so it's all good ;)

lifegoes · 02/05/2019 19:54

@JeSuisPrest absolutely agree with that. If I'm honest that was the issue with the last. It went on for 6 weeks of texting. Arranged a date and then he started to drop off. So the signs were there really.

He wants to meet up ASAP and when he explained it reminded of what a lot of you have said on here

AtSea1979 · 02/05/2019 19:57

TooOld it’s not that I don’t feel ready as such, just been a long time and scared! We haven’t even kissed properly yet but he went in for one, it was just a bit awkward in the car park. I guess I should feel more excited and spontaneous but I don’t. Hopefully it just means it’s going to be something slow burning and long lasting

lifegoes · 02/05/2019 20:00

@Sidge YOU ARE THE PRIZE.

It's so easy to not see ourselves for who we are. We see the same face every day all our lives. We also don't get what amazing people we are.

But sometimes someone comes along and reminds us that we are. THIS IS IT.

So enjoy it!!!

StarryUnicorn · 02/05/2019 20:03

Sidge that some men find an older woman attractive is not an uncommon or even a modern idea. Rule 7.

Mel6l72 · 02/05/2019 20:24

I'd sort of be wary about someone saying they'd delete an app so soon but equally I'm so keen to leave fab, if my new iron Mr Natural (not like that - he's just very easy to text) and I get along I would not be spending time on fab

Mel6l72 · 02/05/2019 20:27

Oh I forgot I am meeting him on Sunday night

30somethingandsingle · 02/05/2019 20:39

MrFox has been deathly quiet again, I've even found myself having a nosey on fab again... argh, he is so bloody confusing.

Ant330 · 02/05/2019 20:45

30 have you said anything to him? You've mentioned this a few times and you've been seeing him long enough now to be able to ask him haven't you?

Sidge · 02/05/2019 21:08

@lifegoes @starryunicorn thank you, I’m not madly keen on the prize analogy if I’m honest but I do like the concept that we are all worthy!

I guess I just need to believe it until I discover otherwise. Better relax and enjoy the ride. 😁