Dating Thread 157 - Kitten or Smitten: Which bench are *you* on?

[MrDrummer]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Link to previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3566658-Dating-Thread-156-It-is-hot-hot-hot

@Sunshineandflipflops Ha,ha, she didn't and I definitely didn't try it on. Didn't even get a snog until 4th date.

@emski1972 Because ghosting is easier and takes less guts, sadly.

I would always want to keep some contact going between dates for this reason (planning childcare, etc).

@emski1972 If you have childcare sorted though I would make the most of it and go out anyway - with a friend or on your own (cinema?)

emski1972 he was really mean to do that - what a coward. Do you have any other chats going on? It's not too late to arrange a date for Friday.

@MrDrummer 4th date until a snog?! You exercised extreme patience there!

@emski1972 this really annoys me. It takes a few mins to just type a reply saying they couldn't meet. For whatever reason!!

I would go out, do something for you. Block his number and let him learn from his mistake the hard way.

@emski1972 don't come to conclusions yet there could be a variety of reasons why he has not replied yet especially if he is at work

I'm going for a drink with the girls after work...what a motherf*&%er eh?
lesson learned my friends lesson learned! I have a book arriving today The art of not giving a f&*k...
Sadly no other chats I was giving OLD a miss but might have to get back out there...2 seconds it takes to say I don't want to see you EVER AGAIN...Jesus..this will be why he's on divorce number 2..

@emski1972 Ugh. hate that. it's the worst.

I unfortunately got accidentally drunk last night with some pals and ended up in a karaoke bar drinking rum. On a wednesday night. Slowly dying at my desk

"I don't put-out on the first date"

I had a fella with that on his profile - challenge accepted.

@JeSuisPrest hahaha!

@Sunshineandflipflops I did kind say that, "we really to progress..." so she agreed to come round. Would have dtd but for the painter's being round. So that happened date 5. I think a very coy lady.

@emski1972 I am with vwman (for once! )on this. Guy might be driving a long distance or something. Would be very glad of a no-reply in this case. As previously stated, some people just don't have access to their phones during the day. Although, again leaving it to the day to organise hard details is proving frustrating.

So the whole DTD 'when the painter's are round' thing...

I have never done this. Never even really considered it, until MrSAS said he enjoys it and actually asked if I would like to. I said I think i'd feel a bit uncomfortable/embarrassed at the mess but then it kind of happened anyway by accident and he was really lovely about it, which made me feel less anti the whole thing.

Are men generally less grossed out by this than women?

@Sunshineandflipflops I have done this once with my ex. I was always no no no as like you the mess etc.

But he was amazing (prob the only time he was) and was all don't worry it doesn't bother me at all. And it wasn't messy as I thought

Most men I've been with haven't been bothered by it. But I always have

@Sunshineandflipflops not an issue for me

Oh sorry @emski1972 I read that as you hadn't heard from him since Monday 🤦🏻‍♀️.

If it's only this AM then I would def wait

In fact the woman in question did do it with the painters in subsequently, but I can fully understand not wanting to do it first time around.

Ok vman and MrDrummer lets go for benefit of the doubt for the time being... We normally go out around 8pm..so whats the cut off time do you reckon?

MrDrummer - Yes, I can totally get that about it being the first time!

Cut off for me would be 2/3pm
You just have a gut feeling by then.

I've had we still on for today at midday then actually can we cancel at 3pm many a time..

Sex whilst it’s that time of the month is actually really good I find, but I would only do it with someone I had been with for a while and not on one of my heavy days.

@Lovemusic33

and not on one of my heavy days.

I presumably I have only caught it during the tail end, so to speak. I don't know if I am making this up but I seem to remember that dtd can help with the cramps!

Ash happy to look at your profile, although as I'm on the smitten bench all my OLD profiles are hidden, so not sure if I can still see it ...

I would prefer the first time DTD with someone not to be when the painters are in (such a twee expression lol) but it doesn't bother me, and I've only met one man who didn't want to.

Despite Mr BC being younger, I am wearing him out - another reason I never dated put-of-shape men 😂

MrDrummer it's the orgasm that helps with the cramps ...