Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Dating Thread 157 - Kitten or Smitten: Which bench are *you* on?

999 replies

MrDrummer · 28/04/2019 20:23

Dating thread rules:

  1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
  2. Develop a thick skin.
  3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
  4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
  5. Trust your gut instinct.
  6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
  7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
  8. If it's not fun, stop.
  9. Loo update is mandatory.
10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Link to previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3566658-Dating-Thread-156-It-is-hot-hot-hot

OP posts:
MrDrummer · 30/04/2019 22:43

@lifegoes Ouch!

OP posts:
BearWoman · 30/04/2019 22:53

MrDrummer keep on ..keeping on...🤣 or something.. hell it sounds ridiculous but you all give me hope and I’m continents away so 🖐 and l love this space.

lifegoes · 30/04/2019 22:53

😘 @MrDrummer

@vwman That's what I do on bumble.

Tonight I have taken the lead on everything 🙈. I never ever message first on tinder and tonight everyone I've matched I've sent a message. I'm now so confused who said what that I've had to come off the app for the night

MrDrummer · 30/04/2019 22:55

@lifegoes Let's call it evens with the "most women" joke? ;)

OP posts:
lifegoes · 30/04/2019 23:01

@MrDrummer deal 🤝

vwman · 30/04/2019 23:01

I am thinking

Its the bank holiday weekend, you have a choice, head to the beach, stay at home watching a box set or make your way to the city. Which do you choose? Right answer gets the prize

Bluezoo123 · 30/04/2019 23:03

Haven't got to end of thread but will try and post response to others when get a chance.
Just wanted to share with the thread isn't it funny how old irons pop up at random times?!
I am very happy with my bf and have everything crossed that this is 'the one' for me.
For anyone that remembers I had a thing with someone at the end of last year who after dtd a handful of times then abstained for 6 weeks with various excuses so I then called time on it. He messaged a couple of weeks ago wanting a shoulder to cry on and I had to say sorry but I had moved on and couldn't get involved in helping him but hoped he was ok (more to story but too much to type lol).
Have just now received a message from the first iron first person I dtd with I had after marriage ended a few years ago who ghosted me. Rematched on tinder in jan this year and had a videocall where I called him out on it and he apologised. He then decided to give his ex gf another chance guessing that didn't work out for him random!

lifegoes · 30/04/2019 23:05

@vwman head to the beach. It'll be packed if the weather is nice

@CocoKoko123 I really knew what it was that made ex BF's or Ex irons come back. But it always feels like it's just as you move on they have a radar. Oh I know who I'll message. 🖕🏼

MrDrummer · 30/04/2019 23:08

@vwman

Why choose? Go to Brighton (is a city and has a beach) and watch a box-set on your phone/tablet whilst on the beach.

OP posts:
vwman · 30/04/2019 23:09

@lifegoes you win the prize and its me, when would you like to pick it up?

WarIsPeace · 30/04/2019 23:10

Funny when they are recurring isn't it. My first iron Mr Sales messaged last week. He was obviously at a loose end... But no doubt still flaky. We exchanged a few friendly messages and I said I was seeing someone.

lifegoes · 30/04/2019 23:12

@vwman ha I'll be there on Friday

@WarIsPeace just makes no sense to me. They didn't want it enough at the time but suddenly they do now

vwman · 30/04/2019 23:15

@lifegoes so I am your man Friday now eh?

Yes I think I will give it a go

MrDrummer · 30/04/2019 23:21

Let us know how it goes @vwman. Always interested in different approaches. Had contemplated writing a script to do it on PoF but quickly lost interest and decided to sit and talk shit on here find something more interesting to do.

OP posts:
vwman · 30/04/2019 23:25

@mrdrummer I think it has to be something simple, a quick quiz works I think to get the conversation going. There is no wrong answer if I like them

MrDrummer · 30/04/2019 23:37

@vwman I usually make an effort around the opening salvo but it's pretty clear from here that it doesn't make a difference compared to whether they fancy you in your pic or not.

Anyway, you are sorted for Friday, if nothing else.

OP posts:
Mel6l72 · 30/04/2019 23:49

Had a message from a guy with a spider and web tattoo on his cock.

Dear god.

Not going to ask if the web or spider expand

lifegoes · 01/05/2019 00:03

Or how he shoots the web out @Mel6l72

DaffoDeffo · 01/05/2019 05:29

I still get messages from a few irons from a year ago. You have to be firm with your boundaries as like you, I think well you didn't want it then or I didn't want it then so why now. But in a way it's quite nice to chat to other people dating and see how they are doing. I never let it be anything more than just chit chat!

Reason I asked about the relationship is that I feel there is something missing with MrF. I think it's that feeling of us that shit describes - we are definitely not at that stage yet. It's like it is going in incredible slow motion which I don't mind if it's actually going to get to that stage. If it's never going to get there, I would rather cut my losses now if that makes sense!

Notcoolmum · 01/05/2019 06:40

@vwman. I hate messages like that. Clearly generic and being sent to everyone. And If you replied with the prize response I’d Unmatch.

vwman · 01/05/2019 06:44

@lifegoes I will call you Miss Friday, now that we are an item I will expect you to agree to exclusivity before we meet, and I will book the appointment with the jeweller for your fitting on Friday, hope that is ok - lol

ponyprincess · 01/05/2019 06:50

Can't believe how fast the thread moves. I might have to stop dating to keep up 🤣

shitwithsugaron · 01/05/2019 07:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ponyprincess · 01/05/2019 07:53

vwman i agree with notcoolmum

HairyArsedMan · 01/05/2019 07:54

Apologies for putting the cat amongst the pigeons on profile reviewing. There has been really useful feedback on mine and I hope my comments have helped others. I didn't want anyone to feel that they were automatically distrusted, more just for folks to be cautious and read back a bit to get a feel for the personalities of the potential reviewers. Anyway enough said.

On messaging, I think it's very unfair to expect them to flow at the rate you desire, and to expect someone to apologise for every break. In an average day with DS I have maybe two one hour windows in the morning and the evening and try to message when I can in between but would only be contributing noise if I pointed out every bit of unavailability. I'll probably cover messages with friends and groups in those longer periods too. Not to mention posting here and elsewhere. I wouldn't get antsy about someone else's frequency either - I prefer quality not quantity! (Yes, still talking messaging)

@MrDrummer @vwman There was a blog post I encountered in which some guy tried the same (very forward) lines out on Tinder, while varying his profile pics from his natural self to a guy with model looks and great body. I think it's true to say you can get away with a lot if you're fit. But if not, then generic messages won't help.

Currently talking to Ms Goldfish and Ms Flabbergast. The former is totally sound, straightforward and I like her a lot. The latter is, erm, flabbergasting, but I feel may chew me up and spit me out.

Swipe left for the next trending thread