Dating Thread 157 - Kitten or Smitten: Which bench are *you* on?

[MrDrummer]

Dating thread rules:

1. The first rule about the dating thread is you don't talk about it with people you're dating.
2. Develop a thick skin.
3. Do not invest emotionally too soon.
4. It's all BS until it actually happens.
5. Trust your gut instinct.
6. People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault.
7. You are the prize - they should be trying to impress you.
8. If it's not fun, stop.
9. Loo update is mandatory.

10. No dating the thread. 11. Do unto others as you would have them do to you.

And a reminder - you don't know them until you know them!

Link to Info on Dating Websites & Apps www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3514717-List-of-Dating-Site-Info-Dating-Thread?watched=1

Link to previous thread:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/3566658-Dating-Thread-156-It-is-hot-hot-hot

@crackofdoom mr Unsuitable is Greek. Oh he talks some bullshit. But he also doesn't mind if I pull him up on it. He never says please or thank you. He tells me what to do. I don't actually mind. 😳 because he's Greek. Similarly when we got together he was working 7 days a week, was living in a dump and was tired and negative. I thought the same as you. In fact after date 2 I decided not to meet him again as I thought he was too young, too greek and his situation was too miserable. I'm so glad I did as here I am on the smitten cougar bench. He's cheered up immensely (that ol peanut magic) his work/home situation has changed. So don't write him off!

@lifegoes I cackled at what poor Mr Drummel would make of your post.

lifegoes I don't state things clearly then overthink

This is something I did that really caused me problems. I think it came from not really feeling I deserved the other person, and because I gave off that vibe they didn't really think I was interested in them.

Crikey this thread moves fast

Can I ask what you all feel a 'relationship' is? How would you define it? Pre MrF my last LTR was my marriage which started decades years ago so I am well out of practice!

Talking of noise... I like some noise, MrFox sometimes goes quiet when he's on the edge... before I got to know him properly in bed he caught me out when I was erm down there... I obviously didn't mind it was just a surprise, I expect some warning lol

@DaffoDeffo I'm interested in the replies too. When does it become a relationship rather than dating...

@DaffoDeffo after hanging around here for a bit, I have concluded that all my LTRs were actually exclusive FWB, including my marriage. I think I am saying I thought I knew what one was but now I don't. That's really depressing.

I hate a silent man in bed. It actually puts me off! I'm not expecting them to scream my name and cheer me on. But at least moan, oh say something.

@ItsAMiracle2015 I really struggle with that part, and I've been asked early on or they've made a joke of it and I've still not asked them 🤦🏻‍♀️

@Peanuthedz I laughed at thinking imagine reading that post in a notification 😂😂

@MarcMyWords absolutely think I give off that vibe sometimes esp at the start

@DaffoDeffo I'd personally define a relationship as you are both in agreement it's a relationship family friends all know and I wouldn't step into a relationship until after a good few months. I wouldn't even class being exclusive as a relationship. But others on the thread might think differently

@30somethingandsingle the fact his name is MrFox made me laugh. Sneaky those foxes

@shitwithsugaron he can chop onions whilst riding you like seabiscuit? This man is a keeper 😉

Hello all!

Im male and new here. Ive read your posts for a while but this is the first time ive written.

I wonder if anyone else is struggling with Match? I am really struggling to get any responses at all to messages i send out, it is dispiriting -(. I seem to get automatic canned replies such as " your invitation was declined". Have any of you experienced that much? I feel dispirited by Match.

@Ash559 that's a pretty common reaction to match tbh. Loads of people don't have a paid subscription so it's pretty useless as you can't tell who does and who doesn't

Thanks supercali. Its frustrating as i am in a big dating drought at 41 and am looking for some inspiration on how to break free from this cycle.

You can get a profile review here if you want. Id recommend tinder or bumble.

I'm at the "are we in a relationship or are we still dating" stage with MrMetal, it's been a long time since either of us was in a relationship and we've both been through nasty divorces caused by cheating spouses so we've agreed not to put a label on things just yet and to take things at snails pace. If anything he's moving faster than me, so I'm being cool and letting him lead. It's 3.5 months since our first date but only about 6 weeks since we agreed to be exclusive, in between we were fwb.

Why I dislike POF

Him: come on
Me: come on what
Him: have we spoke before
Me: no don't think so
Him: coz you are obv a time waster, what's wrong daddy issues

Me: what's wrong you got a small cock.

Long time lurker...though I unlurked once to question someone ... I’m many months past an unsuitable relationship... almost three years past the one that broke my heart. I am sooo far away from trying again but you all give me hope, I love how supportive you all are. You give me hope and chortles.. keep on...

New iron isn't a swinger either. There's hope still......

@BearWoman

Keep on...

Trucking?

Good luck for when you are ready

@lifegoes

Why I dislike POF

Me: Hi, loved your profile, although

Her:

@MrDrummer was it funny tho? 😉

I am going to try a new tactic of coming up with a generic message and copy and paste to lots of women on the basis that its a numbers game. Owners of ok cupid admit that it works apparently. Throw enough darts and you are bound to hit the jackpot.

I am thinking of "hey babe you are beautiful" - that bit was just a joke by the way